Stupid questions

by millymollymandy 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  JH

  I thought this thread was about me....
• 

  onacruse

  What goes on at JW wedding ceremonies? Are they that much different from other Christian weddings?

  Naw. People are excited about the bride and bridegroom; there's usually a reception; everybody is hooping it up; some folks have a little (or a lot) too much to drink; everybody goes home happy.

  And what about funerals, for that matter?

  Perhaps a little bit different. No wakes, or "periods of silence" for the departed. Very very rarely there will be a graveside ceremony. I was a pall-bearer once (when I was a teenager!) for good old Eddie. It was a simple matter of transporting his casket to the hole in the ground; nothing was said.

  At what age are young people considered to be first able to decide whether they get baptised or not?

  Depends. For many years, it was simply a matter if you could "prove" your worthiness to get baptized (I was baptized when I was 10). Then, the WTS 'tightened up' on the parameters, and it tended to move more toward being at least in the mid-teens.

  Are JWs obliged to throw away/burn birthday and Christmas cards and presents that get given to them by unknowing non-JWs?

  Not explicitly, but it's "understood" that one should dispose of such artifacts.

  I have heard conflicting things about what is supposed to happen to people other religions when The End arrives. What exactly IS supposed to happen to those not in 'the truth'?

  Again, it depends. In the "old days," anyone who wasn't a JW at Armageddon would certifiably die the death of Gehenna. They've shifted somewhat from that position, to "only God knows."
• 

  LtCmd.Lore

  - What goes on at JW wedding ceremonies? Are they that much different from other Christian weddings?

  If they are held in the Kingdom Hall, then they will be insanely BORING. They are only allowed to play Kingdom Melodies. (The poorly written classical piano music that they sing to every day. (With the exception of song 171, which is neat.(Okay not THAT neat, not worth the space on your iPod...(Even if you've got an 8GB iPod))))

  The reception on the other hand can be a lot less lame, depends on the couple.

  - And what about funerals, for that matter?

  Worse than weddings. They normally print out a little card with a picture of the stiff and his favorite song and list of living congenators. (By favorite song, I mean favorite Kingdom Melody. It can't be a non-jw song because they will be playing it later..)

  Then a friend (Must be male, for some unknown reason. It's not a sermon, so why can't a woman do it?) gives a little speech about the corpse's life and boring facts like when it was baptized, when it was married, and how many years it pioneered. Then the next half hour is spent teaching all the visitors about the JW definition of death and trying to convert them. (Possbily the real reason a woman isn't allowed to do the speach. Regardless of the deceased wishes..)

  Then they sing the song and they all go home.

  - At what age are young people considered to be first able to decide whether they get baptised or not?

  As soon as they are old enough to say "yes" on command.

  - Are JWs obliged to throw away/burn birthday and Christmas cards and presents that get given to them by unknowing non-JWs?

  Not really. Only if they don't want it. If you give them a little snowman statue they'll probably burn it. If you give them a card with 50 bucks... they'll burn the card and keep the money.

  - I have heard conflicting things about what is supposed to happen to people other religions when The End arrives. What exactly IS supposed to happen to those not in 'the truth'?

  Each individual witness seems to think that god will judge them based on their heart condition, whether they are baptized or not. But this is not an official teaching. A study of their literature will show that only "true christians" will survive. And further study will show that ONLY JW's are "True christians."

  So we have the following teaching:

  Armageddon(){
  string TrueChristian;
  TrueChristian = "Jehovahs Witness";
  If (Person != TrueChristian) {
  Person = 0
  }
  }

  - If JWs don't belong to this world, shouldn't they try to build a spaceship and travel far far away, to a distant galaxy? Or at least to Mars?

  Sounds good to me. Unfortunately they teach that "World" doesn't mean "Earth".

  They think "World" means "The spirit of humankind".

  So they are no part of the spirit of mankind.

  So we're stuck with 'em.

  Lore - W.W.S.D?
• 

  Abandoned

  - What goes on at JW wedding ceremonies? Are they that much different from other Christian weddings?

  Basically, there's a small ceremony, vows are exchanged, and then, as if by miracle, an ultra-powerful camera is installed in the matrimonial bedroom while the monitor to such, pops up like a spring sprout in the Elder's office at the Kingdom Hall. Quite fascinating actually.