Nvrgnbk said: Gregor, your post has offended me on more levels than even I realize.
Sorry, I knew it was going to be edgy and I tried to soften the negatives. Please, another chance?
No, I'm sorry, Gregor.
I just ate some snow and I'm feeling much better.
Carry on.
I think the following might be to your liking, you winterphobe...
I adore summer and I hate winter and there is no use trying to persuade me that this is irrational or that life isn’t that clear cut.
You’re wrong.
It is that clear cut.
Winter is pure evil.
Don’t try to tell me that ice skating (sledding / tobogganing / skiing / ice climbing / snowball fighting / snow fort building / snowperson building / making angels in the snow) is fun. These activities are not fun.
I went ice skating once and spent one terrifying hour of my life watching wicked silver blades whoosh past me as I was prone on the ice, unable to successfully stand up. As I huddled there, trembling and afraid, seeing my life flash in front of me in the gleam of those blades, I thought that I would never see home again.
When I went skiing and other people were sitting on the ski lift seat, I accidentally slid beneath the lift and became stuck in the snow, wedged beneath the seat. Yes. The entire ski lift was shut down to dig me out. You don’t need to remind me. I was there.
Don’t try to tell me that I should move somewhere warm. This is my home and it is my firm conviction that Winter should be the one to pack up and go, not me. I don’t care who was here first.
And, when I wear shorts and t-shirts in October and complain of the cold, don’t tell me to put on shoes or a sweater. It is my undying hope and lifelong dream that, one day, Winter will see me in this outfit, become confused and head north. Or south or west or east. I’m easy to get along with and I really have no particular preference.
Don’t try to tell me that, just because my shorts and t-shirt in October plan has failed miserably for the past 45 years, it will fail again this year. You don’t know that, for sure.
By the way, snow is not pretty. I would enjoy Christmas just fine, thank you, while sunning on the beach.
Those of you that share this affliction, known as I-Hate-Winter-Itis, Winter-Phobia or the Snow-And-Ice-Really-Tick-Me-Off Syndrome (names vary, I believe, according to one’s place of birth) also recognize that symptoms begin as early as September.
While you winter people are gazing at gold and russet leaves with a look of wonder and awe, members of the Winter *$(%# Club recognize that, in fact, those poor leaves are starving to death – and yet, are heroically trying to warn the rest of us about the impending danger. “Run while you can,” the oak leaf moans, right before its untimely demise . . . “run while you still can . . .”
Rest in peace, Oak Leaf.
There is, as you already know, only one cure for this disease caused by the dreaded W word – and that’s the return of summer. I therefore intend to hibernate from now through June 2008 (unless an unseasonably warm May entices me out sooner) and I’ve already got my sunscreen and sandals by my side for when I awaken.
Let the countdown to Summer 2008 begin!
http://thewomblog.com/?m=200708
