by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends
If a Jehovah's Witness doesn't completely follow the party line, they are shunned, restricted, disciplined or outrightly rejected! A Witness cannot tell another Witness any contrary feeling. Big Brother will always be watching. If a JW breaks from the leadership in any way, they are history or at the very least forever watched.
I wonder how many still are JWs here. You might've gotten df'd or maybe faded......but do you still act and think like a Jehovah's Witness?
but do you still act and think like a Jehovah's Witness?
I can be a real idiot at times. Does that come close to a yes?
That's not a synonym---but close.
Do you still feel controlled? Nervous to say the wrong thing? Worry that you just mightnot gel with the "group"?
I don't know who I really am. I might be a figment of my own imagination.
I believe I was already "becomming" that person before I left...
Leaving was just the next step in that process. When I realized that I could not be "who I was" while remaining a jw, the fading process started, until I finally left. Every day, I make progress in being that person.
Jason
Fear is what keeps people in perpetual bondage. Always being afraid to offend somebody. Scared that you could piss someone off. Worrying that others might not like you and will be talking about you. If we still feel this way, we're still in the Organization's mindset. We'll never really grow. If we were elders and think that we still are, we've not grown. If we were the types of publishers that believed anything and everything told us, we have not grown. If we get emotional about everyone that says a negative thing about us, we have not grown.
I am trying very hard to be myself now and not a programmed drone . While I was a witness I always felt restricted at being myself .
I was raised a witness ,but always had the voice of my unbelieving father ringing in my ears ...."don't believe everything you read ' . As an adult I began to realize my unhappiness in life stemmed from the constant battle of listening to my own conscience in opposition to the Watchtower induced conscience . I read a book by Dr Phil called " Self Matters " , and it really helped me distinguish what I really felt and believed from the stuff I was programmed to accept . It is a continuing process to understand your authentic self .
I didn't start questioning until I was 44 yrs.old . Yes there is hope to still find who you really are !
At first I had to try on some different identities to see if they fit .....such as did I really want to smoke or not .....and the vote came out as NO I choose not to smoke based on my OWN decision .But if I also chose once in a while to smoke with a friend that is okay too . Do I want to go to bars and drink ....Yes I enjoy going out with my husband and friends and on occasion drinking enough to feel really silly , again MY choice on how often and how much . I have found I am very capable of making decisions on my own w/o the help of Elders or a publishing company . I love being nice and caring to others, and I am capable of deciding how and when to be so .
I am starting to like who I really am . We all should have found out alot of these things about ourselves way back in our teenage years ,but I figure it's never to late as long as your still breathing .
ok can we be who we woulda been.......... unfortunately NO is the answer.
can we become someone closer to whom we woulda been......... or can we change our lives to do what we want? the answer to that is HELL YES.
were we all twisted to some extent or another by that cult......... so that we will never completely be free of it...... im gonna say there is a very high likelyhood of that. dosent mean we cant become more than who we were, or that we cant live our dreams. just means that certain words will trigger jw flinches.
there is a christian song and the title escapes me........ damn good song... but in it he says "im so happy to be in the truth" and i cant listen to it.............. because of jw upbringing...... stupid yes......... can i help it.... no.
we are free of the shackles of brainwashing but the conditioning stays far longer than it should. we can choose to sleep around, we can choose to use mind altering drugs and alcohol, we can also choose to drive a 2 door car to college so we dont have to wash windows. we can listen to metallica or eminem and can give every single kingdum hell the finger as we drive by.
these are all starts to becomeing who we want to be....... or who we want to want to be. wheres our balance, we cant spend all our time hateing the gb otherwise we wont have time to LIVE our lives. if i choose to get a hobby or take up a profession the society bans...... its my decision, and consequently another step to who i really am.
in dealing with my jacka$$ jw family and how ive been slightly twisted by their selfrightous judgemental attitudes, and blatantly false teachings............... im gonna always be effected but its not gonna stop me from becomeing a me and living a life that i actually enjoy and like.
Unfortunatly not.
I lot of us are uneducated, socially retarded and cut off from our long term friends.
Hey, Mini:
Hopefully, we've all grown. ------------ I've grown a beard.
Is it all right to look like Vincent?
CoCo la Barbe
