Hi all
This is my first post after many years of reading this site. I am from the West Midlands, England. I was raised as a JW and got baptised aged 17, started "fading" whilst at university when I started to broaden my outlook and realised that all the so-called "worldly people" I had for so long been encouraged to avoid associating with were actually often open-minded, honest, generous and loyal people. At age 30 I eventually stopped going to the meetings, met a lovely non-JW girl, moved away from my home town and got married. I haven't been for meetings since 2004, but haven't been df'd, as I felt that it was far better to "manage my own exit" by deciding on what terms I was going to leave. Fading away enabled my family not to have to chose whether to shun me or not, as all my family are JWs - my father is an elder, my brother is an elder, all my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents are all JWs - I am the "black sheep" of the family, but they haven't cut me off. They even all came to my wedding last year, which was great to see. They seem to have respected my freedom of choice and do not nag me, which I greatly appreciate.
I was not so lucky with my so-called JW friends, unfortunately - nearly all of them cut me off. The past few years have been hard as I have been left with virtually no friends as nearly all my friends were JWs. I have at times felt guilty, at times lonely, at times angry, at times sad, at times incredibly bitter. But the main reason for posting this is to say thank you to all on this website forum whose comments I have drawn strength and encouragement from over the past few years. I have been reading this site for years and years and have never actually joined. Today I have joined, though regrettably I feel obliged to do it anonymously in case anyone identifies me who's still in the faith.
So, once again, thank you all for your comments and postings which have made me feel less like a "leper" than I did before. My guilt of leaving, so deep-ingrained guilt, is easing slowly.
