Need advice Memorial

by spoopy 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  spoopy

  I left the troof (forced DF, I may tell the story in the future) I had absolutely no contact with my family for 7 years. Even after years of research and every day for years as a lurker on JWD, in a moment of weakness, because I thought I was missing something I went back. I figured I could take the good and ignore the bad and everything would be o.k. Understand that getting my family back was in no way the driving force. I was so mad at them I didnt care if I ever spoke to them again.

  I jumped through hoops for less than six months got reinstated by the BOE. I was "accepted" back into the family. I found out that having my family back is what I was missing and it's great! As far as the troof.....I can't and I won't do it. I haven't been to a meeting or clapfest in over 9 months. The family does not say a word, it's not even brought up.

  Here is my question; finally. I will not be going to the memorial. I know one of the family members will bring it up, because this date is sooo important. How can I answer them without just telling them I didn't want to go.

  The family is fairly large and my sister attends the same hall so they will know. And they will talk.
• 

  fokyc

  Because it's on a Saturday this year, March 22,

  You have other prior engagements which you cannot change.

  OR

  Just be bluntly honest and say you don't want to go!

  fokyc
• 

  mkr32208

  My advice for a successful fade...

  Since this is your first year out go to memorial this year arrive right before leave right after... Try not to puke! Next year, ALL year no meetings if you still get asked go one last time. Then your out. Since this is your first year of the fade it might be important to do it just once or maybe twice more... Just my .02!
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  5thGeneration

  I see no harm in just going to the Memorial every year.

  Throw your family a bone if it makes them happy!
• 

  nomoreguilt

  There's really no point in going if your heart isn't in it. Who are you wanting to please, you or your family? I take it you're a grown person, therefore it's really none of their business. I went to one last circuit assmbly 3 months after I was re-instated. My new wife and I were treated so rudely, I never went back to a single meeting. No one cares.That was 3 and a half years ago. NMG Welcome to the Board
• 

  WTWizard

  I fully believe that going is a waste of time. You will find the parking lot congested, and the Kingdumb Hell is also likely to be congested. You find your seat, only to get bumped no matter what time you get there. Then there is a boring 45 minute talk, and then passing of the plate of crackers and glass of spoiled grape juice. Of course, you are not supposed to actually partake of any of them. Then there is a fight back out to a parking lot, which is likely to be packed and take another 45 minutes to egress.

  Even worse than the wasted time or boring talk is the hounding. You are likely to get hounded to start going to all the boasting sessions. They will hound you--I know, I have seen Brother Hounder make his rounds to anyone that has missed more than a few boasting sessions or that needs more field circus time. There is always the next "special" talk, which always immediately follows the Crapmorial, and they feel the need to hound you to attend that. Before you know it, you will be right back to going to all the boasting sessions and out in field circus all day, every day and it still isn't good enough.

  The best thing: Blow it off. If you must memorialize the death of Christ, I suggest doing it privately or in groups of around 8-12 people. Everyone can partake in that group, and there will be no boring talk or hounding session attached. Or, go to just about any mainstream church that evening (it is Saturday before Easter). Either way, the outcome is likely to be much superior.

  Or, you can do what I did in 2006. On March 22, go out and buy a Ouija board.
• 

  oompa

  5thGen:

  I see no harm in just going to the Memorial every year.

  Throw your family a bone if it makes them happy!

  Snoopy, I have been stalling posting your exact same question. I am 4th gen BTW 5th....so are we related? I have been an outspoken critic of our oh so "mans traditions" service that last year my book study conductor really thought I was not coming and gave me a long pleading phone call. I went, but like for several years held my nose. Why the crap are great crowd even there.....and all this passin and passing with no eating? Geeze this was part of meal after all so lets get thing catered and chow down!

  Interesting thing about the last supper.....only anointed passed....only anointed ate and drank.....only anointed were there! So you could mention these or other concerns you have.

  I just do not know I can be the hypocritical "BONE" 5th gen recommends. We could just tell them we did attend, but did so "invisibly" just like Jesus showed up in 1914!..............................may try that...or tell my wife the truth, that I just feel too hypocritical about it..........oompa
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  While you are going to get opinions that vary here, only you know what's best for you.
  You lost your family and have them again. You don't want to lose that.

  There is some good in just going to this one meeting. Heck, be 30 minutes late if
  you want, but show up and give them hope- that's one answer. While I won't feed
  my family a false hope, I am sure that my family won't shun me for not going.

  Another answer is to arrange for being out-of-town that weekend. The WTS has lied
  to you, so you could either lie to it's members (family) and say you went, or you can
  say you forgot, or didn't make it. I would recommend a combination. Show up at a
  strange K.H. about 40 minutes or more into the meeting, walk in, walk out. Now say
  you went to a Memorial. It's the truth. "Who did you see?" "I dunno. I was late."

  While it has it's ups, straight out truth won't do your family situation much good. They
  might back off and leave it be, but you know them. If you told them you didn't want to go,
  what would be their reaction? Is it possible that they will semi-shun you or worse?
  If you don't think so, then consider saying "I didn't go."
• 

  Gayle

  You could even partake this year,,now that 'they' re-opened the door of heavenly hope and they admit it wasn't closed after all in 1935. That would 'really' keep them guessing about you!
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  worldtraveller

  I see no harm in just going to the Memorial every year. Did not the bible mention something about telling the truth. Why not try telling the truth to yourself? I cannot fathom living a lie especially to myself. In the long run being honest with yourself is a better choice.

  Why condone and support a cult that feeds on corruption? I can honestly say I do shun. But it is to All Witnesses. I have no interest in supporting a bunch of crooks and liars.