by atpeace 26 Replies latest jw experiences
There are so many stories with good morals.
If you tell your child the benefits of not rushing and burning out with the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, they can understand the moral of the story without actually believing the race took place.
Same with the value of inner beauty with The Ugly Duckling - these are great moral stories, yet you don't have to make them believe in talking animals. The stories speak for themselves.
Raise them to be good individuals. Instill in them the moral values you and your husband value. You don’t need religion to be a good person. As they grow older explain to them the concept of God, religion and faith; but tell them it’s their choice to choose what they want to do. Being active in a religion doesn’t always make things right. I say be active in your community, be active in school, be active in a sport, be active with your family, be active in whatever makes you a happy and complete individual.
Great advise! I consider myself a good person and feel comfortable raising my daughter to have the same moral values that I have. We discuss religion and I'm careful not to inflict my own ideas on her, we have tried several different churches and now she is wanting to learn more about budha which is cool with me as I tend toward that school of thought myself. As regards to God I told her he is as real as someone wants him to be. We discuss the afterlife and both have our own viewpoints. I have also taught her to show respect for other people's faith regardless of how she feels about it personally.
I don't know if it is proper etiquette for me to reply before having introduced myself, but I didn't see an introduction forum so forgive me if I am committing a board taboo by replying when nobody knows who I am. I've been a mother for almost 7 years now, and we've been out of the JW faith for (I think) the last 4. you know, it really isn't much different parenting with belief or without. I'm agnostic, for what it is worth. You're still guided by your love of your children and your hope to give them a world of opportunity along with a good solid foundation. The only difference is what you believe forms that solid foundation. My oldest at almost 7 is beginning to ask questions about death, how life on earth started, why people make vastly different choices (why her cousins can't celebrate holidays for example). It really has proven to be worlds easier (thus far) than I anticipated. I've become comfortable with the idea that I can not tell her the unknown truths of the world, because nobody truly knows. What resonates with her, is hers to find. So, really I only have to present information. So when she asked "mom, if babies come from the mom's tummy- how did the first mom come to be?" I asked her what she thought. She replied that perhaps another animal laid an egg and because of some anomaly a human was hatched. "Interest theory" I told her. And I went on to tell her briefly about evolution and a couple god theories. In other words, her interest and questions were completely satiated without giving her a theory as a concrete fact or truth. Though I was honest that I find truth in evolution. In other words, I don't feel like my lack of belief has been an issue at all in mothering. If anything, I feel my kids are really free to find their own truths from a young age which is a luxury I wish I'd been afforded as a child.
hmm... do we have to use html to format our posts? I'm not sure why it all ran in to one paragraph there... sorry about that!
I think that its much more important to raise your children to think for themselves and formulate their own beliefs. Any fool can teach a child a religion but the aim should be to nurture them to find their own way and respect them for it (even if it might conflict with your own beliefs).
Whether they be atheists or polytheist they are equally able to live good fulfilled lives if they are given strong social responsibility and the right moral compass.
I dont see why there has to be friction between the believers and non believers - does it matter?
G
Welcome AlyMC, glad you found your way here.
I left when my children were pretty young, they don't remember very much about being a JW.
As they were going up, 7+ on, they were occasionally invited with their friends in the neighborhood to join them at church or church funtions. I let them go if they wanted to. They didn't feel a need to go every time, or on a regular. At this time, I don't think I really knew what I believed, and when they asked I told them, my current feeling and why I felt that way.
My grandchildren have no religious beliefs, whatsoever. We talk openly about others beliefs and how we feel about them.
lisa
Please post your thoughts on this book (Raising Ethical Children). I am also very interested in this subject. To me there are 2 things that any organized religion provides:
1- "history", dogma and answers to all of the big questions of the universe and
2- an ethical framework
I don't care about giving my kid 1- I think that is arrogance to claim to have any of these answers and I am happy to listen to him wonder and question and use his imagination when exploring these questions. (What if there are parallel universes Dad?)
However, I do think that there is value in providing an ethical framework. The question is, whose framework and what is the process for teaching it.
Still working on these questions....
Were you thinking of a particular religion? You can get ethics from many places, religion does not have the monopoly on this. In many regards, it is behind the times. How about teaching kids that suffering is bad, and things that don't cause suffering shouldn't be judged so harshly.
So for you parents who have gone through a round of religion, and are now out of that, how do you 'inoculate' your children re religion?
We could tell them our stories and teach them the good qualitites that we want them to have, but the experience of it, how do you give them a feel for that?
Darkuncle--we can make up experiences. They don't need religions or religious books to read of any.
I only give and will give my kids real life experiences of myself and others who have told me of their experiences.
