I just posted this on another thread, but thought I'd give it its own. I hope some of the language is not offensive to anyone.
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HOLY SPIRIT CONVERSATIONS STOPPERS...
If someone asks why certain decisions are made in the congregation, perhaps you could say...
"Jehovah's Holy Spirit is "guding and directing" the body of elders."
If someone wonders why, for example, an elder was appointed who soon after was found to be a pedophile, you could say...
"When Jehovah's Spirt was "operative" upon the body of elders, this man was likely not a pedophile. He became such only after being appointed. Shouldn't we be thankful that Jehovah has now caused this issue to come to the fore?"
If someone says, "Hey, I wasn't going to say anything, but when I was a kid, this guy molested me too--and that was 20 years ago!" you might try this one...
"Well if that is so, you should have informed the elders. In not doing so, you were acting out of harmony with Jehovah's Holy Spirit, which eventually righted the wrong anyway. While you no doubt feel victimized by the forced sodomy you were subjected to, have you ever stopped to think about what you personally may have done to cause this situation?"
If he then says, "What I MAY HAVE DONE??? I was six years old! This wasn't my fault, you asshole!" you might pull this one out on him...
"It's easy to point the finger of accusation at others. Remember how Adam tried to deflect attention for having eaten the forbidden fruit by blaming Eve? Rather than minimizing your own actions, you're invited to give prayerful consideration to how tight those little pants were that you used to wear. Don't shake your head at me, brother, because I remember them. And while this man's ass raping you cannot be excused, ask yourself, "Did my snug polyester slacks and the resulting naughty bulges contribute to it all?" And, by the way, if you swear at me again, I'm gathering together a Judicial Committee."
If he then throws up his hands apologetically and says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Seriously, I'm sorry. But can we get back to my question? How was this guy appointed an elder by Holy Spirit if he's been a pedophile for at least 20 years?" you could let this one rip...
"If it doesn't come out in the wash, it'll come out in the rinse."
If he then looks astonished and says, "What in the hell is that supposed to mean?!" you need to put on a smug, wise facial expression and say...
"Jehovah will right matters in His own due time, according to His purposes. And by the way, you swore at me again."
If he says, "Look please don't have me shunned, I'm sorry! I'm just trying to understand how the Almighty creator of the universe allowed this guy to molest little kids for at least twenty years, and how stopping him earlier wasn't "according to His purposes"?!" you should look disappointed and reach for your cell phone, saying in a condescending, sing-song fashion...
"Looks like some little tight-pantsed boy wants to challenge Jehovah's channel of communication. Hmm. Might hafta make a little telephone cally wally. Bad little boy might have to get a little spanky spanky..."
Ordinarily this will bring an end to any further difficult questioning. If he persists, call together a committee, investigating allegations that he's an apostate.