For The Noah Enthusiasts. (Not really.) A brief, humorous read.

by Open mind 25 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    I've seen plenty of global-flood bashing websites, but somehow I missed this one:

    http://www.fsteiger.com/flood-report.html

    What I like about it is it's light-hearted,easy reading but still deadly to the idea of:

    a global flood, 4300 yrs ago, complete with Noah's zoo.

    Here's a brief excerpt from the site. I LOLed particularly at the last line.

    ******************************

    EXPERIMENT FOR NOAH ENTHUSIASTS:

    1. Take one of your favorite household potted plants.

    2. Immerse it in water, or just water it like hell, for 40 days and nights. (For full Biblical verisimilitude, try doing this for a full year.)

    3. Observe rotted dead plant.

    As a botanist I get extremely disgruntled when reading about Noah. You see, God appears only to be interested in animals. Noah received no instructions to take on board any plants (by plants I mean angiosperms, gymnosperms, pteridiophytes and bryophytes). Talk about shortsightedness. Could this be the root cause for Zoology always being more popular than botany? Dear Flood supporters, pray tell how did plants survive the Flood? Waiting in anticipation. - M. (Matto), University of Stellenbosch

    After a year at sea, what is the likelihood that any surviving plant seeds would be dropped in an area where the temperature, rainfall, soil, and light would be suitable for their growth?... Assuming some seeds did reach a survivable spot, how long would their flowers have to wait before the birds and insects arrived from Mount Ararat to cross-pollinate them?...

    Isaac Asimov observes that the ancient Hebrews did not regard plants as alive in the same sense animals are; therefore they no doubt had no problem picturing olive trees enduring a year's drowning and sprouting immediately afterward. (Remember the tale of the dove that returned to Noah's ark with a live olive branch in its mouth?) Today's fundamentalists should have learned some botany since then, but they still carry on about the hardiness of olives... Creationists need to soak seeds in muddy salty water for a year and then plant them in unconsolidated, briny silt in an unfavorable climate without insect or avian pollinators to see what happens. Have their mathematicians, so skilled at calculating improbabilities for protein formation, ever determined the odds of plant survival? - Robert A. Moore, The Impossible Voyage of Noah's Ark, Creation/Evolution, Issue 11, Winter 1983

    The Flood, having saturated the earth with salty water, retreats. The land dries out, but the soil remains tainted by its saline past. Worms can not live in it. Plants can not grow in it. The earth dies. - Matt Giwer, talk.origins newsgroup, April 30, 1996

    With the land bare of plants, what did all the herbivores eat after they disembarked from Noah's ark? Oh wait, I forgot, they didn't have time to eat; they were too busy fleeing from the hungry carnivores that disembarked after them. - Skip Church

    ***************************

    I'm currently reading Mark Twain's Letters From Earth and having quite a few laughs. If I remember, I'll post a pretty funny excerpt or two from it as well.

    OM

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    Good point. Everyone forgets about the plants.

  • edmond dantes
    edmond dantes

    I prefer to believe that the owl and the pussey cat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat

  • yourmomma
    yourmomma

    i always wondered why people think its a worldwide flood. The evidence shows there was a flood of an area, which happened to contain those early civilizations. so for those ones, that was their world, and so their world was flooded.

  • LtCmd.Lore
    LtCmd.Lore
    i always wondered why people think its a worldwide flood.

    This is just a wild stab in the dark, but I would GUESS that it's because the Bible says:

    (Genesis

    6:13) . . .: "The end of all flesh has come before me. . .

    (Genesis

    6:17)17 "And as for me, here I am bringing the deluge of waters upon the earth to bring to ruin all flesh in which the force of life is active from under the heavens. Everything that is in the earth will expire.

    (Genesis

    7:18-19) . . .. 19 And the waters overwhelmed the earth so greatly that all the tall mountains that were under thewhole heavens came to be covered.
  • Open mind
    Open mind

    A sympathetic co-worker was sharing a chuckle with me today re: the whole Noah story. I actually read him a few verses from my handy-dandy NWT.

    Gen 7:23 "Thus he wiped out every existing thing that was on the surface of the ground....."

    "wiped out". Gotta love that choice of words. Nice god.

    Gen 7:24 "And the waters continued overwhelming the earth a hundred and fifty days."

    Next verse is:

    Gen 8:1 "After that God remembered Noah and every wild beast and every domestic animal that was with him in the ark,..........."

    "REMEMBERED"!?! WTF? God FORGOT about Noah and his methane & ammonia ridden menagerie for 150 days?!?

    OK, well at least that's how it sounded on a first read.

    I HIGHLY recommend a Bible re-read once the blinders come off.

    OM

  • skyking
    skyking

    LtCmd.Lore Yes the bible!!! because it say so, then it is true..

    Please take one moment and look at the Bristlecone pine. One Pine tree calles Methuselah is almost five thousand years old and we have his dead brethren laying beside him, between him and the dead trees we can trace almost 10 thousand years of California history. Positive proof that at least in California there has not been a flood in over 9 thousand + years.

    But bible believers will never believe facts, the bible says so it is so.

  • amused
    amused

    Ain't it amazin'....the s..t you read in there once the filter is removed???

  • VM44
    VM44

    Isaac Asimov observes that the ancient Hebrews did not regard plants as alive in the same sense animals are; therefore they no doubt had no problem picturing olive trees enduring a year's drowning and sprouting immediately afterward.

    Does anyone know where Isaac Asimov mentioned this?

    It is an excellent point, the writer of the Noah story DID assume that the trees and plant life would be pretty much the same after the flood waters receded as they were before the waters fell.

    Also, the Bible states that "the life is in the blood", but what about plants?

    There certainly is something to be said that the Bible writers really did not give consideration that plants were alive.

    --VM44

  • VM44
    VM44

    Why is it so difficult to refute the Flood story once and for all?

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit