I'm writing a book and here's the first chapter...

by FreedomFrog 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog

    What do ya think? Of course, this is a rough copy and I've got so many ideas on the rest of the book. I'm trying to do a Chapter a day...

    This is based on a dream I've had for a long time and it's a rather cool dream. There's a lot of work that needs to be done on it...I realize...but in general, does it come off interesting? Building a story is very difficult to do especially the first few chapters where you have to build up to the important parts. I'm not really concerned about format/grammar at this point only because my goal is to get the jest down first.

    Chapter 1

    The Dream

    Megan quickly sat up in her soft, warm bed in sheer panic.
    Like many nights, she looked around and realized she was dreaming
    the same dream she had been dreaming for several weeks now. With
    squinted eyes, she could barely see the brightly red numbers on her
    clock.

    “2:46, again!” she mumbled to herself, frustrated.

    She knew she wouldn’t fall back to sleep if she didn’t make
    the trip downstairs and record her dream.

    Hesitantly, Megan swung her slender legs over the bed and
    one by one slipped on her silky house slippers. In a haze, she
    fumbled around for her house coat. It was very soft and fussy
    and made her feel a bit more relaxed. Her son gave it to her for
    Christmas six years ago. Even though it was a bit ragged and tattered,
    she loved her house coat probably more because of it being from her son.


    Fumbling around with her tiny warm fingers, she brushed up against
    a hard cold object that was across from the bed. She knew from the
    feel of the hard surface it was her wooden chair sitting in the corner
    of her bedroom. Her house coat was draped on the back of the chair.
    She slipped it on her body and pulled her long dish blonde hair out
    from under the house coat.

    Her eyes were starting to adjust to the dark room and she could
    see a hint of light coming up from under the door of her bedroom.
    Making her way to the faint light, she found the door and started
    her journey downstairs. On the right of the wall heading downstairs
    was an oval antique mirror that her grandfather gave her. The mirror
    was surrounded by pictures of her family, one of which was an old
    photo of her grandfather. When she would look at her family
    portraits, a warm feeling would come over her especially when
    she looked at her grandfather’s old photo. Something about that
    photo reminded her of the dream she was having but she couldn’t
    put her finger on it.

    Even though the photo would give her a warm
    feeling, there was also a nagging fear that followed the warmth.
    She went to the next step and was examining the mirror now.
    Looking back was her reflection. She noticed the dark circles
    underlining her hazel eyes and a few small wrinkles from squinting
    in the small amount of light coming from downstairs. Her tired eyes
    drifted upwards towards the top of the image and she examined her
    hair a bit. She noticed a few more strands of grey hair. It wasn’t
    noticeable to others but it made her feel old. Even though she was
    only thirty – two, the lack of sleep made her look a bit ragged in
    her opinion.
    After examining her reflection, she let out a heavy sigh. As
    she carefully walked down the last few steps, she heard a familiar
    tip- tip-patter-patter on the hard wood floor in the dining area
    where her computer was.

    Smiling, she whispers, “Good morning Kasey, how’s my ol’ friend
    doing this morning?”

    As if her old German shepherd had responded, she continued,
    “my night isn’t going well either”

    “Do you want a snack baby girl?”

