Three children in the news today
Baby Grace~ Beaten to death by an adult as a form of discipline
The boy that is getting face surgery~~~Gasoline poured on him and burned in WAR
Boy that dies from refusal of blood transfusion~~Victim of Adults, Religion, Society
What are we doing do our children?
What are we doing to our children?
by purplesofa 19 Replies latest jw friends
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purplesofa
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nomoreguilt
It's equal to the mental and physical anguish that we as JW's, past tense, did to our own children. I've been putting alot of thought to it over the past few days since coming on board here. My mother and father did to myself and my siblings. My younger brother hated my mother until the day she died. My father was never baptized, quit going after a few years back in the late 50's.saw the hypocracy in it. I never held him responsible. However, sad thing about, it was a learned behaviour, and I did the same mean things to my sons. Walking to the back of the hall, spankings in the men's room, I had to make a good show for the elders. Good job submissive brother.
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momzcrazy
Besides the stress of living today, some kids face truly horrific lives. In my life I am trying to stop the cycle of abuse. I'm a better parent than mine were, I hope my kids will be better than me. I stand up for kids when I see a dangerous situation. I support CASA and child abuse awareness, but it never seems enough. I hope that somehow all the innocent lives will be revenged. I know the ones who are gone are in a better place, or at least not in pain.
momz
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WTWizard
It is more serious than isolated cases of abuse. The whole system is designed to totally manage how children are brought up. I have seen strong recommendation that trampolines be totally banned because a relatively few are having accidents on them. There are laws about safety seats, safety gates, safety everything. Of which some are OK, but some do more to inhibit exploration in the name of perfect safety than they do good in preventing the one or two accidents.
Then, by the time you go to school, children have a billion doctor visits. Many are for vaccinations that are of questionable value, and the mercury is a known risk. Maryland has recently forced parents to have children vaccinated at gunpoint. There is the issue of getting children on medication for problems such as not being able to sit still while being taught totally disjointed percepts in school. And there is no legal way to teach children to integrate these percepts into concepts and then into the bigger puzzle (is phonics taught in school these days? No--they use the look-say method, which is disjointed and is valuable only for deaf people).
This is because the leaders are so short-sighted that they are afraid that one day, a properly educated child who had the opportunity to explore (albeit with the small risk of getting hurt that comes with it) will take leadership away. They will do a much better job running this country and its companies. Why our current leaders should worry, I don't know. Because once these children reach the age where they can take the ball, the current leaders will all either be dead or at that retirement age. I think I would rather accept the tiny risk of having a few children killed or injured, or getting sick, than use force to pacify them and keep them docile and leadable in the name of safety (yes, some were killed just getting to this country). Otherwise, there is a much greater risk of having a disease or some other problem develop that will kill millions and no one will be able to do a thing about it.
Of course, this does not excuse the Watchtower Society for hiding pedophiles within its own ranks. Abuse of authority by coercing children into accepting sex with the hounders and then putting gag orders on them is not acceptable. This is not an instance of sacrificing safety for freedom or progress. This sacrifices safety for no good reason, just to maintain control, and is not acceptable. I can only hope those responsible will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. These cases in the Watchtower Society are not accidents but are actual abuse that needs to be stopped.
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beksbks
Personally, I think one of the biggest problems we have in this country today, is that it takes 2 parents working outside the home to make it. Who is really raising the children? Who is really nurturing the children?
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ex-nj-jw
Maryland has recently forced parents to have children vaccinated at gunpoint.
nj
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momzcrazy
In our state, TN, the No Child Left Behind Act has put a tremendous amount of stress on kids and students. There is really no focus on learning, just memorizing and passing assesment tests. My daughter is in the 7th grade. She had a boy in her class sexually harassing her, for lack of a better term. The things this boy did and said was shocking to hubby and me. She went to the guidance counselor, but we were never contacted, the boy was never dealt with. It took Dad calling the VP to get it to stop, along with threats of lawsuits, etc. At her previous school she had a girl beating on her daily. It also took several visits for it to stop. This girl was abandoned by her mother, and was being abused by her grandparents. She was taking all her anger out on my daughter. Kids are our future, or at least they deserve their own future. And they need all the grown up help they can get.
momz
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purplesofa
OS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Five-year-old Youssif underwent his most important surgery Thursday as his doctor removed the most extensive scar tissue on his face -- putting him on the path of being a normal boy again.
