by strawberry cake 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
let them see you are happy. Like momz says help them form relationships away from the truth. Children usually need friends
Try not to let some super spiritual person do a study either.
Me 23 son not in really 14 y daughter in and studies with a pioneer 11y son out wife in
Hope this helps
David
TJ: And you know what? Our kids are HAPPY, they are having FUN, they LOVE their new life, and they DON'T MISS THE MEETINGS.
Just let your kids be kids... let them live a "normal" life, be an active and concerned parent, but not a domineering controlling JW one.
You won't have to "prove" your stand to them. They'll see how much better it is, all on their own.
Momzcrazy: I recently faded with my 3 kids. Your 20 yr old I don't know about. But you could try with your other two: Let them slowly do more things at school. Clubs, sports, newspaper, etc. Gradually start allowing worldly friends. Do things as a family away from the truth. Go to concerts, plays, anything like that. Then slowly start tapering off service. Then meetings. Then parts and talks. Plan fun activites with maybe some neighbor friends on Sunday morning after you have started fading. I stressed to my kids how Jehovah gave us a mind to make decisions with and the Bible to guide us. But in the org. we aren't allowed to do so. I wanted us to make decisions as a family. I pointed out that all their worldly friends were going to die according to the truth. I asked them to find in the Bible where it says that they are wicked. Replace what they are losing by leaving.
From my experience, TJ and Momz have discovered the right idea. Children are very smart. I think most parents try to control their thinking too much (at least I was guilty of that as a JW)
When we tell them how we feel and then let them decide they are better off and they are more likely to come to you for advice when they need it. After children reach a certain age, they are going to do what they want to. It will either be with your knowledge or behind your back. They want your trust and if you show you trust them they are most likely to participate. When we left the WT, I learned to let my kids make their own decisions. They did not always make the right ones (the ones I would have liked) but they learned from their mistakes. (They were teens what can I say).
I just learned to give them to God. Since I could not protect them, I knew He could. The youngest is now almost 40 and even though they are not all living the way I would, they are happy and we have a good relationship.
Love and hugs,
Gramma Velta
I don't have any kids, I just wanted to welcome you to the board.
WELCOME !
BFD
If it's at all possible move away... Far far away.
They are all of the age to yearn for independence. Just for that, I wouldn't warn them away from the society. Sometimes teenagers, you know, will end up doing the opposite. Just to prove they can.
Rather, I suggest you do all you can to encourage their ability to make up their own minds. Even if temporarily it digs them deeper in to the society. As you continue to honor their choices, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE, you will have earned their eternal respect. This will pay dividends for years to come.
You can also use directed, or Socratic questioning to help them come to their own conclusions. Also ask them to put themselves in your shoes, or to consider how others might feel about a decision. This again, reinforces their ability to reason. It also counteracts the Watchtower programming.
Once reason is released from the bounds of the Watchtower, there's no stopping them!
Hi,
My mum always used to tell me when I was growing up "honesty is the best policy".
I didn't believe it was all the time when I was a child but now I do :)
Living a lie will put you through more pain that the pain of coming clean about how you feel.
Integrity is very liberating.
John 8:32 (New International Version)
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
All the best,
Stephen
TJ,
Praise the Lord, you are letting your kids me normal and happy. It doesn't mean they will get all immoral because all their friends aren't JW's. The JW mentality of outsiders makes me sick and stunts your kids' emotional growth. Just my opinion.
Welcome Strawberry cake (my favourite BTW)
As you know there is no switch!!
Maybe start to arrange fun things to do or just spend time with them and keep close to their feelings and thoughts.
Give them support for their feelings and views and let the course revolve whilst you show love and feeling and caring for who they are what they think and things they feel. Let them do things there way and offer your views when its wanted or appropriate.
Basically try to help them to be themselves even if it means continuing as they are but offer choices. Choices are the sectret to all humans discovering their own preferences and pathways! Cutting off choices gives no options and forces them to cut and paste someone elses system of thoughts and beliefs.
Keep up the choices whether large, small or subliminal and without it being oppressive!
Me 23 son not in really 14 y daughter in and studies with a pioneer 11y son out wife in
You have an 11 year old son that is married!?
Hold on. I get it. YOUR wife is in.
