What was the first mean/unjust thing you saw as a JW that affected you?

by Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit 37 Replies latest jw friends

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  Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

  Think back. . . you can list more than one. . .it's ok. How did you rationalize the actions of others? How would you deal with it now?

  I was 9, in the KH late one night, and from the back room, I heard Elder Rosenberg screaming at my parents that my brother MADE his son drink and drive and get a DUI. My parents came out sobbing. It was awful, we all cried on the way home. The elders had decided to Disassociate my brother, but not this elder's kid.

  I thought we were all friends and that everything should be done fairly, and without yelling! My family was a wreck over this for a long time but never missed meetings; my dad never went to the CO or anyone about it, even though he should have. They believed it was a test and that they have to forgive and just walk around with an elder's boot up their asses.
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  AK - Jeff

  There are too many.

  A significant one occurred when, for solid financial reasons, I elected to move my family to Oklahoma City. I had served many years as a pioneer and MS. Just prior to leaving, the elders had made individual pleas to me to stay; 'as you are close to being made an elder, and the congregation needs your positive influence'.

  A few months later, a much delayed 'Letter of Recommendation' arrived at our new hall in OKC. It stated, in no uncertain terms, that I had not shown sound thinking in making such a move, that due to a new baby in our family, and because certain brothers had accused me of unfair business dealings, I should not be reappointed there.

  The letter was far more detailed than that - but that is the gist. Aside from the part about a new baby in the family, the rest of it was sheer bullshyte. I recall walking alone that night and sitting next to a little creek, crying like a child, trying to understand why this betrayal, instead of love from these men whom I thought had God's Holy Spirit.

  The letter was so caustic in nature, that the elders there let me read it and defend myself against the statements made. I did. But my heart was not in 'Jehover's service' for several years after that.

  Ahhhhh. Memories.

  Jeff
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  Robert K Stock

  I tried to get young brothers that were shy and hanging back to feel wanted and included by handling microphones. I was told by one 15 year old that he could not afford a tie and was too embarassed to ask his mother for the money. I spoke to her and she was happy he was willing to be more involved in the meetings and bought him a tie. A small expense to most but these folks were very poor. He was thrilled to handle the mics but the Elders jumped all over me that he did not wear a jacket. I explained his poverty and that his attitude about meetings and bible study had improved. They did not care and said he could not handle microphones without a jacket. He heard every word the Elders said and asked me why he should try to progress spiritually when the Elders did not care about his family situation.

  That was the first time I realized the Elders did not care about spirituality but outward appearance. It was hard to accept but it only grew worse from then on.
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  R.Crusoe

  The way my ex wife social networked and seemingly didn't want me in on the party! I recall this feeling and suppressing it repeatedly in the manner advocated by Bible principles! What kind of fool am I (Danny Williams -lovely song)?
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  oompa

  When I wuz about 8 I wanted some water and walked in on mommy and daddy one night while they were in bed neked. Mommy wuz sittin on daddys belly holding his ankles yelling "put it in my brown eye suzie, put it in my brown eye suzie!" Daddy smacked her behind real hard and said "dang it woman if you dont stop that crap Im' takin you to the elders again!"......I went to bed thursty and never been the same since...oompa
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  Vinny

  My son was 18 years old, had recently lost his mother (my first wife from many years ago) to suicide, at 34, only minutes after talking to him on the phone.
  
  
  He then was suicidal, living on a different island alone, was disfellowshipped, broke, drug dependent and tore the ACL on his right knee. Was as down as you can get and almost out.
  
  
  I told him he could move back home on our island and we'd get him all the help he could ever imagine if he simply went to the meetings. (yep threw the ole meetings thing in there). He agreed.
  
  
  After telling the PO about all of this and his plans to move home while going to meetings, I was told I had cut the hand of Jehovah short.
  
  
  He literally told me that when armageddon came, (((I))) might be the one destroyed for allowing him back in my home. (no kidding)
  
  
  He said I showed poor judgement and that it would reflect on my coming back as an elder. (I had stepped down to help him for the previous year).
  
  
  He took me off the WT readers list and said there would be more where that came from.
  
  
  I did not care. He moved back home. I helped him with a career in photography. Helped him get the knee operation and got him his own puppy from the Humane Society to help him cope.
  
  
  Two years later he is married to a great gal, lives in his own place, has a career in landscape photography, knee is healed and still has that great dog!
  
  
  And I am no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
  
  
  He could not believe that when I told him.
  
  
  And believe it or not, none of this affected my decision to leave the WT Society. Doctrinal reasons entirely had me turn in a letter of disassociation in 2006.
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  CHILD

  A sister in our congregation who was second generation single mother of children by different fathers threw her 12 year old daughter out of her home for repeatedly breaking curfew. The child begged to return home. Mother refused and said to friends and other children, "**** was always bad." The young lady had a baby the following year. Two of her sisters had children in high school and the family moved away.

  I have always wondered if that young girl's life would have turned out if mother handled the situation differently.
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  WTWizard

  There were a number of them, besides the ever-escalating demands on field circus. For one, there was the one elder that was somewhat nice. He had some children including one that was born early 1990, and who was much above normal in intelligence. The result is that this baby was much more into things than normal, and I would take advantage of the opportunity to watch this child. Instead of being strict and having them sit still or stand still, I would allow this natural drive to explore be satisfied. (For privacy, just in case one of the current hounders sees this, I refuse to divulge the names or genders of the children involved). No sexual activity was involved, and this was in full view of anyone in the congregation.

  This went on a short time, before the lead hounder made a string of rules. Anything I was doing to this child and the siblings to make the boasting sessions a bit less boring was censored, from bringing in candies to the ink pens. Before long, the other hounders drove this father out of the congregation and reproved him behind his back for something totally specious. Then they made sure I would never find the occasion to do anything like that again (I guess to them entertaining children is worse than molesting them sexually).

  The other major one, the one that led to my turning apostate, was when the April 1, 1995 Puketower study article came out. This had the story that Satan was responsible for rejection by the opposite sex, and was using that to slow me down (why he would have done that, when getting me to do fornication would have done the same thing much faster). Following this, they actually arranged for it to happen at the next series of a$$emblies. It led to my being told to just meet other men, which in turn led me to go apostate in the way that would waste as much of their time and resources as possible. If only I would have had a printout of WT Comments "Comments You Will Not Hear at the Watchtower Study" that fit that article handy so they would have heard them, both at the boasting session itself and after the a$$emblies involved.

  Needless to say, they are going to have major trouble getting me to another a$$embly, let alone to donate another penny to the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund boxes therein.
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  kifoy

  When my husband dug up all the errors in the blue "creation book". That was my turning point. From then on, I looked at things a lot different. Before that it was still "the truth" even if I could not live it.
  
  kifoy
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  Billzfan23

  Think back. . . you can list more than one. . .it's ok. How did you rationalize the actions of others? How would you deal with it now?

  My first unjust thing was literally witnessing someone getting crucified on a judicial comittee that I was serving on... It was such bull$hit... the poor kids, sooooo screwed up in the head and here was a kangaroo court of men who were not family counselors, with no qualifications, and zero training at all making decisions that would dictate the lives of those involved.. I thought it was the saddest thing and at that moment I knew I wasn't cut out to be part of their circus anymore. I started planning my exit as soon as I was asked to say the closing prayer...