Letter to a DF Parent

by thedepressedsoul 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Incognito,

    Some angry children want to hold on to their anger and never let it go.

    It is almost as if it is some precious part of them. Unwilling to let it go, they stubbornly resist a reconciliation with a parent who loves them and only wants to reunite.

    Unfortunately, the policies and practices of the JW religion inculcates learned helplessness and a victim mentality into most of its members.

    It takes tremendous courage to overcome these behaviors, courage and lots of hard work.

    Oubliette

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter
    TDS comes on here and speaks to us, so I hope that he will feel as free to (secretly) break the rules and reunite with his mom. Us parents (JW or NOT) screw up, but when both parties still want to embrace each other, it is insane to let any religion end it all.
  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    JWDaughter, I couldn't agree more!

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Some angry children want to hold on to their anger and never let it go.

    The problem with that statement is that this OP says he has a wife and responsibilities. That suggests he is not a "child", and yet the entire letter has the tone of a spoiled, pissed off child instead of a man that needs to step up to the plate and quit blaming the parent. There is no excuse for shunning a DFd parent as long as there is the "necessary family business" loophole. WT stays out of this as they are afraid of future legal entanglements.

    If this were written to a "close friend" who was alienated due to the WTs threat to DF people who associate with DFd friends, I'd be sympathetic. They use that threat like a hammer. We have a couple of good friends that were/are DFd. We maintained close friendship with one who was in a different State so that doing so did not jeopardize us with our local BOE. We have another that we would LOVE to keep in close contact with but their fringe JW kids would let it leak to the local Gestapo and that would put our fade at risk.

    Doc

  • thedepressedsoul
    thedepressedsoul

    Desirous, what's wrong did I hit a little too close to home? You sound like a person who can't admit when they're at fault. Big tough guy online. Probably a quite little shit in real life.

    You need to get over your rage, you hold a big grudge against the WT and family who don't talk to you when you were the one who joined. Please allow me to provide you with a quote that may help you on your journey.

    "Resolve today to forgive anyone who has ever hurt you in any way. Let it go. Refuse to discuss it again. Instead, get so busy working on something that is important to you that you don't have time to think about it again. "

    This post had nothing to do with me, I wrote it for whinny people like who who get all hurt when people won't talk to them, to see the other side of the coin. Get over it!

    You should be desirous for change.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    DOC: The problem with that statement is that this OP says he has a wife and responsibilities. That suggests he is not a "child"

    Anyone with a parent is still a chlid. Also, holding on to anger and resentment knows no age limits.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    TDS: This post had nothing to do with me, I wrote it for whinny people like who who get all hurt when people won't talk to them, to see the other side of the coin. Get over it!

    Really?

    That's just mean.

    You nailed the "other side of the coin" really well: a self-centered complainer completely lacking in empathy; a person that won't take any responsibility, shifts blame and just can't get over it themselves.

    Maybe that explains why my children continue to shun me.

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    As a parent, this is a tough one. Had I know TTATT earlier, things may have turned out differently, perhaps. Would they have been better, or worse, that is the mystery.

    Had I expressed my feelings about "da troof" too early, I could have been DF'd, Divorced, lost custody of my child, ect. This would have removed me as the influence I have become. Now, the passage of time is proving that I am correct about the corruption in the WTBTS. I have also had years with my child, time spent nurturing the power of critical thinking.

    Things don't always go as we would like, or as we have planned. How will it all work out?? I don't know.

    DD

  • Monsieur
    Monsieur
    Da troof...ur hilarious dd.
  • fiddler
    fiddler

    I have four kids and one is still JW and the very few times she has communicated to me via text message her tone has had a similar arrogance to it. My other three all left the religion around the time I did and when I have apologized to them for raising them JW they just say "no mom, you did the best you could and you're a great mom".

    Four kids all raised the same and yet one can't forgive...the 'Christian' one.

    Yes, thankyou JW religion for poisoning it's people with fear, guilt, hate...

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