5 stages

by Anti-Christ 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  Anti-Christ

  I was thinking about the different stages we go through when we start to find out the lies of the JW. I would like to know what you all think. I find they are similar to the stages someone might go through when they find out they are going to die soon. I know it it not quite the same but I think they are some similarities.

  1-Denial. I think this one is obvious

  2-Anger. Very obvious

  3-Bargaining. We sometimes bargain with our self trying to find a way to keep our friends and stay in contact with our family.

  4-Depression/sadness. Also obvious.

  5-Acceptance. The best stage.

  I know that we all experience things differently but I think there are some similarities.
• 

  dinah

  Good observation. I've thought often that the five stages of grief (over loss) is the exact process we all go through when our belief system dies. If you can work through stages 1-4, you will finally attain stage 5. I get stuck on the anger and depression parts, myself.

  When you realize they are just ordinary men making extraordinary claims, it's like the death of faith for some people. If it's not the death of your faith, at least it's the death of a belief system that is ingrained in you.

  It's good you posted that, it has been on my mind for a couple of years.
• 

  tika

  I think you are absolutely right. It is the process of grieving for a loss. Losing the core beliefs you were raised with is a huge one. My DH is in denial. I wish he'd move on to step 2. I think he would be much happier if he got rid of the chains that bind!
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  tooktheredpill

  I'm between stages 3 and 4. (bargaining and depression). I'm still in, just to keep my family, and feel stressed most of the time.

  I'll love to get to the 5th stage...

  TTRP
• 

  chappy

  The stages mirror the five stages of the dying process...just goes to show how devistating and depressing the experience can be.

  chappy
• 

  yknot

  I like to add a 6th stage.

  6. Figuring out what you really believe.
• 

  dogisgod

  And the 7th stage. You finally get it all together and then you die.
• 

  Anti-Christ

  Thank you all for the comments.

  When you realize they are just ordinary men making extraordinary claims, it's like the death of faith for some people. If it's not the death of your faith, at least it's the death of a belief system that is ingrained in you.

  That is what got me thinking about it. When you abandon a belief system that was in you since birth it's like some part of you dies. A lot of our personalities were intertwined with the belief system and in a way that part of our personality is dying and a new one is forming. I believe once you have accepted it you are totally free to know the real you.
• 

  Anti-Christ

  6. Figuring out what you really believe.

  That would be stage one of your "resurrection" to your real self.
• 

  Must obey!

  Yes I can relate to all those stages. I'm at the 5th stage now, thank goodness, and have finally found an acceptance and peace.

  But I would make the very first stage something called the "discovery/epiphany" stage. Denial comes immediately after it. Its when you finally give in to the temptation to research bigtime, spending countless hours unearthing all of the alternative information, digging up the lowdown on what is wrong with the organisation and many of its teachings & policies, until you get to a tipping point/point of no return, when something clicks in your head and the Watchtower's spell over you is finally broken for good.

  The "discovery" stage is when Logan discovers there is another world out there, beyond the city, and most of what he was led to believe was bollox, and he is at last mentally free..etc. There's heaps of examples in the movies, sci fi, etc.