Keeping in touch/making a clean break

B_Deserter

I wanted to get your opinion on something. How do you all feel about getting in touch with long-lost ex-JWs? There are a couple of people I used to know that I would LOVE to hang out with again. The only problem I see is that I'm not sure they think the society is so wrong. So, I always risk them wanting to go back. Plus, they have relatives that when talked to they could possibly blow my cover to my parents. I wonder sometimes if I should ever get in touch with anyone I ever knew, or if I should just start from scratch. My reasoning on this is I'm afraid the only thing I have in common with these people is the church, and I don't want to base my friendships on something of no substance. So what about you? Have you reconnected with old friends that left the org, or are maybe still in? How did it go?

BlackSwan of Memphis

I have with a couple of people and don't regret it at all. You simply never know.

In fact there are a few I would really like to see if I could find again.

OnTheWayOut

I find it crucial to myself to contact ex-JW's. Personal contact is even better than
chat contact. But I am contacting exes that I never knew before, as I don't really
have former friends that got DF'ed.

I would think that this kind of personal contact could be immensely valuable.
You can contact them without totally blowing your cover. Just send a brief letter
or make a brief call, saying you want to meet with them or hear from them.
Meet and let them say some things before saying you are on their side.

If they refuse to meet, if they meet and say they want to get reinstated.....
you know to get up and walk away. I bet that doesn't happen.

gabriella

I an inactive and still have a relationship with my family that is still in. There is no way I would let that be taken away be an organization

summer

As BlackSwan puts it..."You simply never know."

Expressing doubt between keeping in touch or making a clean break indicates that at least a part of you would like to keep in touch.

There are a couple of people I used to know that I would LOVE to hang out with again.

Life is short. What do you have to lose?

*summer*

DJK

Last fall I searched for and contacted seven in my age group from the KH. They are all ex-witnesses.

I still can't believe how cold and unfriendly six were compared to how we were in our youth.

I was deeply hurt and disappointed by that, then and now.

I decided not to seek out anyone else.

R.Crusoe

I think it maybe harder for ex witnesses who retain the essence of unconditional love when in mainstream society where many so not. There may seem no safe haven and you may find your soul closer to those who have never been JWs in that regard. I concur with your experience - even respecting family both non and ex JW! Sometimes it is more a case that life has changed you all that much you no longer see anything in a similar way or even want to. And some become far much more judgmental as a result of their feelings. Compassion is rare. Sad.

tooktheredpill

I had a very positive situation a couple of weeks ago. I called a very good old friend that was disfellowshipped about 3 years ago. As I'm still an Elder, he was not that surprised that I called.

The funny thing was that during the conversation, I started asking him about some questions about the organization, and if he wanted to return, (in order to see if he knew something or noticed something strange in the organization)... Guess what... He knew everything!! He has spent more than a year investigating, and he read CoC! He's no longer a slave!

After that we've been talking almost every day, and sharing our findings. He is really happy to have an old friend to talk and to vent, and me too! We know each other since we were kids, and it feels really great to have our friendship back!!

BTW, this forum has been a great tool for me. Please keep sharing your ideas and experiences. I know that we can free many more minds.

Have a great day!!!

Tooktheredpill

The Dark Side

Hey it's me, your long time friend , i'm called the dark side ( any ideas why? je,je,je )

Take Care pal love ya

Cicatrix

I really think it depends on the person. I've had exJW friends who stay in contact. I recently had an exJW contact ME, then never reply when I replied to her. But then, she has family still in and I'm a scarlet letter Apostate (she was disfellowshipped, I DA'd). I'm not pushing the issue. She knows where I am.

Keeping in touch/making a clean break

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