Anybody out there an Agnostic mentally but a Believer at Heart? (like me)

Meeting Junkie No More

First off, I no longer believe the Bible to be the inspired Word of God.

But with my heart I WANT to BELIEVE. I love the idea of an all-powerful Deity that cares for me and the rest of humanity. I can't wrap my head around the whole RANSOM 'provision' (ugh) any more, but I find great inspiration in the Jesus that the Bible portrays (for the most part). Sometimes I feel like I am living in the wrong century; that I love the medieval mindset. I don't know why. I love the whole idea of superhuman beings (angels) flying around midheaven and somehow guiding events on earth to a wonderful conclusion and I absolutely adore great religious buildings such as cathedrals both from an architectural point of view and from the feeling of majesty they evoke in me when I have visited them. I have never attended another Church but somehow feel drawn to attend a Catholic service, for the sheer ritual of it, because I think it might answer some void I feel within me.

Does anyone of you out there relate to this feeling at all, or am I alone in this?

A bit of history: More or less born in, faithful meeting attender for 43 years, now absolutely sick of the 'bankruptcy' I feel at the sight of the general austereness of Kingdom Halls, the lack of beautiful art, beautiful music, beautiful people. There is no SOUL left there and maybe that's what I miss. Sorry for the rant...

BFD

I knew if I stuck around here long enough I'd find an explaination of how I feel about it all. That's it! I am agnostic mentally but a believer at heart. How screwed up is that?

I hang onto Jesus by a thread. And, I do like the traditions of the Catholic Church. I was raised a JW from age 5 and was baptised at 14.

I also was baptised Catholic as an infant and I do enjoy going to Mass on occasion now or sometimes I just go to church to pray or meditate. The doors of the church are always opened in my small town. I admit some of the statues still freak me out but not enough to keep me away.

BFD

Meeting Junkie No More

BFD:

I am so HAPPY to hear that there is at least one other person out there that UNDERSTANDS ME!!!!

I am even starting to love the statues! I feel they put me in mind of another dimension - there's nothing I love more than to see a statue of an angel in a garden or Jesus with outstretched arms - heck, I don't even mind Mary or the saints. I figure if a picture of my dog on the wall is ok, then what's wrong with representations of beings that may exist or representations of those that have gone before us? I no longer view them as images (in the sense that they are to be worshipped); rather, they put me in a different 'sphere'. That's why I guess I should have been living in the medieval times. I would have loved it I think!

Anyhow, thanks so much for responding.

serotonin_wraith

You don't have to believe in the Egyptian gods to appreciate the buildings and statues they created as part of their worship. The pyramids still give people a sense of wonder, even though they were originally designed as afterlife machines. I think you can seperate it today with the modern religions too.

Dagney

Maybe. Logically the "sky-daddy" doesn't make sense anymore. But after 40+ years as a believer, it's hard to let go.

I have never attended another Church but somehow feel drawn to attend a Catholic service, for the sheer ritual of it, because I think it might answer some void I feel within me.

Being raised as a JW, I was always scared to death of any other form of worship. A year ago I went to Notre Dame in Paris. I had been there several times before without any feeling other than "get me the heck out of here." This time I had a very emotional experience, and that was really strange for me. We kept going back, visiting everyday after our day's acitivites. Then we visited other cathedrals in the area, and felt pensive and moved by each one.

Between the first time I went to Notre Dame and this last, of course I left the JW's. Also I had read a bit about the the martyrs and saints, which I'm sure contributed to this new feeling. And this year, I went to midnight Xmas mass, and thoroughly enjoyed it. (It was packed BTW.)

So I guess I'm saying, you are not alone. I don't exactly what to make of it. All religions have a checkered past, and all are accountable for their deeds. But for right now, I say be curious and open to any experience you choose. Find out what pleases you and moves you.

I wish you strength for the journey.

inkling

I feel that there is a god.

I think that there is not.

[ink]

Meeting Junkie No More

ink:

Ditto!

Must obey!

I don't believe it is a case of either the Bible is the word of God or it isn't. That is black & white thinking. The truth always lies somewhere in the middle. So I believe the Bible is predominantly the word of God but not that it is inerrant. God allowed some error & myth to creep in, but most of it I believe is reliable.

I am also what I call a Christian agnostic, meaning I believe in the Christian God of the Bible but I do not give organised religion the time of day any longer. God only operates through individuals, not religions.

middleman

No offense here but going from JW to Catholicism is jumping from frying pan into the fire. Study all of their pagan/satanic roots as I have and you'll see. Believe it or not they have a similar mindset to JW's in various aspects. One being that they believe they're the ONLY true church. The inquisitions of times past show this fact. They have toned that down in recent years to "blend" in. Why do you think the Vatican is the ONLY sovereign nation in the world? Another is the outward appearance of being holy (priests weiring "holy" garb etc)or sincere while these traditions of veneration of the pope, saints, and angels (for Catholics) and JW's submitting to the "anointed" keeps people from their "personal" relationship with Jesus. Only he alone is our mediator. "having a form of godliness but........." I'm not saying all Catholics are this way however. Many are unknowing of their history or TRUE doctrines just like JW's and really want to serve God, but they just lack certain info that the clergy is hiding from them......sound familiar? If certain knowledge got out, people would leave, therefore power and money lost. That's the main original reason why priests or bishops/priests couldn't marry. If they had kids back in the day, the kids would have an inheritance, so to keep the money in the church, marriage was done away with. So being forced to not marry, many priests developed perversions because of a stifled passion for love. I say this not to make one mad but to inform. If you have any questions on their history or teachings, I'll answer to the best of my ability. FYI, Most of my dad's side is Catholic and my gf was when I met her (she's from Spain) Blessings.....

serotonin_wraith

I don't believe it is a case of either the Bible is the word of God or it isn't. That is black & white thinking. The truth always lies somewhere in the middle.

Hardly. Here, I'll show you:

I have 100 billion in the bank. True? No.

Does the truth lie somewhere between 0 and 100 billion? Yes, but nowhere near the middle. I don't even have 1 billion. Saying I have 100 doesn't automatically mean I have around 50.

Anybody out there an Agnostic mentally but a Believer at Heart? (like me)

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