Growing up in this crap doesnt give you much of a choice about leading a double life. Somehow I kinda tried to walk a tightrope. I would go out and do things that would be improper, then my conscience would whoop me. But, the girl they knew at the Kingdom Hall was NOT ME. It was part of me, but just the parts of me that would be considered "proper".
I've always been big-hearted and compassionate, but just wanted to have some fun. Of course, you are very confined as to what that fun can be when you are a Witness.