do i tell her that jw granny is a "true christian" that is why she does not come to see you and wicked worldly granny cant keep away because she loves you loads, what the heckers do i say to her ????
what reason do you give your kids for why jw grandma dosnt come to visit?
by looloo 11 Replies latest social family
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Nosferatu
I don't know, and I'll probably have this problem eventually. I'll probably just tell him that JW Granny isn't very nice.
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momzcrazy
I tell them she is still mad at me for not being a Witness anymore.
momz
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Maddie
looloo - Its just an unnatural and cruel situation that my heart goes out to you and everyone in this situation. I may be in the situation where I am not allowed to see my grand child and I dread it. I suppose the kindest thing for the children is to be honest with them when they understand, but that it doesn't mean their grand parents don't love them.
Maddie
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zamora251978
I made up excuses. They didn't believe them so I told them the exact truth. It hurt at first but now its okay and they have learned to deal with it. They are 9 and 7. She watches them after school though just to help because i need it and the elders say its okay. two hours monday thru friday. we never are invited over on the weekend.
Lulu
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looloo
does that mean that the elders would have told her not to come and visit her own grandchild?
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zamora251978
They told my family not to even bother coming to my house. The only association would be the "necessary kind" like if im in need. that would include watching her grandchildren after school. I think she uses it as an excuse to see them. she has never step a foot in my house. She has been invited.
Lulu
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Paralipomenon
We just tell ours that Nana and Grampy are mad with mommy and daddy. Which is true. We had to let them know that it wasn't something they did.
Our 5 year old went up to my wife and meekly offered to give up Christmas to make nana and grampy happy again. But next Christmas, because this one was so close.
Poor little guy.
My biggest dilemma is how to handle things when they hit their teens. My parents would dearly love to see their grand kids, they just don't want to see their own children. So rather than my kids getting upset with me later on for "denying" them their grandparents, I plan to invite them over once a month for supper and keep a log. If my kids ever ask why I denied them, then I'll let the grandparents explain why they turned down years worth of invites to come over.
The kids love their grandparents so much, I'd just hate to see them conned into becoming a witness later in life in an attempt to win the affections of their estranged grandparents. -
Layla33
One thing I would NOT do is use the JW verbiage. Implying good or bad or anything of the like would confuse them and cause turmoil unnecessarily.
I would speak very honestly, short and to the point. "Grandma is in a religion where because we don't believe what she does, she can only love us from afar, but we wish her well and we will love her from afar, as well."
When she gets older and can cognitively handle it, be honest to the point and just love and encourage your children to be free and happy in their own lives regardless of religious views.
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Tara
I am sorry for all of you who have to experience this. It is so sad. I was the only JW in my family, and I guess I wasn't a very good one because I never stopped associating with them.
If the kids ask, I think you should tell them the truth in the kindest way possible, and in a way that is appropriate to their level of understanding. Like telling little ones the grandparents are mad at you and not them. Para, I like your idea about keeping a record of the invitations extended and not accepted, too.