And the shortest I ever heard : at Twickenham, Ernie BEAVOR (sp?) invited for the concluding prayer, just shouting THANK YOU JEHOVAH, and that was all, the audience burst into applause. That was in the last 70ies, he was quite old and I believe he was never invited again.
The longest prayer ever ...
by Vivamus 36 Replies latest jw friends
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nvrgnbk
These are great stories.
I used to think that something bad was going to happen to me if I opened my eyes during the prayer...till I did it one day and nothing happened.
LOL!
And I was shocked to see that alot of others had their eyes open too.
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jaguarbass
I heard some long ones. Some people really love Jehober and all the suffering and pain he allows.
They spin it around and give thanks for it. It's bizzare.
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Leolaia
I have my own recording of Leo Greenlees giving the final prayer at some boooooooooring assembly in the '80s....Lemme see if I can find it on my computer....ah, here it is....
"Loving father Jehovah God, we certainly have had a great privilege to be here, a part of your great family of sons and daughters all over this world, the family that appreciates so much your kindly paternal king, your love to us, the fact that you love us so much that you grant us work to do, and you have appointed your own son Jesus Christ as our leader and commander in that work. So please may we always highly esteem the things that you give us to do, more eminently, lead on to more marvelous things in the future, and that even now you give us a grand spiritual paradise, which is really not even understood by people around us in this world, and you add to that the hope of the grand paradise in the future when this earth will be clothed with beauty and we will have nothing but praises for you, the Great Creator. So we realize too that as we have all these blessings from you it is because you have called us out of the darkness and you have called us into your brilliant light, so that we may be equipped and qualified to declare aboard your excellences, the promises of your kingdom, the wonderful future that we have in store, all because you are going to rise up to vindicate your name......
Ugh, I could go on with this, but I'm feeling just too nauseous to continue.... :(
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Maddie
I have heard some prayers that seem to go on forever and once forgot myself and said "Amen" before the prayer had finished. I was so embarrassed and wished the ground would open up and swallow me. Afterwards I laughed about it with a couple of sisters but I got some very stern looks from others. I think I was probably "marked" from that time on as a possible trouble maker
Maddie
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Gringa
The longest prayer I ever suffered was at a Pasadena assembly..I think it was in the 60s.
Knorr closed it out with a prayer that went on for like, well, forever (15 minutes, at least). As I looked left and right, everybody was shifting their feet, and the kids were getting cranky.
Boy, did we all hit the exits as soon as the Amen was said. LOL
I, too, was there. A kid, I was. The Rose Bowl - it was probably around 64 - 65 ish? I will never forget it - it was horrible. sitting there all day, I was so thankful it was time for the closing prayer - YEH!!!!! WE WERE OUT OF THERE!!!! Nope, I swear it was longer than 15 minutes - my poor little neck got stiff from bowing so long - I was peeking around at everyone....... It is one of the worse memories I have attending a meeting or assembly.
and I swear our congregation ALWAYS went overtime in ALL the meetings - especially the WS study on Sunday - we where always there forever - we even had a congregation coming in after us and they all would be out in front standing there waiting for us to be over and the cars had no where to park - MY GOD! I HATED THAT!!!!!
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WTWizard
Those two-hour prayers at the ends of the Grand Boasting Sessions are nothing more than post-hypnotic suggestions. They rehash the program and everything that went on therein. As if that wasn't going to happen the next Circus Meeting.
What I would like to see is having everyone walk out once the prayer hits the two minute mark. Have someone set a countdown alarm for two minutes, which starts when the person saying the prayer says the word "Jehovah" after the final Kingdumb Malady. When the time is up, the watch will beep and that will be a signal for everyone in the auditorium to walk out. If that happens in an orderly fashion, everyone will be gone quietly and quickly in another two minutes. After that, whatever the person says will fall on an empty auditorium. No one will be guilted into serving as pioneers or throwing away that Led Zeppelin if they babble on about it after the audience has walked out.
I bet there would be a part in the insert the following May about this. They will tell everyone that they must stay standing at attention until the final "Amen", whenever that might happen. If that happens again, repeat the watch alarm where people will quietly walk out once the two minute alarm goes off. If the hounders try to stop people from walking out during the prayer, that will be good for a "Next time, we won't even be here at all", no matter what the "Quiet" sign says. Then the people would simply not show up. If there is zero in attendance, they can pray all damn year and affect no one but themselves with that waste of time.
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averyniceguy
I do remember the longest prayer, but I do not know how long it was, but it was so looooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnng! I was a little boy back then in 1976(I think), Lyman Swingle(deceased Governing Body Member) gave the concluding prayer on the last day of the convention in New Orleans. My mom told me that I can go to the bathroom after the prayer, but when the prayer went wayyyyyyyyyy tooooooo loooooooooong, I begged my Mom to let me go, but she would not let me til the prayer was over, when he said Amen, I went to the bathroom right away! Thank goodness, I am out!
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LouBelle
my uncle used to give looooooooooooooong prayers and every second word was Jehovah. It was a standing joke amongst us cousins - I used to get the giggles every time - to the point of walking out on a few occassions 'cos I would have exploded.
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aligot ripounsous
every second word was Jehovah
When you hear that sort of prayer, you can tell for sure that the speaker tries to sound as if he were in a warm close relationship with Jehovah but, as an actual fact, has little to say.
Edit : Sorry LouBelle for this undiplomatic remark, hope you don't take it badly.