Because of the season I have been writing a list of friends/'worldy' relatives to send cards to.
I can't believe how many are on it! I am so excited and hopeful for the future.
It's been a tough seven months and I have lost many good friends, for now at least.
However, for those of you that fear leaving and having nobody - there is a wonderful life out there!
I feel very lucky right now as I finally feel I have survived the trauma of losing those friends I thought I couldn't live without.
Now quality is more important to me than quantity but the quantity has happened without me noticing it.
I've sought out many old friends who have left the organisation and it's been wonderful getting to know some of them again - it feels like there's never been a break in our relationships and I haven't been able to actually arrange a meetup with all of them yet! New friends have come into my life - some who I began to cultivate prior to leaving - relationships that have deepened over the course of the last 7 months and many of Besty's friends that we never spent that much time with because they were 'worldly' are now people we love having a good time with.
And not to forget all you wonderful friends here.... :-) Roll on the Apostafest on the !st December in London.....
Besty and I have so many invites right now - there are not enough weekends to get to them all!
Life is good right now.
So how about you all? Have you replaced those you've lost? Do you have more or less friends than when you were a JW? Have you made contact with many ex-JW's that you used to know? Do you have better friends now? and if you're fading, have you started to cultivate friendships outside of the org? Or are you still missing your old friends terribly? Do you need some more friends and a bit of TLC right now?
Do you have more and/or better friends now?
by sweet pea 14 Replies latest jw friends
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sweet pea
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WTWizard
I think the "friends" I lost by quitting association with the Witlesses were all space fillers. I never felt them as friends. Instead, they were all bent on running (and ruining) my life. My music had to fit in. TV was limited to G-rated themes (anything PG and stronger was a supposed stumbling block, even though not explicitly condemned). Going out in field circus was not optional. Nor was going to those boasting sessions. And I still got ignored by the sisters in the circuit during the a$$emblies. So I had nothing to lose.
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tall penguin
Great question.
I've come to realize that I have more authentic friends now than I did before. I also think I'm more authentic post-jw so that helps to attract a different person into my life.
What I'm continually surprised by is how many "strangers" have become good friends. People I've met online through different modes, people I've met through my work and just random people met along the way. I'm surprised how easy it is to connect with people when you're no longer worried about them being a "bad association". It seems there are more similarities between us humans than there are differences. I'm happy to be at a point in my life where I'm allowed to celebrate that.
tall penguin -
momzcrazy
Yes our whole family does. My husband and I have true friends who would do anything for us. The feeling is mutual. I've had phone calls in the middle of the night, can we come over. And we have needed last minute help. And we can all have fun and tease with no hurt feelings.
Our friendships are not conditional on whether we follow stupid rules or not.
momz
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tijkmo
no
no
sorry
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SnakesInTheTower
more in quantity (number)?...no
more in quality?...its getting there.
It has been 11 months since I essentially walked away...though only a couple months since I stopped attending the boasting/hounding sessions.
I still have a few JW friends who are nonjudgmental....as long as I am not DA/DF, they can be. I have others who either have dropped off the face of the earth, or who are hounding me to go "back to
Jehovahthe meetings"....With JW friends...its not about..."What's wrong {snakes}?, how can we help?"...NO...its "{Snakes}, when are you coming back to meetings?"
So for now, it is taking time to build a new base of friends. Starting with some of you I have met here and working from that great foundation.
Thank you for genuine non conditional, nonjudgmental friendship.
Snakes ()
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justhuman
I would say better friends, and for sure less...
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Gayle
The facade of all the millions of 'brothers and sisters' in the WTS is in reality so false. It's conditional & limited. Fewer 'friends' is better when you are there for each other thru the good & bad times. And more important, I have found I am a better friend to myself, not in a selfish way, but in the accepting way that I am, and am that way with my true friends and family.
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the widow
yes, I have better friends. More genuine friends. I find that I am more open minded myself. I have reconnected with a former jw. She left years ago and we had lost touch. I accidently ran into her again. She is one of my best friends now.
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ninja
same as tijjy for me......still happy I got out of there though.....woo hoo.....I'm just happy my marriage survived....downside is .....beowulf still talks to me...you know who that is by now surely?????