What gave you the courage to say no more

by ILikeToThink 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    Tell him you no longer believe, and move on. He sounds like a carnival 'shill" - you know the guys trying to sell you a prize. The only prize you will get is a sur-prize. You lose all your freedom. Freedom of expression. You are joining the Collective. You will be assimilated. You will become a Borg drone.

    If this sounds fun, then knock yourself out. Kiss your freedom goodby, and hello control. He doesn't love you-he loves the Borg. Move on.

    PS welcome and enjoy Christmas while you can-you can kiss that goodbye too. Birthday? Hell no. Clinking glasses? Nope. Wind chimes? Nope. Apropriate medical care. No chance. Fun Thursday nights-sleeping in on Saturday-fuhgedaboudit.

  • Locutus of Borg
    Locutus of Borg

    Belbab beat me to it. He nails it in his post above . . good points by worldtraveler also . .

    If you do this thing you will be miserable and it WILL divide you in the future. Better to say hasta la vista now before there are children involved.

    You are very fortunate to have the cognitive powers to see what it is BEFORE you get married and or baptised into the kult, that is what it is . . a kult. Many are not as fortunate as you and come to these realizations much later when there is a family to be torn asunder. And at that time your husband would be the martyr and you would be the evil bad person.

    Be thankful, and move on.

    Peace, out

    Oh!! Welcome to the forum, we have a pretty nice diverse group here!! Stick around and get to know us. We are here for you.

  • Marjorie
    Marjorie

    Welcome to the board ILikeToThink!

    4 years. Four years. And he claims to love you? Pffft.

    My advice is make is to make it as brief as possible. Ignore their cries for an extended explanation. The JW's are a cult and their main goal is to make converts, then control said converts for the rest of their lives. Don't give them a chance to whip out the Bible, because JW's are world masters at twisting scriptures to suit their own purposes. Saying that you have to try harder, it's your fault why this gibberish doesn't make sense. Yup, I too was a victim of all the guilt trips, the fear of divine retribution because I was rejecting 'God's organization' (censored), do it NOW because Armageddon is almost here. The sad fact is that I capitulated and wasted ten years of my life. You're a clever girl; you didn't get baptized. Good. Get away now while you still have your life intact.

    And what gave me the courage to say no more:

    When I refused to no longer deny the things that I had seen with my very own eyes, heard with my very own ears. Because I wanted a more personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ, with no ridiculous doctrines to get in my way. Because I finally realized that I could do better, that I deserved better. My family deserved better.

    You deserve better too. We all do.

  • llbh
    llbh

    In total agreement with Marjorie

    I joined to follow the women I loved. i left 8 years ago. Now it is difficult having a mate very much in When you have children further difficulties arise. If he really loved you he would accept you for who you are. Jgnat I believe has a JW hubby she gives good advice on this subject

    Be wise be careful

    regards llbh

  • My Struggle
    My Struggle

    God and prayer

  • Crafty Lady
    Crafty Lady

    Like to Think (Love your name)

    There were a lot of things I didn't agree with--the treatment of women and also the emphasis on meaningless dogma and doctrine were biggies.

    I think I've written it here before, but the straw that broke the camel's back was this: my sister got disfellowshipped for living with her boyfriend. I wouldn't talk to her even though it was killing me. Talk about being torn. Well, they got married and came into a restaurant where I was working. Her husband told me they were married and I said I couldn't talk to her because she was still disfellowshipped. I realized I could no longer say such stupid things that I really didn't believe. It wasn't long until I was out. She's still my best friend--I'm so glad she forgave me.

    Crafty Lady

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    I agree with Marjorie - don't get drawn into debates with them especially if you're not the debating type. Tell them that JWism isn't right for you and that's that. If he continues to demand that you articulate your reasons for not wanting to be a JW, then in my opinion he's a bully and you're better off without him.

    For a few years after I left the JW's, I worried about running into a certain very aggressive JW in my area who I am almost certain wouldn't hesitate to confront me about my Apostasy™. It's only recently that I've realized that I'm under no obligation to justify my having left to him or any other JW for that matter.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Getting baptized means handing your entire life over to the JW belief system. That means everything you believe, everytjing you do and everything you feel is controlled by a group of men with no training in family counseling, group management, of spiritual instruction other than what is dictated to them.

    Staying with him and NOT becoming a JW is also a recipe for stress that no marriage needs. It is hard enough to make a marriage work. Marrying a JW will not make life easier.

    If you haven't gone through The Best of... I'm married to or dating a JW yet I highly suggest reading all the threads . . . or as many as you can handle. The track record for this kind of life is appalling.

    He is unfair to be with you for a year before telling you about his desire to go back to the JWs. This is my pet peeve for those who go out and find a good person and then lower the boom and expect the person to join up or life will be miserable. They unfairly expect you to drop everything for their beliefs but hell will freeze over before they compromise on anything. That isn't a slur against your boyfriend. That is the control exerted by the Watchtower org.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    It's ironic. I use to believe in God until I started studying. Now I don't. That should tell you something!!!!

  • amused
    amused

    Please, make a stand for your own sake. If you give in and join him, they will continually whittle away at you until there is no more you left. Run my child, run, run away.

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