Never Thought About Suicide. Why not? (page 2)

Nosferatu

I think the only thing that kept me going was knowing that Jehovah would fix everything, and that all those people would die at Armageddon.

It's pretty depressing thinking that the JW religion may actually have saved my life.

Abandoned, you may be quite right about the whole internalizing anger thing. I didn't hate myself for my situation. I did when I got older, and I constantly wondered why I was born into such a horrible situation. I really did hate myself at age 16-17.

So on the other end of things, the JW religion could have helped end my life, because this was a point where I wanted out, and I couldn't get out.

feenx

I've often considered the same thing in myself. I wonder what it is about me that somehow is different than the rest of family that has motivated to me to push away the religion and work towards healing myself. I believe as the others have said that part of it just who we are as people, we are all different. Some of us process things differently, and some of us have a higher threshold for pain. Still though the confusion with not seeing suicide as an answer, in spite of all these terrible things, when many people have taken that road before you, can be frustrating. I think the fact that my mother had multiple suicide attempts helped me to stay away from it. In her case it really only made things worse and caused more internal battle. And you're right, the help that she got in that environment was not everything she needed. Less leaning on "jehovah" and more/better therapy would've made a difference.

I think though it's awesome that you fought and now have a life with a family to show for it. Very impressive!

Abandoned

Abandoned, you may be quite right about the whole internalizing anger thing. I didn't hate myself for my situation. I did when I got older, and I constantly wondered why I was born into such a horrible situation. I really did hate myself at age 16-17.

I did the opposite. If someone would mistreat me, I'd blame myself. I finally learned to stand up for myself in the last few years or so, and now I've started therapy which I think is going to help me tie up some loose ends.

Hortensia

I think some folks just never look at suicide as an option. I never did, not even in the worst on times. I would just keep going forward, hoping that the awfulness would end sometime. I am stunned at the suffering so many of you had to suffer as kids. It makes me really sad. Somehow kids ought to be protected, but they aren't. When you combine a really bad family situation (in my case a dangerously violent alocholic father) with a twisted sick religious policy (the husband is the head and you have to obey him as you would god), the results can only be bad. When I came here I realized that many of you suffered even worse than I did. Oh, my, I wish I could do something for all of you.

5go

Yeah I always wonder about that myself in fact my mom confessed to me she thought about it herself. I alway have been an optimist it would be so sad to not see my dreams come true no matter how unlikely they are now.

R.Crusoe

I wonder about the extent to which a person is conditioned to experience, conflict, workload, responsibility, loss and perpetual judgement from close ones? If you have all five of these concurrently and to an extent they take on a permanent feature of your life with little else to relieve you or help you explore your own feelings, its little wonder some don't escape somehow.

And maybe it revolves around the extent to which the individual is an empath or a judging persona? One will self blame until barren at their core - at which time it is only left for them to search for reasons as to why which inevitably includes blaming situations and others at a point where it is too late to preserve their core! Maybe the other, more judging persona, will blame others to a degree that it strengthens or preserves part of their core! , My guess

Satans little helper

I had a similar upbringing, similar abuse and similar response. I did at one point evaluate suicide as an option but never considered it as a viable choice - there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel, for me this was knowing that at 18 I would be leaving home. I also approached the situation as a challenge, who would break first?

In the end I proved to be more resilient and got out of the situation at 18 and ended up getting DF'd; I guess it was my bloody mindedness and confidence in my own ability to eventually improve the situation that always ruled out suicide.

R.Crusoe

I don't believe it's a simple yes no thing we can judge anyone by for thinking or doing it! Just like some kids will die today of starvation and others will be born to billionnaires!

The fact is I think a lot of us have walked the line and for no good reason not fell off whilst others have.

For any life quality my being around has enabled others to have, I'm glad for them, but when I needed just a smile of support and someone just to stand by and let me know they know exactly who I am - sad results time and again! Too many not of dads ilk! Too many like *** - doubt first, gossip later! Makes me wish things that sound sour and vengeful but truly I don't hold vengeance at all - just sadness for all the times where doubt and manic stuff looked into my devoted eyes!

I've spent years of my life wishing I had followed dad to his grave - but that would be just from my selfish perspective of the lack of personal enjoyment of life I've had but even more because of the negative responses of others to the mountain of goodwill in my heart now burned down!

So in my heart I've purely stuck around for very little other than odd things I may have helped others along with- which again makes me wonder why!

Miata

I too was beat up at school and then at home. But in my case I actually attempted suicide on about 7 different occasions starting at the tender age of 7. Thats right seven. I finally "fixed" myself in my late 20's and it is no longer an option.

Frank.L

I hate this subject but this is really worth commenting on. I recently saw the movie The Bridge. It shocked the crap right outta me. In 2004 about 24 ppl used the Golden Gate Bridge in San Fran. to kill themselves. The director of this film captured the goings on of the GGB for a whole yr and included ppl jumping to their deaths in his documentary. Friends and family were interviewed and discussed the mental aguish and mental state these ppl were in at the time. I started to get a real sense that anyone could transform themselves into a depression and put themselves in a position where they cant recover. (Im not going to comment on the moral decisions of the director to include what he did in his film..or that the Bridge authority said he misrepresented himself ect..ect...) I think I have probably had the thought cross my mind in my life. But to actually give up on breathing ? What? That never crossed my mind. The one guy in the film named Gene is someone portrayed who has friends who have heard him say "Im going kill myself" over and over to the point that it became just "something Gene says"....this person is portrayed as someone too lazy to find a job, and so disconnected to everything that he pictures himself dead in ever sentence he says. He is later shown to climb on the guard rail, stand up erect and fall "gracefully" backwards. Another young man about 19 yrs old had jumped to his death but had changed his mind deciding he wanted to live. So while he was falling he was contemplating how he would survive. He says he tried to go in feet first. He went about 30-40 feet and could feel what he thought were sharks beneath him keeping him afloat when he was able to reach air. He later came to believe they were seals he felt under his feet helping him stay afloat! I gotta say its bad enough that we only live as short a time as we live. Suicide isnt an option. But I am left wondering how much good can mental health professionals do If someone is hell bent on suicide? It's such a touchy subject for good reason. Most ppl want to keep breathing until nature takes it course and yet since the late 1930's about 1,200 ppl have jumped off that bridge. At my last job an plant manager had driven past security first thing in the morning and as soon as he got out of his car he went to his trunk took out a shot gun and pointed it at his face.... I knew him from seeing him every other day or so. When i heard of what happened the first thing i thought was WHY? Why why why? Others called him a F***ing coward. I can t help but think anyone in that position is unrecoverable,- unimaginable mental distress until the thought of your loved ones missing you no longer is a valid reason to live. When this mans family did come back to the property they weren't crying out loud. His children were quiet. But no tears just quietly standing at the spot it happened. As if they expected it maybe..i dont know. (Incredibly Gene from the docu. had given up on searching for work but at about the same time he died he recieved a managerial job offer left on his answering machine!...) I dont know much about this subject and I hate this subject but its worth discussing. Thanks for asking the question.

Never Thought About Suicide. Why not?

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