They make us feel like garbage.....but next year we have PLANS!!!

by Gill 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Gill

  Having spent last Friday evening with JW relatives, both husband and self have been a bit 'uncomfortable in our skins' today.

  I don't know why they ask us. They treat us as if we weren't there and there is a definite atmosphere that hangs heavily and I believe they only ask us just so they can ignore us. They have done this every year for the last twenty years and we have plans to make this one our last. Infact, we only said yes again this year because of a 'complicated reason' that I can't go into here.

  All relatives on my side are Elders and real fanatical types. There is a cousin with a son the same age as my sons and when they were all little boys they were great friends. It was horrible how this young JW ignored and would not speak to my sons. In fact it was very hurtful! The JW children kept away from our children. Sad really.

  Now my two boys, nearly 16, are really great lads. They're good lads, great looking, very intelligent, happy boys. We're constantly fighting off the young ladies who absolutely love them and they are real gentlemen. They don't do anything that anyone in their right minds would consider as wrong and all their school friends parents love them! They're just really great boys so there is no reason they should have been ignored so horribly.

  Turns out the young JW lad, was nursing a hang over from 'a few beers too many'! We heard this from his parents who seemed to think this was something to brag about! It just made me even crosser that they should treat my boys as garbage and just all ignore them!

  End of rant!

  Next year, December 1st we have an 8ft Christmas tree planned for our front bay! Any JW that dares darken our door step is likely to get it where the sun don't shine!

  End of rant and thanks for listening!!
• 

  Abandoned

  Rant all you want. Sometimes you need to. Good luck enduring that negative situation and then putting it behind you.
• 

  outnfree

  (((((Gill and family)))))
  
  Do it your way next year as you plan and you'll likely feel MUCH better! :)
• 

  Gill

  Thanks Abandoned and Outnfree!

  Sometimes you just get to the stage and a time when enough really is enough! If it wasn't for a 'small complication' this year would have been the year where a large christmas tree would have been put up and a definite signal gone out to all JWs in the area and relatives. They could have made their decision on whether to speak to us or not and we really would not have given tupence!

  My husband complained that he felt he needed a shower after being in the company of the JW relatives and really we both felt the same. They look at you as if you were already dead.....when really we were probably the only ones alive!

  Crazy, isn't it!

  As for my children, they will never be treated like that again!
• 

  llbh

  HI Gill

  I should not worry about your children to much. you may have done them a favour as they sure will not want to go in for any such judgemental and hypocritical claptrap.

  I took the family to bethel during the week with JW wife, we sat in car, and whilst there i met a brother from my old cong i had not seen for 10 years, he could not wait to get away. My 11y non JW son was not impressed..

  Kids are smart imo and they like to be loved. When people behave as your family they know what is right or wrong

  regards llbh
• 

  Scully

  How nice of them to include you in their ChristmasHoliday Family™ gathering, just so they can turn around and treat you like garbage, and then allow themselves to feel so bloody superior to you because you do not toe the JW line and they do (sort of).

  That's one reason why I can't be bothered with these kinds of things any more. I've got much better things to do with my time and my husband and children than to spend a minute with people who look down their noses at us because we no longer do JW things.

  Yeah, I'd be making plans too, if I were you. I'd be planning anything to substitute for that nonsense... like jumping in front of a moving bus, or sticking my face in a meat grinder, or getting trampled by wild buffalo if it would get me out of spending time with that lot. Seriously though, I'm not into torturing myself. They don't deserve our company, and everyone is much more comfortable by our absence. Why give them an opportunity to disrespect you and yours?
• 

  changeling

  Have a Merry Christmas next year darlin!

  changeling
• 

  flipper

  GILL- I too have been dissed and treated like dirt from my older witness siblings- so I do know how you feel ! That being said, it is annoying to see them self righteously diss your children while their own witness kid is getting wasted . Typical do as we say, not as we do stuff ! Hang in there sis ! You have a bunch of good friends here on JWD, remember ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  Gill

  llbh - You're right about the kids 'knowing'. JW behaviour is so abnormal on so many levels!

  Scully - Makes you wonder WHY they invite you, doesn't it! What is the purpose of it all. There is really nothing to talk about that 'can' be talked about and in many ways it is sad to see how you yourself used to be many years previously. Yet, you cannot wake them up unless they decide to or want to wake up. In the mean time, they get some kind of sick pleasure from looking down their noses at you! Well, all said and done, that was the very last time. I think the Christmas tree should 'seal the deal' next year!

  Changeling - We did have a nice Christmas.....JWs aside. We keep our Christmas trees upstairs in our bedrooms and whisk cards quickly out of sight when my parents turn up, as they always do, to 'check up' on us. They do this every christmas even though they don't bother the rest of the year. They come in and one turns right into one dining room, the other goes and checks in the sitting room.....funny really! But next year, they can park in our drive and see the tree in the window. Then they can make their own decisions as to whether to enter or stay away for good!

  Flipper - Thank you! I do feel amongst friends here and always very comfortable. It has sort of made me realise that i have not been any good at making new friends since leaving the dubbies five years ago now. My husband has gone out for a drink with some of his friends and I just realised I still had no one, or so I thought. But I came onto JWD and felt at home. It's been more difficult for me than my husband as I have battled agoraphobia and a break down and really my children and husband are my friends...and they really are. But on JWD it's easy to talk, and for a little while I felt lonely but not now! The board is a great comfort and I certainly never got any comfort or real friendship in all those years with supposed friends who were JWs.

  So!! A big thank you to everyone on the board. Life can be hard and complicated after leaving the WT but it only ever seems to get better......slowly but surely! THANK YOU!
• 

  anglise

  Hi Gill

  True JW love at its best!!!. You really dont need that anymore (esp with other halfs work problems).

  Hope you can find a way to "come out" for next xmas with tinsel and lights blazing.

  I think it is easy to overlook or forget just how much courage and time it takes to leave the JW's.

  There can be so many threads to untangle and a new way of life to learn (or maybe try and remember).

  Give yourselves a big pat on the back for coming this far.

  Meeting and making new friends takes time if anyone has a magic formula I would love to hear it.

  Take care Gill and Happy new year to all of you

  Anglise