I have read things on here that have made me think. I know it's the general idea. But the realisation of some of the issues and their legitimacy has made me wish that I was still a Witness.
No, not for that reason.
But for the fact that I had very good friends who were highly regarded in the hall. I was very close to three elders, and their wives. I would often go round for tea with them, because I lived on my own and they looked after me, for the most part.
Now, they wouldn't look twice at me in the street. If I was still a witness, I could show them things and ask them questions, innocently, even citing the media as my source, not an 'apostate' website. If I was still a Witness, they would have to answer me. Now, they don't have to say a single word in defense.
It made me realise that those on this board who still attend meetings and are held in esteem are in a very powerful position. Not that they can take down the organization from the inside, but that they can talk freely, ask questions (within reason) and talk to elders face to face without having a label of 'disfellowshipped' or 'apostate'.
I sometimes wish I was still In.
by faundy 15 Replies latest jw friends
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faundy
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Dansk
Stephie,
You experienced conditional friendship. Here it's completely unconditional. I understand your pain at losing "friends", but a true friend is someone who takes you for what you are no matter what. Emotional blackmail is one of Watchtower's favourite tools. Don't fall for it.
Dad
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R.F.
I know what you mean faundy.
Even though i'm technically 'still in', I wonder if I should try to help some see what the borg is really about, really ask them things that would hopefully get them thinking. Then when I do talk with them, they tell me things that shows their close-mindedness, showing me how futile it would be to discuss such things with them, and makes me loose the desire to talk with them. That's just me.
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reneeisorym
I would rather have friends I didn't have to be subtle with but could tell the truth to.
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AnnOMaly
It made me realise that those on this board who still attend meetings and are held in esteem are in a very powerful position. Not that they can take down the organization from the inside, but that they can talk freely, ask questions (within reason) and talk to elders face to face without having a label of 'disfellowshipped' or 'apostate'.
Hi Faundy. It aint that rosy. If you can only ask questions 'within reason,' i.e. within comfortable boundaries, then you cannot be speaking freely. You have to very guarded about what you say and how you say it, often having to button it, otherwise you DO get labelled as 'apostate' or 'bad association' or (worst case scenario) kicked out.
But I do take your point in that even the tiniest lines of communication are still open ... if you know how to play the game.
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faundy
Pops- I understand that, but what I was saying is that an insider stands a better chance of getting questions answered than someone who is no longer attending at all.
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jaguarbass
All the people that I knew that asked questions were thrown out.
Sheep follow with no thinking.
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Dansk
Stephie:
an insider stands a better chance of getting questions answered than someone who is no longer attending at all
No they don't! Not in the slightest!! As has been mentioned here, you start asking questions and you become "marked" as someone to watch. You get elders asking you why you are asking such questions and that if you are unsure of anything just leave it with Jehoobah.
To give only one example, Carl Olof Jonsson asked why the society claimed 607BCE was the date for the fall of Jerusalem when it couldn't possibly have been. He was an elder and presented facts to back up his question. He was loyal to the society and did as he was asked....to wait......and wait.......and wait.......until finally he was disfellowshipped. He's still waiting for his answer....................
Dad
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quietlyleaving
I do sometimes think about going back to meetings to try and get dubs to think and reason but its the judgementalism and the bad vibes they give out towards individuals who don't toe the line that I can't stand. If I could put up with that I'd go back.
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And He Ran
Hello Faundy. I think the people that have posted already are right - if you were still in, yes, you could ask questions, perhaps, but I think it would all come to a head at some point in that you would eventually be chucked out (df'd) for asking too many questions, however subtly you ask them or however innocently. When I was in I used to ask my parents questions and instead of answering the question directly they would ask: "where did you get that question?" "have you been on that internet again?" "are you looking at those apostate sites again?"
The motives of the questioner are always brought up. It is almost as if JWs think that no thinking person would ever have doubts of their own or come up with a valid question without having read it somewhere else...