I Haven't Missed a Meeting in Years!

by Oubliette 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    I recently ran into a JW I knew from a few years back.

    You know how it goes, a few pleasantries that always seem much more awkward than they really should (not for me, mind you--for him).

    And then the question, "So what congregation are you attending? Are you able to make the meetings?"

    I'm thinking: Do you always start conversations this way?

    So anyways, knowing full well the JW-mindset, I decided to have a bit of fun.

    Furrowing my brow, I said, "That's an odd question!" which threw him off a bit. Pausing just long enough for the full-effect to sink in, but not long enough for him to actually respond, I quickly continued, "I bet my meeting attendance it better than yours! I can honestly say, 'I have not missed a single meeting in over a year!' Can you say that?"

    Puzzled and completely caught off-guard, he sheepishly said, "Well, no. I do miss the occasional meeting, ..." Adding a little too quickly, "But only when I'm really sick or it's completely unavoidable. You know how it is, don't you?"

    "I understand, I understand," I said all the while shaking my head as if in disbelief. Pointing skyward I added, "You don't owe me an explanation!"

    Keeping the momentum going, and really just wanting to go about my business, I concluded, "Anyways, it was really good to see you again. We should get together sometime. And, hey: work on that meeting attendance!"

    "I will," he weakly replied.

    "Good!" I clapped him enthusiastically on the shoulder and walked away.

    What he didn't know was this: although I was completely truthful in every word I spoke, I did not mean them the way I know he took them.

    You see, I haven't been to a meeting at the Kingdom Hall in over a year, and I can honestly say, "I have not missed a single one!"

    -
  • DisArmed
    DisArmed
    That was great! Good for a chuckle, I'll have to use that time.
  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway
    Too funny oubli. Poor guy!!!
  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle
    Lol. 🍷🐸🌼
  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Oh, that's classic! Call his bluff and turn the tables on him.

    He may actually think twice before asking someone that question again. 😊

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    I can honestly say, 'I have not missed a single meeting in over a year!' Can you say that?"

    Er.....no cause the truth be known..............I haven't missed a single meeting in 48 years!

    Good one Oubliette I am filing that one away.

  • OneEyedJoe
    OneEyedJoe

    Haha. When I saw the title I immediately knew where you were going. I've taken to quoting the movie office space anyone someone "notices" that I've missed some meetings. "I wouldn't say I've been missing them, Bob."

    It's fun to confuse people by failing to act like the miserable wretch that they think you are.

  • Esse quam videri
    Esse quam videri

    Why not use the Watchtower Society's manipulative methods.

    " Of course you know that missing meetings makes Jehovah sad. You don't want to make Jehovah sad, do you"?

    [Obviously they will say,]

    "No".

    [You reply]

    "I don't want you to make Jehovah sad either. Make sure get to all the meetings, no matter what. See you later".

  • Esse quam videri
    Esse quam videri

    "I understand, I understand," I said all the while shaking my head as if in disbelief. Pointing skyward I added, "You don't owe me an explanation!"

    Is that your equivalent of Anthony 3's, " Explain that to God"?

  • millie210
    millie210

    Quick AND clever!

    I like it!

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