So here's the problem. You would like there to be a god, but you hope it's not the Biblical one, as that one seems too mean. Well have you considered searching for one more to your liking? For example, here are a few of the beer and wine gods available for worship-
http://beeradvocate.com/articles/304
Ninkasi is the Sumerian goddess of brewing and beer and head brewer to the gods themselves. Her name means "the lady who fills the mouth" and her birth was formed of sparkling-fresh water. She who bakes with lofty shovel the sprouted barley, she who mixes the bappir-malt with sweet aromatics, she who pours the fragrant beer in the lahtan-vessel that is like the Tigris and Euphrates joined! Yes, she.
http://www.alabev.com/history.htmFrom the Gilgamesh Epic, written in the 3rd millennium B.C., we learn that not only bread but also beer was very important. This epic is recognized as one of the first great works of world literature. Ancient oral sagas from the beginning of human history were recorded in writing for the first time. The Gilgamesh Epic describes the evolution from primitive man to "cultured man".
"Enkidu, a shaggy, unkempt, almost bestial primitive man, who ate grass and could milk wild animals, wanted to test his strength against Gilgamesh, the demigod-like sovereign. Taking no chances, Gilgamesh sent a (prostitute) to Enkidu to learn of his strengths and weaknesses. Enkidu enjoyed a week with her, during which she taught him of civilization. Enkidu knew not what bread was nor how one ate it. He had also not learned to drink beer. The (prostitute) opened her mouth and spoke to Enkidu: 'Eat the bread now, O Enkidu, as it belongs to life. Drink also beer, as it is the custom of the land.' Enkidu drank seven cups of beer and his heart soared. In this condition he washed himself and became a human being. "
In Rome, wine became ambrosia from the god Bacchus.
Early civilizations found the mood-altering properties of beer supernatural, and intoxication was considered divine. Beer, it was thought, must contain a spirit or god, since drinking the liquid so possessed the spirit of the drinker. The ancient Germans regarded beer not only a sacrifice to the gods but they, as in Egypt, also brewed beer for their own enjoyment. For example, in the Finnish poetic saga Kalewala, 400 verses are devoted to beer but only 200 were needed for the creation of the earth. According to the Edda, the great Nordic epic, wine was reserved for the gods, beer belonged to mortals and mead to inhabitants of the realm of the dead.
http://www.pantheon.org/articles/s/silenus.html
Originally plural (Sileni), but later mentioned as one Silenus, the teacher and faithful companion of the wine-god Dionysus. A notorious consumer of wine, he is usually totally drunk and is supported by satyrs or carried by a donkey. When the Phrygian king Midas took the drunk Silenus in his house, Dionysus handsomely reward Midas for his hospitality. He has much wisdom and if captured by mortals he can reveal important secrets.
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Now I know these gods sound too good to be true, but don't be afraid to leave behind belief in Yahweh to follow one of these instead. There is actually an EQUAL chance of one of these being the true god! So what have you got to lose? If your eternal future is at stake based on which god you choose, you may aswell choose one you like in the here and now. Maybe you'll even get lucky and pick the right one!
If none of those grab your attention, have a look around www.godchecker.com for nearly 3,000 others! Why focus on the one you know deep down seems like a nasty piece of work? Don't confine yourself to just one choice. Explore the alternatives!