December 16, 1977

by purplesofa 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Thirty years ago today I married. A man five years older than me, good looking and had a car and some money! I was barely 18.

    It was a small wedding at my parents house. Christmas was the theme. Only giving two weeks prior notice to my Mom, she did a splendid job. I was very money conscience. My flower bill was a little over thirty dollars and my whole wedding cake looked like the top of most wedding cakes! But there was lots of liquor and food!!!

    I was supposed to work that day as I just had started new job. I woke up and could not move. I mean it was like my back was paralyzed. So I called in sick!!! I did my own make-up and hair. Redoing my hair, till the third time was right.

    My mom came upstairs and said I could back out if I wanted to.......Now is the time, she said. And my stepdad came up and asked if there was anything he needed to know before I married. I said NO, I am not pregnant, We are in a hurry to marry so James can write me off as a tax deduction. But, I could not let it go at that, and had to spill the beans that James was in trouble for drugs and he would be going to court for it and possibly jail and there would probably be fines and I went on and on and my stepdad just looked at me and said....Well we won't tell your mother this!!!!

    My two best girlfriends were there..... and my sister was my maid of honor. We married in the living room in front of a lit fireplace with poinsettas on the mantle. The fireplace was going and all of us huddled in there, we almost died of heat stroke. I wore a green long skirt, my sis wore red....with pretty shiney off white tops. I lost a whole skirt size in two weeks and my mom had to take it in......what I would not give for that teeny tiny waist now.

    It was a big party afterwards and me and my husband finally realized we were supposed to be the first ones to leave. We went home as we were already living together.

    A terrible dust storm came through and dirt and dust stuck to all the shaving cream and crap that was on our car. And now our landlady knew we lied to her when we rented the place(telling her we were married) and gave us grief about that. We lived in a duplex and she would sometimes comment that she could here us having sex.

    We spent about three hours in line at the car wash before leaving to go to Blanchard Springs in NW Arkansas to go to a cave and look at batshit......That really is about all I remember about that trip.

    My new husband had to work the next day, Sunday so we had to come home!

    December 8, 1978 we had our first son.

    Twenty years ago this month my divorce was final!!!

    I still carry the same last name of the man that fathered my five kids. I have never remarried.

    I wonder if he remembers today would have been our thirty year anniversary.

    Asshole, he is still an asshole.

    purps

  • rache31
    rache31

    Purps, thanks for sharing your memory. Sounds like you're a strong woman. Have a wonderful night and do something to pamper yourself.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Asshole, he is still an asshole.

    Succinct and eloquent.

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    Sounds like he forgot the anniversary card and flowers. Maybe he's on his way to treat you to some fine dining. Has there been any communication at all?

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Communication????

    OH yeah, we have communicated!!!!! IN court over and over and over and over again.

    lol

    purps

  • shell69
    shell69

    Obviously was a huge event in your life and quite natural to remember today.

    Hugs to you. Keep strong.

    Shell

  • changeling
    changeling

    That was beautiful purps.

    (((((((((((((((purps))))))))))))))

    changeling

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    ((((((((((purps))))))))))

    I usually don't write anything in these threads but since I consider you such a close friend, I just wanted to say something that I've come to terms with lately. For the longest time I've HATED the jw and all the crap that stupid religion put me through. Whenever I'd think of it, I'd concentrate on the negative aspects and I'd usually end up feeling bad, mad, or otherwise emotional. But, then I read this little story about everything having a good and a bad side and I decided to test out this theory and see if it was true.

    I looked at my years in the cult and the education I gave up and the wives I lost and the other crap I went through thinking I was doing what was right, trying to find if there was a positive side, a silver lining in that mess. And there was. I had to go through some crap to get to where I am now, but I've received some wonderful things in exchange. Like the friends I've made here at JWD. And my writing dreams. I don't think I'd have even anywhere near the raw talent that I have if I hadn't gone through so many negative and simply strange experiences. Going out in field service helped me to overcome fear and giving talks in the school has helped me to be a better speaker.

    Don't get me wrong. I don't think the JW are harmless, but I do now see that everything has a brighter side. You've heard the cliche, what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. Think about that. Think of how capable you are now. You raised your kids and you stand up for yourself at work. You have an amazing drawing ability and you have an empathy and concern that you probably wouldn't have, at least at the level you do, if you wouldn't have gone through what you went through.

    I love you purps. You are one of the brightest spots here at JWD. Not the only one, but one of the brightest and I wouldn't be surprised to wake up one day and see your designs all over the place.

  • penny2
    penny2

    Sounds like you are better off without him, purps! It's easier being by yourself (well at least I think it is).

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    Im still looking for that silver lining from all that JW mess.

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