I wouldn't communicate with her anymore. She sounds unstable. Just ignore her. Hopefully your husband ignores her, too. I had a girl that I dated 8 years ago email me sometime last year and my wife gave me hell about it, like I was talking to her or something. Hell, I forgot all about her! It wasn't even anything bad or graphic, she just asked me how I was doing... But, a solid year later, that email is a favorite conversation topic for my wife. I just emailed her back and informed her that I was married and I asked her not to contact me again. So far, she hasn't bothered me. It's that simple.
I cannot believe how brazen some people can be
by unbeliever 30 Replies latest jw friends
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mentalclearness
I wouldn't write an email. That will just make the whole drama continue. Sounds like your guy did the right thing.
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unbeliever
Satanus,
They did not have a nasty breakup and they keep in touch with a lot of the same people from college. The whole college gang tries to meet up every two years and they all keep in touch mostly via email.
Katiekitten,
My BF is thinking along the same lines you are. He told me from reading her letter she is only remembering the good times.
I have decided not to contact her because I don't want to bring any drama into our lives. I know we will be hearing from her again. No one writes a 17 page letter and accepts a 2 line e-mail.
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ButtLight
I guess Im the only one that would reply.....Both me and my Bf, get along with our ex's. But if one of them stepped over the line like that, I wouldnt be able to hold back. But thats just me. I have no tolerance for people like that! But I guess the right advice is to leave it alone.
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primitivegenius
this woman has some issues...... you always hope against reality dont ya............. yeah maybe there is a break up but you move on and the next person you date and or marry......... just isnt mr perfect......... but neither was the first one......... just now is viewed through rose colored glasses....... and so she is obsessing about all the good fun times she had with him.
she has a point that your not married...... she is grasping at that straw as a sign that he dosent love you the way he loved her or you would be married......... id put a nail in that coffin and do the deed.
this woman obviously has something going on....... could be simple as remembering the past and longing for something good again.............. or she could be a total whack job........... if you poke a sleeping lion.......... you could totally get a bunny boiler psyco crazy biatch out of it.
she could take it that you read the letter and MADE HIM write back to her and that he really would love her but your FORCEING them to stay apart.......... so she could go nutz and become a PHYISICAL threat rather than just someone reminecing and wishing for something that dosent exist anymore.
might be good for bf to cut off all contact with her and to limit his contact with mutual friends for a while.
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unbeliever
she has a point that your not married...... she is grasping at that straw as a sign that he dosent love you the way he loved her or you would be married......... id put a nail in that coffin and do the deed.
I am not going to get married in the hope she will back off. I honestly don't see the point of marriage. We are as close to being married as anyone could be. The only difference is we don't have that peice of government paper.
might be good for bf to cut off all contact with her and to limit his contact with mutual friends for a while.
He is going to cut off all contact with her. Mutual friends not so easy. One of those mutual friends is his best friend and our sons godfather. I am hoping she leaves them out if it.
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lonelysheep
I'm not denying that the chick is likely out there.
Still......
Do you know what he's said & how in his communications with her over the years?
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unbeliever
Do you know what he's said & how in his communications with her over the years?
He says they stayed friends after the break up and he would see her e/o year and communicate via email every few months. He swears he never crossed the line with her. He communicated with her more than their other mutual friends with the exception of his best friend who he would see all the time. She wanted to remind him of the great love they shared and wrote in great detail of their time together at university. According to her they are soulmates destined for each other. She wrote nothing that implies anything happened romantically between them after the break up. Only how she has pined away for him all these years and if he has been doing the same. Truly very disturbing since they broke up so long ago.
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LouBelle
You get 2 types of selfish - healthy and unhealthy - the unhealthy types don't really care who they hurt as long as they get to feel good - this chick is one of those - just because she wants to feel better about herself and just because she wants something she's decided to butt into your lives - very unhealthy!!!!
why even bother / why give her that satisfaction? Is it important that you contact her? what would you say?
You are secure in your relationship and that's that!
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joannadandy
Can you imagine someone actually pulling a stunt like this. We're a family and have a child and she thinks she has a right to do something like that. I wonder if she is mentally ill or something. Only someone with a few screws lose would do something like that and write the shit that she did. I think she would just die if she knew I read the letter. You think I should e-mail her and mock her and what she said?
She sounds selfish and loopy. She wants what she wants and thinks by laying it all out there she'll get it. Damn the consequences. Yeah -- that's crazy, I'm sorry.
I wouldn't e-mail her. It's related to you - but it doesn't involve you. You jumping in would only add fuel to the fire - but I totally understand the temptation to tell the loon off. Vent here, vent to your friends - but save yourself the drama of directly replying to her. This is something he is going to have to handle - and swiftly and decicively - she sounds crazy enough to hold on to any scrap of tenderness as a sign that he may have an interest.