Yay! first post ever!! (page 3)

Welcome Matilda!!!! Yipes having a creepy Uncle in the basement gives me nightmares just thinking about it. I have to leave for a few days but this is going to haunt me. Get a good lock on your bedroom door.

RollerDave

So Tildy is back in Cheese-istan, (westconsin) and I worry.

Her dad, my so-called brother called while she was here and made certain demand, I called him on his BS, and he said he had prepared a letter to give to me and the court....

I told him I had written HIM a letter, but wasn't sure whether to send it. But that it contains my heart and soul on this matter and is a heartfelt plea.

"throw it away" he replied without hesitation. "I don't want to hear what you have to say. After all that has happened, after all you have done to me, I'm afraid you are... You mean nothing to me anymore. I'm sorry to say it, but...." and he trailed off.

"no, I respect you for saying it to my face"

I know that some folks dislike long posts, so I am not putting the letter here, but I know that other folks seem to enjoy when I pour my heart into words so I could start a new topic and put it in, or I could PM it to anyone with an interest.

Just ask.

As for my offenses against my former brother? He listed three specific offenses.

Well, to start with, I filmed his wedding to the execrable HH some three years or so ago. I was unpaid, a volunteer, and treated like unwelcome baggage at the church.... I have not YET delivered those videos in any form, either edited or raw footage.

Why?

Well at first I had the intention of editing them together very nicely into a highly polished finished product. Perfectionism got me all tied up, I had to but a few different programs to find the best, had to mess with em to try to get them to do what I want, it just never turned out like I wanted. He'd call me and nag me, and this is around the time that HH began to sour on me.

So, as she tired of pretending to be all sweet and nice, the gloves came off and she bared her teeth. Around this time, I moved into this house and the entire contents of our apartment along with two garages of accumulated junk came here and took up residence in my basement. All my own home videos along with the raw footage of my brother selling his soul to HH got buried somewhere in the back.

So although unreasonable perfectionism started the delays, but the next year of delays were caused by my inability to get sufficient help sorting and tossing til I could get to the vidz.

Wheelchair? Remember? Anyways.

So, like a year ago I found the videos, and was gonna get them done, or even just release him the raw footage, but he was being such a prick, and his wife has been so awful to me, I have just sat on them out of spite. I figure they can just suck it.

So. Offense one, My bad. I'll take this one, my failing entirely and not completely for good reason either. They have cause to be a bit upset, but boo fricking hoo.

Offense number two that has cause my own flesh and blood to discard me? I extended Christian charity to a person he considered unworthy of such charity and was actively working to destroy.

His ex-wife, MoS; Tildy's mom.

He had convinced her to move down here to the Minneapolis/St Paul metro area from the far north rural are she lived in so she could "see Tildy whenever she wanted." Then he promptly turned on her with the complicity of a 'friend' of hers who was actually in league with him all along.

They capitalized on the fact that moving does not bring out the very best in folks, pushed a few buttons, got her situated in a place of their choosing, and set about stripping her of her dignity and cutting off all contact with her daughter.

They got her evicted, confiscated her meds, cel phone, address book, and a few other things, with held them They went through her address book calling everybody and smearing her to them, going so far as to yell at her elderly father for over forty minutes trying to get him to help have her committed.

The 'friend' claims to be a 'clinical psychologist,' Personally I think she is in need of one.

They did everything they could to get her to go off in public, but I saw they were trying to get her locked away in a mental hospital and worked with her to just stay calm and give them nothing.

This is about the time he started seeing me as an enemy. My home invasion was like a week after this and the person watching my house started about then, coming to a head about two months later. MoS went through a few months of borderline homelessness through the summer.

I wondered whether this had anything to do with the home invasion or the stalking, but they wound up being unrelated.

She finally called me as the summer was coming to a close and fall was getting under way saying 'I am on a sidewalk with all my stuff, the Sheriffs put me out, and the police are probably going to be called real soon. This was the direct handiwork of my brother Tofu, HH, DF, and this 'friend' and here I was being left with the choice of picking up the pieces or saying 'gee, hope that works out for you.'

What would Tildy have me do?

So I got in the truck, and went to get her. I extended myself to another human being in need and offered of myself as I feel Christ would have me do. What else could I do?

But see, Tofu was personally invested in her utter destruction, so my taking her in was some kind of personal affront to him.

So, number three?

Tildy had brought stuff here to her mom's and left it because they keep 'taking stuff away' at her place for non-compliance. She didn't trust them and wanted the stuff she cares about safe, and they told me 'what you are doing could be considered a change of residency' meaning they stupidly thought I was moving her out!

Like I would harbor a runaway!

So there you have it. the reasons I 'no longer matter' to him are wedding vidz that are my bad, and being charitable, and supportive of Tildy.

Court is in a week or so and he has filed a motion cutting off ALL contact between Tildy and her mom since Tildy's been 'on strike' and won't lift a finger for them anymore.

Well he can go to hell, and while he's there he can say bye bye to the snowball that has about as much chance as he does getting this motion ordered by any court.

He no longer matters to me.

RD

jgnat

Rollerdave says I'm abused, my dad says I'm manipulating and selfish, and I don't know what I am.

I'll give you a tip on fair fighting. Never attack the person, talk about the behavior. No-one has the right to put on you who you are as a human being. You know your heart best.

How a good parent would help a child grow and respond is to say something like, "When you did <such and such> this is what it did to our family" or something along that line. If your dad says a "you are" sentence again, try asking him, "What did I do?" "What can I do to make it better?". I can't promise it will work with an abusive parent, but I'm trying to give you a few options in a very limited situation.

I suggest also that you keep a diary (obviously away from home, maybe at school) and list every day something good that you were able to do, something great about your personality, a compiment someone paid. Anything positive at all to keep you going. You might enjoy some of these surveys:

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

http://www.coolquiz.com/quizzes/