    Hearing the word “snack” excited the fifteen year old mutt.
    Kasey’s eyes were full of excitement and content. Megan had rescued
    her from the pound when she was only six months old. Megan’s little
    girl had always been her joy. She had always wanted children but Kasey
    filled that need for the moment.
    A sad feeling came over Megan once again because she knew her Kasey
    girl was close to the end of her life. Maybe she would have her dog
    for another couple of years but hopefully a bit longer.
    Megan shook the thought out of her head and proceeded into the
    kitchen to get Kasey a treat. Kasey followed her closely to the
    kitchen knowing she was about to get a treat.
    Megan pulled the wooden lid off the tall jar which was filled
    with doggie biscuits.
    “Here ya go girl”
    Kasey gently took the biscuit from Megan and ran into the dining
    room. She made a few circles around trying to find a comfortable
    place to enjoy her treat. She plopped down and started gnawing on
    the bone shaped biscuit as if she was starving.
    Megan stumbled over to the stove and got her tea kettle. She
    went to the sink and filled it up with icy cold water. The water
    was particularly colder than normal; or at least that’s how Megan
    perceived it. Walking back to the stove, Megan set the kettle and
    turned the dial to on. While she waited for the water to get hot,
    she collected her tea and sugar. Then she leaned up against the sink
    and started to think about her dream. At that moment, the kettle
    started to whistle. Megan was startled from the noise and then
    remembered it was her hot water waiting to be made into tea.
    She poured the water in a cream colored mug. There were small
    roses and a butterfly on the side. She steeped the tea bag and
    added a teaspoon of sugar.
    She shuffled back to the dining room and sat at the table.
    The rectangular table had a dark mahogany look with a very shiny
    polish to it. Sitting on the edge of the table was a black laptop
    computer. She flipped open the computer and switched it on.
    After a few beeps and buzzes, the computer was fully up and running.
    She clicked open a file named Journal.
    Kasey stood up, made a few more circles and plopped back down
    practically lying on Megan’s feet. The warmth of Kasey’s body
    and soft fur brushing against Megan’s ankles was a comfort to her.
    Megan began to type and then slowly started drifting into a daydream.
    Her dreams often start out with her standing in front of an
    ordinary house, or at least ordinary from the outside. The house
    would become wildly interesting once she would enter.

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog

    No comments? Hmmm, that tells me either it's boring or hard to follow.

    Just wait, I'll clean it up...finish it and make millions...LOL

  • JK666
    JK666

    FF,

    An interesting start, you have achieved a strong visual. Now flesh out the story.

    JK

  • JK666
    JK666

    Are you the next J.K. Freedom Frog?

    JK

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog
    Are you the next J.K. Freedom Frog?

    That's the idea. Actually, she was one of the authors that have inspired me. She was a single mother trying to make ends meet and here she is all famous and rich now.

    I have wanted to write a novel for a long while but couldn't get the thoughts out of my head. I've taken a few courses in creative writing and have ideas on how to pull the ideas out.

    One thing they suggested was, if you have an idea for a story, start writing without "thinking" until you get so tired of writing down the thoughts. Once the general story is compiled, then do the construction of the book (in my case normally essays).

    We had to take this course because every class we have 2,000 - 5,000 word essays about every week and needed to put thoughts down on paper along with research citations and such.

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog
    you have achieved a strong visual.

    This is what I was hoping for since it is a start....believe me, there will be more meat to it...it's in my thoughts so strong that I still want to write about it but I'm forcing myself to wait until tomorrow so I won't get burned out on it too quick.

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    I like it, though the last sentence would work better for me, pull me into Chapter 2, if it were a little more mysterious or implied something more about what was going to happen...something like, But once the door opened, things would become very, very different.

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog
    a little more mysterious or implied something more about what was going to happen...something like, But once the door opened, things would become very, very different.

    Hmmm, very good suggestion...I like it.

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog
    Her dreams often start out with her standing in front of an
    ordinary house. Things become very strange the moment she turns the cold brass knob on the double wooden door. The creaking, whining of the door was an indication things were about to get interesting.

    How 'bout that? A bit better for a prelude to the next chapter?

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    FF -

    Good start. I liked the interaction with the dog.

    Who's your audience? Readers of romance, fantasy, mystery?

    An editor would have you make the reader feel what the heroine is feeling.

    For example, she sat up "in sheer panic." Describe that so we feel it, too.

    "Heart pounding,"

    "cold sweats,"

    "slippery palms,"

    "cobwebs of sleep"

    These are cliches, of course, but that's where the writing comes in - make it your own words.

    HAVE FUN!

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