How long did you blame yourself before you realised....... (page 2)

Gringa

hehehe - I became the kid that the worldly kids' parents wouldn't let them them associate with - for a while LOL

I blamed myself for more decades than I care to admit. I didn't even need to hear hell fire damnation or threats every week in order to feel like a worm coming out of church. For years, I knew it was just me having these problems... and then the web came along. God bless the web.

Oompa... I'll have you know that Post Mormons have no problem with "spanking the Monkey". It works fine every time.

R.Crusoe

Decades, and most of that after I was out. Reading this, I just had a thought about what the meetings were intending to try and do. For me, raally did they inspire a sense of community in me or make me feel I was in the right place spiritually. It was always like climbing a mountain and never seeing the top or feeling I could set camp half way. Non stop pressure!

wanderlustguy

30 years.

GetOverIt

There was a time when I was so spiritual I would walk down the street talking to Jehovah. I never missed a meeting. Gave well thought out comments at the meetings, and hey guess what? I even incorporated scripture into my comments! I was in field service every Saturday, I gave little skits at the Kingdom Hall I was at different gatherings and studied with my daughter (she was 2, so we did the MBO-Bible Story thing) and everything. Then in 1 day it all went kaput. My daughters father came home from the military, and in one day my spirituality was out the window.

So do I blame myself now? I just look back and wonder, like when I got on public reproof for getting pregnant. The next day after my JC meeting, I was with my daughter's father, and I wonder, if Jehovah's HS was really guiding that meeting then he knew what i was going to do the next day, so why wasn't I disfellowshipped? I look back and can't believe, as deep as I am how I could be so duped and how afraid I allowed them to make me.

-Angela

nomoreguilt

I've only been in here , JWD for for week or so. However, Thursday past I realized that "Hey! I'm alot happier than usual, what's with this"? I realized that I had been set free from all that "you are accountable Crap. Thank you one and all. Been faded for 3 years now. They're out of my life. Thank you

ninja

all of 5 minutes

Numinous

We all go to the meetings all dressed up, everybody getting along, and imagine that we are the only ones who won't be in the picture in paradise. Guilty over doing gardending in the front yard while pioneers who live across the street are going out in service? Like the meetings, service, working full time, studying weren't enough...pretty crazy! Left alone, people will come to know that their spirituality comes from inside, not a works related religion.

JK666

All of my life, until 2004. That is when I found out, on this forum, about the 10 partnership of the WT and UN. That is when I figured out that they were a lot more reprehensible than I ever was. I have been free ever since.

JK

chickpea

i am still in process...

i am trying to hold at bay the utter devastation i believe will occur should i try to comprehend the damage my children have suffered because of the influence of SA that is linked to the congregation we associated with., if i were to contemplate the guilt and shame they carried because it wasnt their choice or desire to believe..... i was the one who first studied, i was the one who went to meetings, took them to meetings, agreed to the book study in my home, told my son if he left the truth no one would in the new system would even remember his name

i was the one

How long did you blame yourself before you realised.......