I'm back... and OFF of Paxil. But memory loss??

by Confucious 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  Confucious

  Hey friends...

  Been a long time since I've posted.

  Some of you will remember me.

  I still troll in from time to time.

  One interesting thing, I'm finally off of Paxil now. My depression was real bad after a bad experience at the borg. I was on about 40mg for about 5 years - which is a significante dossage.

  About a year ago, I started weaing off and six months ago I went completely off of it.

  I feel good and very refreshed. I feel like I've put most of this behind me.

  Anyway... now that my head is real clear - I think have some serious memory loss.

  I was a Regualar Pioneer for 10 years from about age 22 to 32. Left the WT at 32 and was on Paxil since then. I'm 38 now.

  Looking back, and it's kind of scary... but from age 23 to about age 29 or so - I've seemed to have loss all memory.

  I'll remember some events, but I can't recall dates and when they happened.

  And I can't structure it and put dates and events in order.

  It's very bizzare. It's almost like I didn't exist for a time period.

  I have a fantasic memory and can recall things way into my youth before the WT. I remember when I took vacations, where I went. Things that happened.

  But while pioneering - it seems that everything runs together or is not there. I can't place one event to the next.

  I'm sure it has something to do with the daily grind of being a JW.

  I mean it is what it is.. just strange and didn't know if anyone else here had a similar experience.

  Confucious
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  Elsewhere

  This is not at all uncommon after leaving the WTS. I know of several people, myself included, who has large chucks of time missing from memory.

  From time to time someone will say something, or something else will happen, that will trigger a flood of these memories to come back in one sudden burst.

  There are a lot of past events, people and places that I cannot remember. As an example I can barely remember grades 1 - 12 in school.
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  momzcrazy

  My sister and I also have memory loss from our teen years in particular. They were very traumatic, to say the least. Add to that the BS from the borg, and bingo! no memories. Enjoy your mental clarity, and don't worry about the memory loss. Your brain may be protecting you from feeling a forgotten pain.

  momz
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  snowbird

  Stress will cause memory loss, period.

  It was certainly stressful trying to keep up with the "chariot" of the WT organization.

  Sylvia
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  babygirl75

  With stress and traumatic issues, the medication itself can lead to memory loss. Having 8 rounds of chemo in '06 it completely fried my brain! It is so frustrating not be able to remember things!! Not only can I not remember things like I used to, but I also find it hard to concentrate and focus on things. It has has gotten some better this year, but still makes me ill...

  babygirl...
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  VoidEater

  I would say the years that are blocked were traumatic. Much of this can be recovered with a patience and therapy, if it's something that you think would be good to have back. It would seem a way of the psyche protecting you. I had snapshots of experiences and situations but lacked a lot of the "connecting memories" between events, it was like my mind would just slide away from come memories like they were teflon coated.
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  Confucious

  Thats not to say that I necessarily want those memories back, LOL.

  But it's just strange that it's like a block of my life that I just can't remember.
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  onacruse

  Confucious, I was on Prozac for a few years, and it was like a silver bullet. I can't say that I was ever as "happy" as during that time, except for when I was still a "true believer," young, and had the whole world ahead of me.

  After about 4 years, that "glow" wore off, and the doctor prescribed Paxil.

  That was one of the worst weeks of my life. I gave him what was left of the prescription (almost all of it), and told him that I'd never take that medication again. I know some other folks who have had similar negative experiences with Paxil.

  I'm by no means an expert in such matters, but based on my personal experience, I'd be strongly inclined to attribute your memory loss to some as yet unrecognized side-effect of the medication.

  Respects,

  Craig
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  davegod

  The mind can go into protection mode. Therepy is the best thing for that. One other thought, welcome to your late 30's:)
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  Maddie

  I don't know whether Paxil could cause memory loss, only that my husband has been taking it for 10 years and hasn't experienced it. The mind does sometimes block things off that are traumatic to us, and depression can cause poor memory.

  Just my thoughts but when we are believing JW's we are under mind control and have a cult personality. Its like being in the twilight zone or on a different planet apart from the rest of the human race.Perhaps the reason is that when our minds are freed from control we forget periods of time that the cult (false) personality was most dominant.

  Maddie