With whom did you discuss your doubts?

by CHILD 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  CHILD

  One Sunday last fall, I read the bible online since I couldn't attend the meeting. I was careful to read only the KJV. The problem was I read a verse that was different from what I remembered fro the NWT. That led to further research and led to "apostate" websites. Suddenly all of the doubts and misgivings I'd suppressed over the years began to click. It was like a drug. I kept reading and printed out info. When I arrived home, I jumped on the computer in the guise of doing research for college. I was so upset. I couldn't wait to speak to with someone about the bible. I had so many questions? But who to speak with? The WTS had taught me the not to trust the clergy. There were two Christians who I knew read the bible regularly. I pounced on one of them with my questions and the story fell out of my mouth. She was shocked! I was such a good JW! "What happened?" I said nothing happened. I had not broken any of God's laws. I just lost faith in the WTS.

  Did anyone else discuss their doubts with an outsider or did you keep your doubts to yourself.
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  GetOverIt

  Child, you won't fare well sharing them with anyone in the congr. you'll be out so fast you won't know what happened. I shared some with a friend, she was inactive at the time. I resulted in scaring her back into the truth. My family, I have a brother who is out and we talk about it sometimes, but he's been out for awhile so he's not really concerned with it. It's all new to me. Those who I did ask questions of have avoided me.

  - Angela
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  Mincan

  A sincere ex-elder. He still writes to me and sends magzzzz.
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  Thegoodgirl

  I told my mom, she studied the Creator book with me.

  That didn't help.

  She told the elders, they did a sheparding call.

  That didn't help.

  They assigned a mature pioneer sister to again study the Creator book with me.

  That didn't help. About halfway into the book, she told the elders, it was no use, my mind was just not receptive to the truth.

  So I faded out.

  And here I am today!
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  Gringa

  I had NO ONE..... it was hard. I did it on my own - it was a long time ago and we had no internet and even if there was, I wouldn't have been allowed on it.

  It's nice to have someone to talk to.
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  CHILD

  You're right. When I first approached my husband (who I brought into WTS), he accused me of leaving Jehovah and not being loyal. He accused me of wanting to be a minister. I was not tactful. He really surprised me because I thought he missed meetings and hated field service. He agreed to attend church when we attended a family reunion (staunch Baptists) in August. By that time , I'd been attending church for four months. We're still fading for the sake of my daughter. I've told her I don't want to remain a JW but I'm still conflicted about Christmas.
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  LoverOfTruth

  Sounds like you're making better progress than many if your husband is listening to you. Mine didn't and I eventually left him.
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  chickpea

  i am relatively new to this ....

  "this" being an awareness that niggling doubts have blossomed into full blown disbelief.....

  i have a genuine friend who is also a "fader", and we both have danced in the margins for many months.... a recent situation which has her DEVOUT ( oh the irony) JW mother has helped get my friend's 3 children placed with a 3 time DUI, domestic abuse felon aka: their dad..... KNOWING he has no regard for the precious view on blood, or any other exclusive belief of the JWs.... several of the congregation members have quietly expressed dismay and actual disbeleif that the mother would do what she is doing, but for the "sake peace in the brotherhood" none of them will speak out.... OUTRAGEOUS and cowardly...... i toled her they are sacrificing those kids on the altar of "love" for the sake of appearances

  no one in the elder body seems to give a rat's rear end..... and i have to say, it has played a huge role in opening my eyes ( i do believe i heard the scales fall )...... i have only known of this website for about a week, but 2 days ago i took a deep breath, after prayerful consideration, and i told my mate about the website and the things i was discovering about the WTS..... and it was like a floodgate had opened.... we both kept revealing things that we had dismissed or distorted in our minds, in order to keep from "overstepping"...... today when we talked she referred to herself as a fader......

  i firmly believe we are going to walk away from all of this and i am grateful to have the alliance.....
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  troubled mind

  It continually amazes me to hear other people state their experiences, and I sit here thinking OMG that is MY story ....

  I discussed my doubts with two Christian friends I work with . They have been a great support .

  I made a huge mistake of being truthful about my doubts to my "on the fence" Neice , it promptly scared her back into activity .Now she never calls . My brother called to have a heart to heart talk with me after that , but his first words to me were BUT DON'T tell me any of that apostate crap .

  I slowly have shared things with my husband . So far my two adult children have not asked to much so I am just waiting for the right moment .

  The best place I have found to answer my doubts has been right here .
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  jaguarbass

  Did anyone else discuss their doubts with an outsider or did you keep your doubts to yourself

  I discussed my doubts with a coworker who was a born again believer, and of course he ate it up.

  So for me it was like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.

  I dont think the born agains, fundamentalist are as bad as the witnesses because its accepted in their belief that everyone is a hypocrite and doesnt measure up. And they dont disfellowship you when you dont measure up. So there is some wiggle room.

  I left the wactower in 83. I contacted several people who wrote books and news letters. Comments from the friends was very helpful for me back in the 80's.

  Al Gore hadnt invented the internet yet.