by lonelysheep 26 Replies latest jw friends
I think this all could very well be a misunderstanding, they may not realize how far you have left the JW's, they still may assume you dont celebrate holidays, and for the most part, most "normal" ie."worldly" people have no clue or understanding of the JW lifestyle.
This is what I am banking on right now.
The JWs were always very, very taboo to us.
(((((((((((((lonelysheep)))))))))))))
Im sorry.
Do they understand you left now? I know my family & friends never know what the heck to do about my jw (adult convert). Do they address cards to all of us? gifts too? will he come? etc...etc...etc.... I know if and when he leaves the jw's they will all be so relieved and happy. Your family probably just doesn't know how to deal with you and to avoid conflict or disrespect to you they just opt for the easy way out, leaving you out of the picture. However, if you have caused your parents or grandparents pain or feeling like you threw them away when you joined, some may harbour some bad feelings. Let your family know you no longer are a jw and would have loved to come to the family gatherings. I'm sure they will welcome you with open arms or even pretend like nothing ever happened. Easter is not far off, try not to miss another family gathering. I wish you all the best.
I had always felt like the outcast, being the only one not involved in sports and the only one who was put down my entire life by everyone, while the others were backed by love and support from everyone.
This sounds like it could have come from me. I felt like an outcast before I was a JW. Joining the cult gave me a reason to stop feeling bad about being looked down on by my "worldly" family. It gave me an excuse to look down on them for a change. Now that I'm out of the cult I've attended some family Christmas dinners, etc. I still feel like an outcast. Other than DNA, we have nothing in common. We don't share any of the same viewpoints. Once the questions, "how's the job" and "how's the truck running" are answered, there's nothing left to say.
I don't think I'll bother going to any more of their get-togethers. Getting together only reminds me of how little we have in common. I wasn't planning to go this year, but I did, because I didn't want to be an asshole.
Maybe next year I'll make a Christmas dinner and invite some apostates over.
W
Maybe next year I'll make a Christmas dinner and invite some apostates over.
Not a bad idea, and something I thought about doing next year.
Getting together only reminds me of how little we have in common.
That's partly why I feel like I was purposely outed from the occassion. Unless they truly want me in their lives, it won't get any better. I've already done the unforgivable in their eyes. No freakin religion comes before family, EVER. Let alone one as backwards and f'ed up as the JW's.
I will definately be trying to revive the connections, ensuring they understand that I am out and where I am at now with regard to them. I'll see how things are next year, as some of you have suggested. In the meantime, I will post updates on any conversations with them.
I greatly appreciate all of your feedback on this-(((((every single one of you)))))!
~L
(((lonelysheep)))
This hits close to home. Without going through my entire life story, please know I understand what it's like trying to rebuild those bridges that the Witnesses encouraged us tear down.
Last Sunday I had to explain to some family why I shunned people at Christmas for so many years, but now participate. Heads are probably still spinning over the weirdness, but
they made an effort to understand, and for the first time felt comfortable to approach me with questions. They may not ever fully comprehend how I was raised in a cult and it was very
embarrassing to admit it, but progress was made, if just a little.
Please go talk or write to your grandma and let her know there was a "misunderstanding" this holiday and you look forward to seeing her and the family soon, if not at Easter then some
other family celebration like a birthday. I regret that I cannot do the same with my own Nana now.
I wish you the best, this is one of the toughest parts of leaving the WT mindset but it can maybe make those relationships we severed, stronger in the long run (I hope).
~Sue
Sue, the thought of admitting everything makes me nauseous! I can only imagine how that felt going through it. I certainly do admire your bravery and hope to have the opportunity with quite a few of my family.
It's hard to break down and spill the beans about that. I'm calling my grandmother tonight. Since Christmas, I've been depressed about it but am ready to bite the bullet and push forward with that part of my life, no matter what the outcome might be.