The balloons placed under Youssif's skin have stretched his good skin enough to now cover his scars.
Youssif entered the operating room around 6:30 a.m. PT for the three-and-a-half hour surgery.
Just before the surgery began, Youssif began crying.
"I can't do this. I can't do this," he said.
Sedation then set in, he relaxed and Dr. Peter Grossman, the plastic surgeon with the Grossman Burn Center who is donating his services, began to operate.
He removed two saline-filled balloons placed in Youssif's neck and face that provided more good skin by stretching it. The largest balloon was about the size of a soda can. See Grossman's plan to remove the scars »
Grossman then cut out the scar tissue and pulled up Youssif's healthy skin.
The doctor was amazed at how thick the scar tissue was -- about half an inch thick -- and "hard as wood."
When the tissue was removed, Youssif's jaw immediately relaxed, raising hopes that he will soon be able to eat normally again.
"The bottom part of his face looks like the old Youssif. He has a jaw line again. It's unbelievable," CNN's Arwa Damon said after coming out of the operating room.
The surgery ended around 10 a.m. PT.
Ahead of the surgery, Grossman was excited for Youssif. "This will be the most significant of the surgeries," he said.
One of the scars removed extended more than half a foot, stretching from his right ear around to his left cheek.
Grossman also repaired part of Youssif's lower lip. Watch CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta describe today's surgery »
Rescuing Youssif
Watch a CNN exclusive "Rescuing Youssif" about the family's ordeal
Saturday, Dec. 15 at 10 p.m. ET see full schedule »To reach this point, Youssif had two balloons inserted under his skin about nine weeks ago -- one in his neck and one on his right cheek. Each week since then, doctors have gradually inserted saline to blow up the balloons to stretch Youssif's good, healthy skin.
Although Youssif has gradually warmed up to Grossman -- especially when compared with his attitude toward hospitals and doctors back home in Iraq, where he was never given any pain medication -- at times it took four people to hold Youssif down during his weekly inflations. But his father says that the doctor has always been kind and understanding.
Living temporarily with the balloons is never an easy process for burn survivors because they look much worse -- like a "science-fiction creature" in Grossman's words -- before they can get better.
"We try not to traumatize the patients emotionally with this too much," he said.
Youssif didn't seemed to mind the blown-up balloons around his face, although he was well aware of how they made him look. Youssif was recently going down a slide on a playground when nearby children burst into tears at the sight of him, his dad said. See how Youssif is changing »
"Youssif came out and his face had gone pale and he said, 'Daddy, they were crying, they were scared of me,' " the dad said.
But his parents say their boy is a much more cheerful child than he was when they first arrived in the United States two months ago. At the same time, everyone was excited that the balloons were to be gone and that Youssif's mouth may fully open again. Watch a giggling Youssif run, roll and ride at sports camp »
Eating his meal before being admitted to the hospital Wednesday afternoon, Youssif struggled to spoon food between his lips. He looked at his mom and said, "Are they going to fix my mouth?"
"Yes, my darling," she answered.
"When? Today or tomorrow?"
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Grossman cautioned not to expect an amazing improvement in Youssif's looks immediately after the surgery. There will be a "significant difference" in his looks, the doctor said, "but right away, swelling will start to occur, and it'll distort the overall picture of how he's going to look."
But, he said, in a week or two, the swelling will subside and Youssif will "understand why he had to go through all of this." There also will be other minor surgeries later on to "tweak" Youssif's looks.
It's been nearly three months since CNN.com first reported on Youssif, who was attacked by masked men outside his Baghdad home in January, doused in gas and set on fire. CNN.com users, the burn center and the Children's Burn Foundation came to his aid, with more than $300,000 raised for his treatment.
His family is grateful for all the support and eager for this process to be over. Youssif takes it like a champ -- in many ways wise beyond his years.
"For a 5-year-old boy, he has shown a lot of courage in this process," Grossman said. "I mean he does not like it at all. But he knows this is a necessary evil."
He added, "My hope is that I can show him that it was worth it." E-mail to a friend
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purplesofa
HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- The stepfather of a 2-year-old girl lost control and beat her to death because she wouldn't say "please" and "yes sir," an attorney for the girl's mother said Wednesday.
Police believe 2-year-old Riley Ann Sawyers is "Baby Grace."
A body found last month in Galveston Bay is believed to be that of the little girl, Riley Ann Sawyers, though DNA tests are pending.
