Jesus Exaggerated a Lot (Hyperbole, Folks)

metatron

Next time you're at a Kingdom Hall, or during a Watchtower study,
or book study, make the following statement out loud:

"Jesus exaggerated a lot!"

Note the shocked looks, observe the silent pause while the self-
righteous quietly gasp! Nevertheless, IT'S TRUE!

Every scholar, including even the Watchtower Society admits that
Jesus used "HYPERBOLE" in his teachings.

If you look up "hyperbole" in the dictionary, it will inform you
that it means "extravagant exaggeration"

Imagine that! JESUS WAS AN 'EXTRAVAGANT EXAGGERATOR'! Amazing!

Now consider how this SIMPLE FACT could affect all sorts of
doctrines like:

Armageddon

Who gets salvation - and who doesn't

Hellfire (if you believe in that)

or the future of heaven and earth.

Now take this simple word "hyperbole"
and always carry it with you
and anytime you encounter a hard-line, self- righteous
Witness (or fundamentalist)
take your hyperbole out of its carrying case
and beat them on the head with it.

Thank You,

metatron (can you do that for me, please?)

unclebruce

Pathetic anti-christ retoric Metatron .. no scholarly references, no scriptural backup.

Was Jesus exagerating when he said he'd knock the Temple of Jerusalem down and build it back up in one day? NO! I don't think so! Just because some so no good raghead scribe said he just pushed some tables over and set the pidgeons free is no basis for doubting the Lord and saviour Jesus Christ! Just because Jesus said 'he who drinks my blood won't taste death' doesn't mean the disciples aren't alive somewhere in the caves of Judeah. Just because Jesus said you can move mountains with faith alone doesn't mean some true christians aren't running a stone quarry 150 miles South of Galaganbone with bibles instead of earth moving machinery .. geez you're thick!

unclebruce giving jesus a serve.

patio34

Dear Metatron and UncleBruce,
Excellent posts! At first I didn't catch on to UB's ideas. LOL!

Pat

Moxy

i would just like to complain about how tired i got of hearing this word pronounced 'hyperbowl.'

Julie

LOL@Moxy

unclebruce

i would just like to complain about how tired i got of hearing this word pronounced 'hyperbowl.'

wow moxy, so this is where we come to complain about grammar and stuff eh? Brilliant! I'd just like to complain about the way people avoid writing big words around here just because they aren't confident of thier spilling and the way some english fluent pedants nitpick the way people translate thier oral vocab to print, i'd like to complain about every low brow, self appointed, trumped up, know it all that thinks they have the right to slam someones ideas because it isn't written here to thier personal gramatical satisfaction .. then thiers the fact that my beard has grey patches and my moustash won't grow straight and don't even get me started on my tiny willy.

what the fark 'n 'el is this, prep-school?

unclehyperbull

Rex B13

Hey Unc,
Its too bad that no one ever taught you that the 'temple' he spoke of knocking down and rebuilding in three days refers to HIS BODY. He voluntarily let Himself be crucified then resurrected that very same body to it's glorified state.
Do you doubt my interpretation? Guess what, its all in scripture if you had only bothered to look.
Rex

unclebruce

G'day Rex,

As you are well aware, I have done much more than taking your superficial self serving look at scripture ;)

Just try answering the simple unanswered challenge I have been puting to Christians big and small for almost two years: please try to name one single thing original about christianity

unc, a promise keeper who'll be back for bro. Rex answer tommorrow.

edit: PS: while you're thinking Rex, how about explaining why it is fundies and biblenuts always wanna tell us 'what jesus really meant?' ( .. i know .. some things were hidden so the romans wouldn't twig Jesus and the Nazarines were hardline fundamentalist Jewish zealots working to oust Roman influence in Palestine.. that is your answer isn't it Rex? .. nah that was mine) It's all in the bible ya know .. if you'd just stop bothering God and take a look.

SixofNine

Jan. 1, 2002 ---- UncleBruce vs WrecksB13yrsOld ----- The Showdown @ the Hoedown ------- LasVegas NV, USA --------- Top Billing at Apostofest-West-------- That's right folks!!! Get Ready fooooooor...... THE SUPERBOLE of HYPERBOLE!!!

With apologies to Moxy. on second thought, strike that. No apologies needed, just pronounce superbowl, "superboly".

tdogg

Where do I get tickets!

Jesus Exaggerated a Lot (Hyperbole, Folks)

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