Let's start a JW rumor. . .I

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

Did you know that they bury their 'anointed' upside-down like vampires?!?

Hortensia

The children of governing body members party with Paris Hilton.

ohiocowboy

There are thousands of pedophiles in the Kingdumb Halls.

Oh Wait, that's not a rumor, it's TRUE!!!-silly me

justhuman

There is a new light regarding 1914 time of the gentiles...The Bible shows that Jerusalim was destroyed in 587 B.C. and Jesus inspection started 20 years later...

Deputy Dog

With the WT, fact is so much stranger than fiction!

Here is a good rumor! http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/152272/1.ashx Many conscientious ones among Jehovah's people today have wondered if Christians should own cats. The issue is of life-or-death importance since to stumble a brother that Christ died for is tantamount to "putting a millstone around the neck and being thrown into the sea". Clearly our eternal salvation is involved. First let us consider what most scholars agree is the original Greek for the English word cat. felos domesticus meaning literally "a contemporary housecat with all of its beastly identifying characteristics and behavior." Clearly the Bible by using this kind of Original Greek shows beyond a doubt that the basic nature of cats is evil or "beastlike" much like Satan the "Original Serpent" and "the Great Dragon". There are numerous reasons why a Loyal Dedicated Servant of God should use their Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why Cats are not for Christians. Consider the following facts with an open mind:

1) It was a common practice in ancient Egypt to worship cats as gods. As Christians we are to "guard ourselves from idols" and "worship no other gods". Such feline influence could lead to idolatry and thereby "grieve Jehovah's spirit" with tragic consequences.

2) Cats were most likely present at Herod's birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. Clearly then, as loyal Christians, why would we even want to associate with animals that are without a doubt of such bad influence remembering "bad associations spoil useful habits"? To invite cats in our house may result in the same grave consequences as suffered by John the Baptist. Clearly, God disapproved of this party. Should we not then disapprove of cats the way God does? Surely!

3) Throughout history, particularly in the middle ages and reaching its climax in the Salem Witch Trials of the 1600's, cats were recognized as carriers if not direct incarnates of demons. Since cats were associated with the devil could we as loyal and dedicated servants of God therefore associate with cats and thereby associate with Satan himself the "God of this system of things"? Would we want to be subject to such vile influence and possible demonic attacks? Surely not!

4) Nowhere in the Bible are any type of cats spoken of in favorable terms. In fact was it not lions of the first century who the Devil used to devour faithful Christians? God himself "Stopped up the mouths of lions" in Daniel's day. True, the small housecats of today are not lions, but being of the same cursed animal family used by the Devil on numerous occasions throughout history, would it be wise or appropriate to own one? In addition, by owning any type of cat, would we not give an appearance of condoning their evil deeds throughout recorded Bible and secular history. The Bible makes clear that God's people are "no part of the world" and that we are "not to share in the sins of others".

5) The scriptures clearly indicate that neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job, the Apostles , or Jesus himself owned a cat. This was most likely because they didn't want to be like the Pagan contemporaries of their day who showed no regard for how God feels about owning cats. In harmony with the pattern set by the faithful prophets of old, surely it would not be fitting for a Christian today to own a cat.

6) Finally, cats are unclean animals. Some unclean practices indulged in by cats include coughing up furballs, licking inappropriate body areas, urinating on the floor, eating dead animals with their blood, sexual misconduct without the benefit of marriage, abuse of catnip, and stealing food from the table, just to name a few. Uncleanness is one of the "works of the flesh" condemned by the apostle Paul. The Bible clearly shows that "neither fornicators ..........or thieves will not inherit the Kingdom". In addition Paul admonishes us to "quit mixing in company" with such unclean ones. Although the Apostle Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this Inspired Biblical principle can not be applied to association with cats. Uncleanness is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with house cats proves beyond a doubt that Loyal Christians must avoid all association with such animals.

Are we not grateful for this new light coming from God's organization? Sister Catless tells us that since getting rid of her cat she has not had to be preoccupied with cleaning the litterbox and now has alot more time to go pioneering. Brother Bobcat puts it this way, "I'm so grateful that God freed me of the burden of owning a cat. I hope all of the brothers will realize how the devil uses cats to corrupt us and distract from the preaching work." (Matt 24:14) What fine examples of faithfulness! As loyal followers of Christ's thinking on this matter, we can rejoice in the fact that in the new system God will reward all of our efforts to maintain integrity by loyally submitting to the leading of his spirit through the "Faithful and discreet slave".

Undecided

Deputy Dog,

You forgot to mention that some dogs kill cats. This is proof that it has holy spirit and is directed by God so should be viewed as part of the anointed. It should be given wine and special bread on the memorial day and sent to Brooklyn to dwell with the faithfull and discrete slave.

Ken P.

AWAKE&WATCHING

ROFLMAO at Deputy Dog and Unconfused.

WingCommander

Have you heard about Judah Ben Shroder, son of GB Member Shroder? He actually went / goes to a WORLDY college to get a "materialistic" law degree! Guess an Awake! education wasn't enough to defend pedophiles in superior court.

Oh wait, that is also not a rumor, it is FACT. Just proves it's, "Do as we say, not as we do."

F*cking Wankers!

- Wing Commander

Let's start a JW rumor. . .I

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