by Cheetos 60 Replies latest jw friends
WILMA- - Willie are you going to roast your chestnuts by the fire when we get home ?
WILLIE-- Are you kidding it's a disfellowshipping offence.
WILMA-- Willie are your nuts still frozen together?
WILLIE-- No I left them with the bowl of fruit on the sideboard.
WILMA--- It's just that if they were I could warm them up for you.
WILLIE-- Oh! I found them after all .Here nibble on this one.
ELDER HOUNDER--- See me Friday in front of a judicial committee, both of you.
That's not peppermint stick juice you moron! Can't you see I've been crying my eyes out all afternoon? You never pay any attention to me Willy! All you think about is field service so you can call on that house we went to this afternoon!
Now because of your tomfoolery we have to face a JC! It's all your fault.
Wilma leaves the room in a tearful rage ..
And don't forget all the small details you know we will want.
Wilma asks Willy, "What if we don't go to a Judicial committee? What could they do?"
Willy: "They will DF us."
Wilma: "So what? We both love Jehovah, but I am so sick of the elders thinking they are
Gods. God knows we are both good people."
Willy: "Are you taking too many valiums again, or sipping the egg nog?"
Wilma: "Look, that Janet is a slut. She wants to do you. You know you are going to tap that.
Then you are going to feel guilty and donate thousands at the hall. Why don't the both of us
tap it, and save the money for a cruise?"
Willy: "Go on"
Wilma: Janet can be your Christmas present, the cruise can be mine!
Wilma: "I don't know if that girl is into older ladies, but I am tired of holding
on to some WT-dictated rules for our sex life." (Wilma still doesn't know that
she is going through the change of life- many mood swings to come for awhile)
Willy cannot believe what he's hearing. He always thought he could be well-
behaved if Wilma would just "loosen up" the chastity belt.
Willy: "We can get her to do whatever we want if we drop that ecstacy in her
sportsbottle."
Wilma (on a mood swing): "Drugging a teenager. I can't believe you suggested that.
Forget the whole thing. I am cooperating with the elders."
Willy: "Think about the cruise. Where would you want to go?"
Wilma: "Yeah, a cruise does sound good. OK, but no drugs. She goes willingly,
or we find someone else. Also, I want to see if Brother Elder and his wife will join
us. You always liked Sister Elder, didn't you?"
Willy: "What? NO WAY. I am not into old ladies."
Wilma starts crying: "But I am an old lady."
Willy: "No, you are my old lady, that's different." (It's going to be a long day.)
Wilma, you really need to stop PMSing ... especially since you've gone through menopause already.
Wilma glares at Willy ....
Wilma shouts: "So I'm a dried up old woman now Willy? With your attitude, if I weren't supposed to show subjection to my husbandly owner I'd just .... [phone rings]
