My Best friend (JW) wants to know why i won't return to KH

by freedomfighter 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • freedomfighter
    freedomfighter

    Hi Guy/Gals,

    Tezza and me have been friends since we were 4 Yrs old. We share a long history and were both raised in "The Truth".

    Recently, his sister, his sister-in-law and myself have left the org. ( All seperate situations).

    Anyway, next week he wants to go to the nearest pub with me, and shoot some pool, have some beers and a long chat.

    When he asks why am i not coming back. I will say "Because i personally do not think it is the Truth"

    What can i say or suggest to him to get him thinking with his own mind. ( He is not a straight up JW. Will, and has bent the rules when needed.)

    Should i direct him to silent lambs website or any other site? Is there a clever line of reasoning that i can use to get through to him?

    He still is my best friend and now i know "The Truth" is a farce, i want to let him know.

    Sincerely

    FF

  • blondie
    blondie

    Of course, saying it is not the truth could lead to a df'ing if you aren't already. I just tell them that it is hurtful for me to go and be treated cruelly by people who say they love God but can't show love to me. Most I know have been on the unloving end of the WTS. Abused wives leave their husbands, why shouldn't abused jws stay away from their abusers?

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    You learned there are lots of older people suffering the rest of their lives from unfulfilled potential. And you decided to fufill yours!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    More and more I yearn to reach out to people, to touch them where they live. When I manage to connect to someone else, heart to heart, there is no formula, no one way. Here's a suggestion, that will work with your friend's human nature. First of all, engage his curiosity. Tell him you don't want to stumble, your reasons are personal, but you are willing to share if he is prepared to hear what you have to say.

    Then wait.

    When he IS ready, share ONE reason. That reason might be the one that was the deal-breaker for you. If he knows you well, he'll understand. Or you can share the one reason that would mean the most to him.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    perhaps just suggest he read crisis of conscience - you don't have to say much then.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    perhaps just suggest he read crisis of conscience - you don't have to say much then.

    The Bible says you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
    The truth is not afraid of the lies. I read this book and recognized the truth
    it tells. Before you dismiss it as a lie, take a look at this book. Then we'll
    talk.

  • dawg
    dawg

    OTWO< that's a good reply.. but you can bring up 607BC thing, its cut in stone they're worng on that one. And it is how there arrive at 1914, their most important date.

  • feenx
    feenx

    Obviously each person is different, however if you think he may close up if you present doctrine issues or abuse issues or something like that, you could simply appeal to him as your friend. You've known each other your whole lives. He trusts you. Ask him to trust that you are doing what you feel is best. The bottom line is that at this time (no need to make things sound perm., that could turn him away) you feel it's not right for you to be active.

    I know that when I left it initially had nothing to do with it not being "the truth" or wrong dates or the amount of abuse. I hadn't even begun to dive into any of that yet. All that mattered to me was that I was unhappy, and if I was unhappy at that time in the organization, was I really going to be happy for eternity in the organization? I stepped away to try to be happy. Plain and simple.

    I think any life long friend, regardless of whether they feel the same way, can at least respect that. As a friend. And perhaps once he hears that, it will make him think, and at a later time you can share some of these other things that all JW's should know. Such as the dates and silentlambs and cover ups etc etc etc.

  • LtCmd.Lore
    LtCmd.Lore

    It completely depends on the person.

    If he is driven more by emotions, then silent lambs would probably be best.

    If he is more interested in prophecies, then 607 would probably be best.

    If he is more interested in JW related history, then the UN thing might be best.

    If he is more interested in science and reason, then talking to him about the global flood and other Bible stories might be best.

    But of course the best way to convince someone of something, is to tell him what convinced YOU.

    Lore - w.w.s.d?

  • senora
    senora

    The UN-NGO and Silent Lambs is what really started me thinking so I would share that discreetly.

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