Her mother, Kimberly Dawn Trenor, and stepfather, Royce Clyde Zeigler II, were arrested Saturday.
Trenor's attorney, Tommy Stickler Jr., also said Wednesday that Trenor is pregnant.
According to court documents, Trenor, 19, told police she and her husband killed the girl in July and hid her body in a shed before dumping it in the bay.
Stickler said Zeigler, 24, was overwhelmed by his sudden fatherhood and didn't know what behavior to expect from a toddler. Trenor moved with her daughter from Mentor, Ohio, to Texas in June to be with Zeigler, whom she met online.
Riley Ann Sawyers’ father and grandmother in their first prime-time interview.
Tonight, 9 ET see full schedule »Zeigler wanted his wife to spank Riley with a belt when she failed to say things like "please" and "yes sir" or "no sir," Stickler said Wednesday. Zeigler didn't believe Trenor was doing it, however, because the 2-year-old's behavior wasn't changing. Watch Riley's grandmother recall "a very wonderful little girl" »
The fatal beating happened after Zeigler stayed home from work to make sure his wife was following his discipline plan, Stickler said.
In her statement to Galveston authorities, Trenor said the girl was beaten with leather belts, had her head held underwater in a bathtub and then was thrown across a room, her head slamming into a tile floor.
Although the affidavit said the couple abused Riley over a four- to six-hour period, Stickler said it wasn't a continuous event. Instead, Zeigler grew increasingly enraged as he spanked Riley and she kept forgetting to do things the way he wanted.
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"There was never an intention to beat Riley to death," he said.
At one point, Trenor wanted to call an ambulance but Zeigler wouldn't let her, saying they would both be arrested if officials saw her injuries, Stickler said. Instead, Riley was given some over-the-counter pain medication.
When Riley later stopped breathing, Zeigler performed CPR on her tiny body, Stickler said.
Neal Davis III, Zeigler's attorney, said Trenor's story isn't believable.
"She is placing all the blame on Royce, but I think that once the facts come to light, once the timeline's established and the evidence is combed through ... I think her credibility is gonna become a big issue," Davis said.
Trenor and Ziegler were arrested after investigators spent weeks trying to identify the girl they dubbed "Baby Grace," whose body was found in a plastic box floating in Galveston Bay. Riley's paternal grandmother in Ohio had called police, thinking a sketch of the dead child might have been the granddaughter she hadn't seen in months.
Trenor and Zeigler remained jailed Wednesday on charges of injury to a child and tampering with evidence. Bail was set at $350,000 each.
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purplesofa
Thursday, November 29, 2007
In this December 2005 photo, Dennis Lindberg Jr., then in sixth grade, attends an after-school function at Lincoln Elementary School in Mount Vernon. (Photo by Frank Varga/Skagit Valley Herald)
Last updated 8:56 a.m. PTBoy dies of leukemia after refusing treatment for religious reasons
Because of his faith, Dennis Lindberg, 14, didn't want vital transfusions; his biological parents did. A judge sided with the son, who died last night.
By CHERIE BLACK
P-I REPORTERHis life began under trying circumstances. Now, at the age of 14, his life has ended the same way.
For Dennis Lindberg, most of his childhood depended on the kindness of strangers to help him survive. A few weeks ago, he made a decision that contributed to his death Wednesday night.
The Mount Vernon teenager was diagnosed with leukemia Nov. 8 and since then had been confined to Seattle's Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center.
Doctors said he needed blood transfusions to survive potentially lifesaving cancer treatments. But as a practicing Jehovah's Witness, Lindberg refused. Despite his age, he had been declared what is known as a "mature minor," meaning he was considered mature enough to make decisions about his treatment.
Jehovah's Witnesses believe accepting a blood transfusion violates God's law.
His aunt, Dianna Mincin, became his legal guardian four years ago after his father, now a recovering addict, was jailed for drug possession.
Mincin is also a Jehovah's Witness, and supported Dennis' decision.
The boy's biological parents did not.
Dennis Lindberg Sr. -- Mincin's brother -- and Rachel Wherry flew to Seattle from their home in Boise on Tuesday to attend a 9 a.m. hearing, hoping a judge could force the transfusions.
Wednesday morning, after hearing from the parents, the aunt, social workers and the boy's doctor, Skagit County Superior Court Judge John Meyer denied the plea. About 9 p.m., Lindberg Sr. called the Seattle P-I to say his son had died in his hospital bed.
