Singledom - the peaks and troughs? (page 6)

wha happened?

Just under 10 years ago I separated and eventually divorced. It was rough at first and I changed congregations in a short time because the ex was still there. Division of friends, etc etc. I dated a bit under the radar as I wasn't divorced yet. I finally married in 2003. I'll gladly take a relationship or a marriage mate over single. I did the singles scene in the 80's and had a lot of fun, but been there done that.

AWAKE&WATCHING

I never felt so alone as I did when I was living with my husband for almost 5 years. His emotional distance was excrutiatingly painful. We had dated for 12 years and EVERYTHING completely changed when we got married. By the time I left 5 months ago I had already done my grieving.

Now he calls me and wants to chat, acting more like the man I dated then the stranger I was married to. I don't even try to figure that out, I talk to him like a friend and move on at the end of the phone call.

Even though it's been only a few months since we separated, I feel like I have been alone for over 5 years and I am more than ready to move on. I like my alone time, I just don't like it to be my only choice. I've been hit on and asked out in real life but can't seem to get interested in anyone so far.

I want to be with someone that "gets me" and to me that means an understanding of the cult. That may be narrowing the field a bit and I may feel differently down the road.

I absolutely miss the sex. I'm not into casual sex because I believe the emotional closeness is of utmost importance. I have no interest in being in a relationship just to be in a relationship.

The best part about being single is that I can do anything I want, anytime I want, with anyone I want. It's not all it's cracked up to be. The worst part about singledom is that there is nobody that cares what I do, when I do do it, or who I do it with.

I am busy with my family and I have lots of friends. It's not the same as having someone to come home to that is happy to see you. I miss cuddling, laughing at private jokes and thinking in terms of "we", rather than I.

I posted a thread about my daughter having problems with her pregnancy and how weird it was not to pray. The other thing that was weird was not making the call to the man I just spent 17 years with.

I would like to have someone to share the ups and downs of life with. I believe someday I will, but for now I'm getting to know myself better.

bisous

A&W - I can't count how many people have told me about that same experience throughout my life (drastic change of mate following marriage). Kind of makes one reticent to consider marriage ... although personally I don't see the need for marriage at all any more. If anything, it provides a good reason to stay lovers ... maybe that keeps partners on their toes? dunno ...

5go

Have I seen 40 year old virgin hell yeah! I don't feel so bad now I am only 28. BTW the virgin pretty much is me. Except I don't have a half million dollars in toys yet.

Crumpet

Oh Oh! I want to be your "Grocery Delivery Guy," I could bend over slowly to put each item away in the fridge so that you could examine my cute, hard, tight, dimpled butt! lol!

LOL - is my grocery delivery guy supposed to be actually unpacking in to my fridge then???!!

A&W - I agree there is nothing like the loneliness within a relationship, at least if you are single you feel you have a measure of control over that.

Finally-Free

I hear what R.Crusoe's saying. I had plenty of women before I was a JW. Married for 16 years while a JW. My marriage ended 4 years ago, and I haven't dated anyone since then. No desire to any more. It cost me too much financially, and one more such mistake and I'll be destitute when I retire in 15 years. It's not worth it to me.

W

Layla33

Wow, everyone, it is kind of sad that some people are resolving themselves to never enjoy the pleasures of sex, companionship and those that want to remain a virgin . Enjoy life, meet people, enjoy one another. There are so many different types of people in the world to get to know, that's the fun part. Just don't give up, because we do create our own realities.

seawolf

I have no fear of loneliness just depression because of it!

I couldn't have said it better myself. I've been single my entire life and, as I get older, this is what I worry about a lot.

JWdaughter

WAIT, I am married and I don't have the advantage of "monkey sex". PM me with a definition so I know if I am missing anything more than I already know about:)

When alone-I like that no one makes a mess after me, no one pees on the toilet seat, uses the last of something and doesn't tell me. But most of those issues are my KIDS not my husband, so that issue is moot.

When single I didn't have to listen to Pink Floyd till I wanted to barf. Or Bill O'Reilly, Star Trek (every incarnation-and complaints about every captain since Kirk).

I didn't have as big a family that I love, I didn't have all my kids or the dog. No one to make coffee for, no one to act amazed that I know how to make tuna casserole (the recipe is on the back of the noodle package people!!). I swear, I can make gourmet and they will like it, but I make tuna casserole and I think I am going to get lucky or something:)

When single I could go out and listen to Karaoke, go dancing, comedy clubs. I had friends. My husband doesn't socialize with anyone but family. I love both our families, but I like OTHER people too! Or. . .I remember I used to think there were some nice folks. . .

If I wanted to go to an apostofest when single-no one would put me down. My husband would make fun of meeting you guys, no matter what I called it. I still plan on doing so though!!

JWdaughter

Crumpet: What kind of work do you do that allows you to stay home for weeks at a time without leaving and have your groceries delivered and your windows washed? Cause I WANT that job!

Singledom - the peaks and troughs?

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