Armageddon has arrived (page 2)

Mum

Why do they want you back, and not the rest of us? I know you're special, but I thought I was, too. :-( I thought most of us here were so special.

Maybe I'll get my e-mail next week.....

jayhawk1

Mum,
Ranchette and I can put you in touch with a great JW that will put you in your place. This JW's page is included in my signature.

JWs are morons.

"Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

Here is the page of the dumbest Jehovah's Witness I have ever seen.
http://hometown.aol.com/onjehovahside/

Kent

I just sent him this answer:

You have heard about JWs being ridiculed, Donald - and you know what? Read your own email, and you SHOULD be able to understand why!

AS for your threats about me being destructed in your laughable Armageddon, tell your pathetic joke of a god to go fuck himself, OK? The only thing he will get if he comes near me, is the sensational feeling of my combat-boots sinking into his fat ass!

Laughing myself silly

OhHappyDay

Oh you are so BAD Kent!

Can't you see that you frightened the poor guy?? :)))

Happy Day!!

wannahelp

Kent,

<sniffle, sniffle>.. I got choked up when I read that loving message to you by the people of god.. Kinda makes ya wanna puke, doesn't it <G>

Sirona

Ranchette

I hate religion because every one of them use these tactics to motivate people!

Not EVERY religion does this, some do.

Kent:
As this dub typed, he imagined you running back to the KH with tears in your eyes saying "thank you so much for your letter...I was wrong and you were right"....how strange and utterly sad.

Sirona

Ranchette

Sirona,

You may be right but most of the ones I've seen so far(Christian,ones especicialy) have a catch to them.
You have to believe and behave in the way they say in order to have
god's aproval and use fear ang guilt to motivate people.

I know there are belief systems out there that aren't like this.
I guesss I should have said that religion has a revolting effect on me at this point in my life.

Ranchette

DIM

nothing like some good old mental manipulation in this true religion. make sure the thought police don't get ya!

MacHislopp

Hello Kent,

can you tell me if you've received

the km/ November 2001?

Thanks and greetings, J.C.MacHislopp

" One who has an accurate knowledge
of God's Word will have no problem
in refuting false religious ideas".

Englishman

Kent,

You are a typical apostate. Indeed Armageddon has come and gone, this was several months ago, but you missed it. One poster - Duncan - didn't miss it, and here are his comments brought to you in technicolour and stereophonic sound. OK, I lied, here's what he wrote about how Armageddon has been and gone:

This weekend was Christmas Shopping for myself and Mrs Duncan. We spent the day in crowded shops, fighting our way through the press of bodies, securing this years must-have toys and gadgets for our kids.

At one point, we split up, I needed to go to the cash machine to get some money. I walked to the end of the street where the bank was. Of course, the week before Christmas, there was a big long queue. My heart sank, but I settled down for a longish wait.

The line moved slowly. Step by step I got closer. At last, I was only second-in-line. But the chap in front seemed to be having some trouble.

“Oh bugger!”

“What is it, mate?” I said.

“I think the machine has run out of cash”

Typical! Still, not unexpected this time of year, I suppose.

Behind me a voice called out “Hey, what’s the hold up?”

“No money!” said the chap in front.

“What?”

“ NO MONEY!” he shouted back.

This caused a stir.

“You hear that? There’s no money! NO MONEY!”

People started pushing and shoving. A fight broke out. People were shouting.

“There’s NO MONEY!! Our cards are worthless! The system has collapsed! It’s ALL OVER!”

There were now people fighting and rolling around in the street. Blood everywhere.

Next thing I knew there was a tremendous sound of smashing glass, as two people came through a shop window, gouging and biting at each other. A car went out of control and ploughed into a group of people who had also stated fighting. Everywhere people were screaming that their money was worthless.

A woman appeared at an upstairs window and started throwing her gold and silver into the streets.

The sky suddenly filled with lightning, and the buildings all around seemed to simultaneously burst into flames. More vehicles in the street went out of control, and then suddenly a great fissure opened in the ground and people and children and dogs and ladies on bicycles and 50’s –style American cars started falling into it.

I noticed that some people near me fell to the ground as their eyes started rotting in their sockets, I could just about hear what they were saying, it was truly pitiful, their anguish:

“Why , oh, WHY didn’t we listen to Jehovah’s Witnesses when they called? We were too proud and wicked!”

Another chap further down the street was calling out. He has a serious head wound from some sharp implement – and he also had the eye-rotting thing. His teeth, though, looked fine. I could see he was gnashing them, so it was a bit difficult to make out what he was saying, but it sounded like:

“ I was too stiff-necked to listen to the message! I always knew Christmas was a Babylonish false religious festival, but I allowed my wickedness to blind me to the truth! Oh, for a Watchtower!”

This astonishing scene of devastation was playing itself out in front of me, and I had just about counted a thousand at my left hand and ten thousand at my right hand who had perished, when all of a sudden, the fellow who had been at the front of the queue said:

“Oh, no - wait a minute! I was keying in the wrong PIN number. It’s perfectly okay, after all!”

The skies cleared and the fighting died down. People’s eyes seemed to clear up and various groups of folk were standing up and brushing each other’s clothing off. People were smiling and wishing each other Merry Christmas.

The line reformed and we stood around watching the arrival of the emergency services moving in to deal with the casualties.

I got my cash and rejoined my wife, and we went to the carol service at our local church.

Wonderful! Where is that guy?

Englishman.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

Armageddon has arrived

Share this