With the transfusions and other treatment, Lindberg had been given a 70 percent chance of surviving the next five years, Meyer said in court, based on what the boy's doctors told him. Without them, he was likely to die. But his decision in what the judge called a "stunning case, which brings into play issues including, but not confined to, religious freedoms," was based strictly on facts.
"I don't believe Dennis' decision is the result of any coercion. He is mature and understands the consequences of his decision," Meyer said during Wednesday's court proceedings.
"I don't think Dennis is trying to commit suicide. This isn't something Dennis just came upon, and he believes with the transfusion he would be unclean and unworthy."
Parents and classmates of the boy, who had lived with his aunt for the past four years, cried in disbelief at the judge's decision. Wherry fled the courtroom in tears.
Mincin has repeatedly declined to speak about her nephew's ordeal. For legal privacy reasons, doctors and officials at Children's also have declined to speak about the boy's condition.
On a CaringBridge Web site that has now been deactivated, Mincin's final journal entry, dated Nov. 22, spoke to those who questioned the decision not to accept blood transfusions. She said that after her nephew made his decision, he "relaxed in a way that he has not relaxed since being admitted (to the hospital.) He is at peace."
"For those reading (about) this journey our family has been on that are not one of Jehovah's Witnesses, we compassionately understand your confusion and, perhaps, even your anger at the decision that Dennis and his family have made," Mincin wrote. "We understand that this is an amazing bright young man who has before him 70, maybe 80 years to contribute to this world. While we empathize with your strong feelings, we ask that you attempt to respect Dennis' fight for what he and his family believe so strongly in."
The decision was the final chapter in what has been a lifelong family drama for Lindberg. It is a saga that began when he was a baby born to parents addicted to methamphetamine.
"I was always too scared to ask my mom if she did drugs," Lindberg wrote in a school essay two years ago about his childhood that was featured in the Skagit Valley Herald.
"I saw a needle in a toilet once, but it didn't mean anything to me. I knew my mom had low blood pressure, was always pale and had extremely small pinhead pupils. For me, this was just normal."
The boy's life was spent constantly moving and he was often left with neighbors for days while his parents were getting high, he told the Herald. He didn't go to school and couldn't read. He spent his summers in Mount Vernon with Mincin, who eventually became his guardian after Lindberg Sr. was jailed for drug possession.
Both parents say they have completed drug treatment programs and are sober. They last saw their son in September when he and Mincin visited Boise.
Since his diagnosis, though, access to information about their son's condition has been restricted. Their only updates had been through the now-defunct Web site profile, which is how they learned about the blood transfusion debate. They contacted Child Protective Services, who appointed a lawyer to each of them and paid to fly the couple to Seattle Tuesday to attend the first hearing.
"My feelings have run the gamut from anger to tears not knowing who to believe and not to believe," said Lindberg Sr. "My sister has done a good job of raising him for the past four years, but her religious beliefs shouldn't be imposed on my son."
He said not having his son for the past four years weighs heavily on him. He said they gave the boy to his sister so he didn't suffer while they were getting their lives back on track.
"The decision would have been different had he been with us," he said. "He'd live through this treatment had we not made the decisions we made."
Lindberg Sr. said his son was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia, a cancer of the bone marrow that is the most common in children. Most children with this type of leukemia are cured after treatment, which can include blood transfusions, according to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.
Dr. Douglas Diekema, an ethicist at Children's and director of education at the Treuman Katz Center for Pediatric Bioethics, said the question was whether a 14-year-old really had the maturity to make medical and religious decisions on his own.
"In my mind, if there is a role of the court it would be to test a 14-year-old and see just how intense he is about his decision," said Diekema. "My approach would be to push it a little further. If he fights you physically, then I'd respect that. But also, are you willing to tie him down every time he needs a transfusion knowing he'll need treatment for the next three years? You'll have a hard time finding a provider willing to do that."
Lindberg Sr. said Wednesday's ruling shocked him, but after visiting his son later in the day, he decided not to appeal the judge's decision.
He said doctors told him earlier Wednesday evening that the teenager, who had been unconscious since Tuesday, likely had suffered brain damage. After learning of his son's death, the father did not want to comment further.
"We'll stay in town until the funeral," he said, "then we'll go back to Boise."
Watch a CNN exclusive "Rescuing Youssif" about the family's ordeal
Riley Ann Sawyers’ father and grandmother in their first prime-time interview.