A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." The preacher shocked at
the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?" The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again -- - but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?!"
Have you found Jesus?
by TJ - iAmCleared2Land 10 Replies latest social humour
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TJ - iAmCleared2Land
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VoidEater
I tried Jesus for 30 days, but at the end of the trial period I returned the unused portion...
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prophecor
Wasn't quite sure he was missing, but out of concern, I'll keep looking
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Open mind
He might be at the Goodwill Store.
Jesus Saves.
bada-boom
*groan*
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Gopher
Jesus saves -- and Sydney Crosby scores on the rebound!
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White Dove
No, but I really looked. I looked all over and never found him. I hope someone finds him soon. It's winter and cold outside. From what I've heard, he seems like a nice guy. You know, I always wanted him to be real, but he never showed himself to prove it. Too bad. I'd like to have known someone like him. Wait a minute! I know many people like that. They are my real friends! With friends like mine, who needs Jesus?
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FreedomFrog
LOL
When I first read the title "Have you found Jesus"? My first response before I read your joke was "No, but if you find him would you ask if he's seen my keys, they're lost too".
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NewYork44M
When I read the topic heading I was really offended. Then I realized it was a joke.
No I have not found Jesus. I did not realized I should be looking for him. When did he become lost?
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Anti-Christ
Yea he was hiding behind Buddha because he was afraid that Mohamed was going to kick his ass.
Sorry I know that was lame.
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OnTheWayOut
So this elder is giving a service meeting part on proper dress and conduct
while out in the field circus. He says to the congregation, "Alright, take me
for example, just as I am right now. Why would people assume I was a
Christian?"A pretty teen sister raises her hand, so he calls on her. "Because they don't
know you very well."