My First Counselling Session. EDMR anybody?

by Crumpet 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  VoidEater

  Hi Crumpet:

  Do you mean EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)? See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EMDR.

  I have benefitted from EMDR. It tries to work at a neural as well as cognitive level to more adequately process and integrate (usually traumatic) experiences. Much of the trauma we experience is "trapped" in a way in our bodies, if you will (a terribly oversimplified description), and EMDR as well as other integrative modalities work to bridge the mind/body gap.

  I, too, found your writing compelling and passionate. Thank you for sharing something of yourself, so personal and touching. I appreciate the trust and daring of your talking about this.
• 

  WingCommander

  Dear Crumpet:

  If I were a JW I'd say you have DEMONS! DEMONS! Run-away!! Burn objects in your house! The psychologist is from the Debil! The Debil! (in the Waterboy's mother's voice)

  But, as a person who loves reading your posts and anguishes when you are down, I'd have to say you are starting down a good path - therapy. While I must admit that one-half of me wishes I'd be on the receiving end of you pulling me off the street for a good shagging, the other half of me sees how spontaneous, dangerous, and destructive this behaviour is and also it is a form of reward or "instant gratification."

  Which ever form of therapy you choose, please make sure you are comfortable with the person you are talking to; that is very important as it will eventually help you trust them enough to truly open up about what has been happening to you.

  I suffered from bi-polar, anxiety attacks w/fits of rage, fits of sexual self-gratification and intoxication, as well as the need for instant gratification in the form of spending money. I am happy to say that through a now healthy relationship through marriage, regular exercise, and organic all-natural medicines, I have for the most part overcome all of my past problems with the exception of some of the anxiety and occasionally instant gratification.

  I truly hope you stay on course and continue your therapy, whichever path you choose. I also hope work and life in general are working out. Have you thought about a change of scenery perhaps? Maybe a new flat in a different part of the country, with new furnishings, etc? Sometimes it takes picking up and rearranging your life to make you have a different outlook on your life.

  Warmest Regards and Luv,

  Wing Commander
• 

  fifi40

  Crumpet

  Your post makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time...............you are a wonderful writer and I think you should pursue this on a professional level........you are gifted.........I have images of you skulking along the streets of London like some celebrity trying to avoid the photographer of Hello magazine.

  Back to the subject at hand I have had 2 years of counselling and have more recently had a 4 sessions with a NLP practitioner which involved hypnotism (but not so I was completely unaware) and a tapping technique similar to EDMR (me thinks), The reason for my counselling and NLP work was due to to various reasons........ coming out of the JWs, losing my first son and one bad relationship, which in turn has contributed to me suffering with panic attacks on and off throughout my life from the age of 16.

  The private counselling I had about 8 years ago and helped sort out a minefield of unhelpful thought process..........the NLP helped with a severe case of panic, literally within 3 sessions I felt back to normal........... and the hypnotism was after a more recent, less severe panic episode............he basically talked me into a very relaxed state and then asked me to go back to a time when i felt unsafe, (I did say to him that I dont remember a time when I felt safe) but a particular time did come into my mind and we worked around that event........I cried a lot............we then did an excercise of imagination that involved being in a room with 2 tv screens that you could control and imagining how you want your future to be.......he also gave me a cd with similar excercies to use at home.

  All in all I feel much more informed and better able to cope with life than I have ever done in my life before........like you I wish I had known what I know now when I was younger. I dont think any 2 cases are comparable but in ways I can relate to things you describe, but I also recognise in you the drive and intelligence that will force you to deal with the issues you have and get to a place where you are comfortable, strong and happy.

  Crumpy if you ever want to chat just ring me, I am a phone call away or a train ride away if needs be.

  Hugs to you hun.

  Love

  Fi
• 

  tall penguin

  What a visceral and compelling piece of writing Crumpet. You helped us all understand what life through your eyes is like. Interesting, to say the least.
  
  I have not done EMDR personally but have had it recommended to me on many occasions. I've done some research and it seems like a very useful technique. Do your research, give it a shot and if it turns out to not work for you or doesn't feel right, stop. It's your treatment program. You're in control.
  
  Good luck to you,
  tall penguin
• 

  frankiespeakin

  Crump,

  Thanks for the post I enjoyed reading it. You should be a writter honey you have a way with words. I see deep blue skys in your future.

  I'm sure your friends here at JWD will give you support, and I liked the growing some balls part especially as a new way to look at your future.
• 

  Crumpet

  I can't tell you how much it means to me to have encouragement when I write something well. Actually I can, if I couldn't I should give up writing. LOL!

