i have finally got grandma to agree to seeing her grandchild , and hubby does not want it , he thinks that if she cant be bothered to make time for her then i should not chase it up , this is his mother , im not a dub , i can see his point but think it important to try and keep in contact . any advice?
my dissfelowshipped hub not happy about our child visiting grandma
by looloo 37 Replies latest jw friends
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carla
The grandma is a dub? Does she speak to df'd son? If not then there is no reason for her to see the grandchild either. Why on earth would you want a jw grandma to have contact with an innocent child? You know she WILL preach to the kid, tell the kid you and dad will be destroyed, are evil, etc..etc... Aside from the mental and spriritual abuse she will do on the kid, do you really want a grandma to come into the kids life only to yo-yo in and out of the kids life? At this moment grandma is 'willing' to see the kid but who knows? maybe down the road her jw 'conscience' will not allow her to and here the kid has fallen in love with grandma only to be abandoned by grandma because some crazy bastards in the kh & NY have decided she shouldn't see her evil worldly grandchild. Yeah, sounds real healthy for that child. Sorry, to me this is a no brainer, protect your child from cult members when possible. Whatever you decide, never leave the child alone with a jw.
If you are in need of a grandma figure for the child there are thousands upon thousands of elderly in every community who would love an adoptive family.
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nomoreguilt
Does your MIL object to visiting because your hubby is DF'd? Is this grand child the one that was abused?
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Witness 007
It would be nice for the kid's...if he loves them more then his hurt feelings and pride, he would do it.
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carla
It would be nice for the kid's...if he loves them more then his hurt feelings and pride, he would do it.---- That makes no sense to me. So it is ok to teach the kids that your mother SHOULD treat you like shit? They should expect the same when they get older? this isn't necessarily about his pride but what life lessons do you want to teach your children. Do you allow a mother to treat her own son like dirt or actually worse, nonexistant, but everybody should accept her behavior as if it is normal and acceptable? If she is not able to act civil and polite to him around his own children she has no business being there in my opinion. If she cannot accept the boundries set by the parents then she has no business being there. If the kids see that dad can be pushed around and treated so badly by his own mother what does this teach them? to be a doormat?
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garybuss
I wouldn't let my kids within 100 miles of a believing Jehovah's Witness, ESPECIALLY a Witness relative! No way!
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lisavegas420
Does Grandma Dub want to get to know her grandchild?
my parents choose not to get attached...you know, with Armegeoden coming anyday and all. i guess it's less painful this way.
lisa
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ex-nj-jw
Please keep your child away from any dub family or dub member. I allowed my oldest son to visit my dub parents, they screwed that poor child up so bad he's 25 and still F*$# up. They told him that his father and I were gonna cause him to die at the Big A, they told him that we were drug addicts, abusers and that we didn't love him because if we did we would serve Jehoober. They did every thing the could do and say to take him away from us and they won.
If you want to talk, please PM me and I'll call you. But what ever you do never ever leave your child alone with dub family. I'm serious, my son is 25 and he refuses to have contact with me. It's the most hurtful thing you could ever go through short of loosing your child to death. To have them grow up without being in their lives is horrible.
nj
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Hortensia
I agree - you're not a JW so you maybe aren't aware but that grandmother will make it her business to convert that kid come hell or high water and she'll do it by filling the kid's head with very disturbing images of mommy and daddy being killed by god at armageddon unless the kid becomes a jw. I have seen children and grandchildren of ex-jws extremely screwed up by interfering Jw grandparents - don't let grandma anywhere near the kid.
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jaguarbass
i have finally got grandma to agree to seeing her grandchild , and hubby does not want it , he thinks that if she cant be bothered to make time for her then i should not chase it up , this is his mother , im not a dub , i can see his point but think it important to try and keep in contact . any advice? He said what he wanted. And your doing what you want. It works for me. Since hes out of the tower and you were never in the whole male head of the house deal is moot. Play your cards and see how it unfolds, thats life. Your points valid and so is his.