Nic,
I understand why you feel that many are trying to pick and choose their own beliefs within Christianity. But the truth is there are only a few doctrines that most would consider essential to being a Christian. The rest of what is taught in most churches are their own doctrines that are unique to them or tradition of their church leaders.
I spent 25 years of my life trying to find the "right" or "true" Christian church and then it finally came to me that the answer was not in what church I attended or what doctrines I believed in but rather the answer came in the person of Jesus Christ.
At the time Jesus began his ministry, the Jews were under a heavy religious burden of the Pharisees. Jesus called them hypocrites and offspring of vipors because they were so concerned with judging who was/was not righteous in their eyes that they did not show love and mercy to anyone. To them, following every jot and letter of the law became thier God and they forgot why those laws were set into place to begin with. They were set into place, not because God ever intended anyone can follow them perfectly but simply to point to thier need for Christ.
Christ was anti organized religion if anyone was. He taught about a time when all people would worship in "spirit and truth" and not need to go to a certain place or follow a certain creed. No wonder the Pharisees wanted to get rid of him. They realized that if people went thru Christ to God, there would be no need for pharisees, or priests or reverends today for that matter.
Now, I am not saying there should not be people in teaching positions or authority in the churches. That is fine. But, if anyone tells you as a Chrisitan you HAVE to believe a certain doctrine of a particular church or follow their traditions otherwise Christ will not accept you, that man or woman is a liar and does not have Christ in them.
Being a Christian means to be a follower of Jesus Christ and his teachings and I believe that you should follow him as far as you personally understand his teachings. Because ultimately we will be judged not on doctrine but on how much love we showed to others. The Apostle Paul even said where we (Christians) disagreed on a matter, let love cover over any discrepancies.
So you see, it is not about doctrine at all and that is why you see so many differences of opinion. I hate to use the term "True Christian" for who am I to judge anyone?, but really a true one will exemplify Christ's love and humility and not be dogmatic in their views. For the bible itself states that the church will not be complete until Christ returns again and that is when we will all at the same time be brought up to complete knowlege of all the truth.
For now, Like Paul said "we see in a hazy mirror" meaning many things pertaining to scripture are unclear. And will be until Christ's second coming.
To sum up, it is love and mercy that identifies one with being a follower of Christ, not correct doctrine or bible interpretation.
Peace unto you, Lilly