  It means a lot because over the years I have managed to convince myself I can't write unless I have a couple of bottles of wine on hand. Having not had any wine for two weeks and having written something that is sufficiently good enough for you to tell me so is fantastic. And I thank you.

  Yumbby - I really wanted to try and capture what it's like - that is like being on drugs and that you really see things so extremely. I have to add though I wouldnt want it to go away completely. Its addictive.

  Voideater - thank you for beating me to finding some info out. I've had a couple of really helpful PMs too enlightening me on the subject. My counsellor did say it involved tapping. So I'm relieved as hell that it doesn't involve tap dancing as I fear I may be rather ungainly at such an enterprise and that my counsellor would be unlikely to retain furniture that didn't fall victim to my attempts!

  Well, well, well WingCommander! - So we are kin then. I say let's give in to carnality and quench it! Oops no, I don't say that at all. Bad, bad! I am planning on moving when I get back from the States. After all I've exhausted my locality now. Just kidding. I am edging gradually closer to you and looking at moving to Wales

  Fifi40 -

  Your post makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time...............you are a wonderful writer and I think you should pursue this on a professional level........you are gifted.........I have images of you skulking along the streets of London like some celebrity trying to avoid the photographer of Hello magazine.

  Your first line is some of the best praise I have ever had. If I write a book, that's what I aim to do, make people laugh and cry at the same things, because there is humour in even the bleakest moment. Oh and the info on the therapy you described - that was helpful too.

  Thanks Tall Penguin! I shall come back and report when I've had some done if I go through with that and say if I think it was useful in my particular circumstances.

  JK666 - just remember - "melting frozen berries"!

  Frankiespeakin - I'll try not to grow too big balls though - its not ladylike and I shan't be able to cross my legs demurely!
• 

  R.Crusoe

  Hi Nina,

  Evocative post and almost a distillation of several male script writers in one go!

  Your counselling sessions are for your experiment and so long as you don't fear anything about them maybe you should unwind your soul and fire rockets to the moon just for the hell of it!

  If that be so you maybe would know more than anyone else can offer you and teach all of us a thing or two! You are a very perceptive lady indeed so know it and channel it! It may teach you more than any of us know and if not so what?
• 

  R.Crusoe

  Hey Nina - missing family is a no answer question when I think of it! It's like building a network of grandparents, children aunties and uncles and regular family celebrations throughout each year to build into memory for future nostaligia. It's been stolen!! From the life we're in!

  For me it will never exist and has never existed and I still have it in my head as a dream I need to lose!! I don't know what to replace it with that makes tomorrow worth waking up for. So I have to look at nature and the many thousands of years in it- way before my coming and way after my going! I have to know that I am lifes gift as myself and whatever I bring is another seed on the wind , another breath of life in the chilled morning air, another sculpture of natures godess like hands to be as it is in a life form of poetry! It is why I am inclined toward witchcraft(Wicca for harm none) and maybe druidery -I know not yet - but which ethos suggests 'magic is the power of the individual to effect positive change through personal willpower' - it leaves out all organised religion and hands nature unto you - the living human!

  My perspective on councellors is that they tell you what you already know better than they do!

  Maybe they can help with a few things but at the end of the day I'm still going home with no future family, no prospects and no will to live out my life!

  So what have I got control over? The will to live out my life! It's all I can change and so if I find something to occupy and make me feel I'm worthwhile and appreciated, things should have a chance to get on track.

  Having someone to love me unconditionally is what I need - someone whom I can sleep and wake up with that I can breathe and walk moors with that I can hold and wrap up with whom will want me inside them as much as i do they. I want someone who'd be happy locked in a prison with me coz if they were there it'd be heaven. Unless I find that, no councellor on Earth is worth more than my next visit to the john! Maybe for you it can - hey I heard of one JW who was being councelled and it turns out to be her husbands next partner - so how bad can a councellor get for messing with your head?? Sure I'd love lots of attention and short term aquaintances and good luck to those who can for many are unable to - but it can become a distraction in itself - if a lovemate comes along one can finds oneself a changed person and not ready to take up the role maybe years ago you would have loved. We both know there's something we need which maybe will never quite come in the shape we imagine and if it did we ourselves would be out of shape to match it!

  So any help I offer you is sort of my own cry for help - go figure while I take another vodka - what pratt posted that thread about drinking alone? I kept off for over a week till today - but I must admit this Valentine got more than I can take! lol From russia with love!
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Crumpet, I know nothing of these therapies.

  I did want to say that, while my bitterness/depression is very different from yours,
  I understood the entire post as if I could be the person feeling that way. Your writing
  is crystal clear to me. It is great that you are looking for help and trying to research
  the type of help you might need.