Visit with my uncle

by Bumble Bee 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Well, yesterday was probably the last time I'll see my uncle alive. I was aprehensive about the visit, but all in all it went ok. (You can find the back info here http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/152688/1.ashx and here http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/152696/1.ashx)

    We got to the hospital and my three cousins were there with their children (who I haven't seen in many many years). Another relative was in visiting when we arrived so we waited and chatted in the family room for awhile.

    When it was time to go in, he genuinely seemed happy to see me, opened his arms for a hug and patted the bed beside him for me to sit there. I took his hand and at first he didn't know what to do, but then said I could hold it and keep it warm for him. I had tears in my eyes, but held it together pretty good.

    We sat like that for quite a while, sometimes he'd doze off, or just lay there resting , then he'd kind of wake up and start talking, mostly about his condition and the stand he took on not having blood. He said "now we all know how special I am, only 2 in one million people get this condition". He talked about giving a witness to whoever he could in the remaining time he had left.

    He said without treatment he'd live one to three months, but it's obvious it won't be much longer. His daughter said they are seeing him go downhill more each day. It was only on Friday that he was diagnosed with this, it's all so fast!

    With radical treatment and regular blood transfusions, he'd have anywhere between 1-3 years. The top Dr in Canada that specializes in this condition saw him on Friday, and said if he wasn't going to follow the treatment protocol that he could do nothing for him. The Dr in the hospital said pretty much the same thing, so now it's just keeping him as comfortable as possible.

    My family are hard core JW. They talked about how because of his stand he's guaranteed a resurrection and they will be doing everything they can to be there when he comes back. How we have to make the "new system" real to us and not think that it's so far away and not strive towards being in it. They are already talking to their children and saying things like "what do you want to do with grandpa in the new system". One of the grandkids made a card that said "I can't wait to see you in the New System". They all said what a great example he is giving the grandkids with his stand for no blood, what a great heritage he's passing on to them. I think this was the hardest part of the whole visit for me.

    When it was time to go, I hugged him again, kissed his cheek and told him I loved him. He didn't say it back, but did hug me for a few seconds longer.

    BB

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    Hugs ((((((BB)))))))

    I'm not totally sure how I think about your family's handling of the greif. I guess at least they're being comforted, even though it's (as I believe) a false comfort. Anything that helps I guess is better then nothing. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs, other's turn to religion.

    It's just too bad that he's so determined to strap a bomb on himself become a martry.

    Kwin

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    (((((((((((((((((((((((BB))))))))))))))))))) It sounds like he was just has happy to have seen you also.

    nj

  • cognac
    cognac

    Wow, I'm so sorry... That whole blood thing sucks....

  • BFD
    BFD

    You did the right thing by going to see him, BB. You are a very special lady and don't let anyone tell you any different. Even though your uncle did not say he loves you back, I'm sure in his own way he does. Sometimes older men just don't know how to form those words. This brings tears to my eyes.

    As far as the family talking up "the new system" it is just a coping mechinism I guess. Some people would think that it is just as ridiculous to have a hope in seeing our passed away loved ones in heaven. But, it gives hope and comfort.

    I wish I could be there to give you a big hug! You've got class, BB.

    BFD

  • sweetface2233
    sweetface2233

    At least he has/had a sense of humor about his condition and whether or not their words of comfort were true, they were comforting for him and the rest of your family, nonetheless. I wish small words like that could comfort you, but just know that I care about you very much and if there is anything I can do, please let me know. I have some vaca coming up and would love to see you again.

    Crissy

  • llbh
    llbh

    ((((( Janet))))))

    This is sad in everyway

    Regards David

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    I'm not totally sure how I think about your family's handling of the greif. I guess at least they're being comforted, even though it's (as I believe) a false comfort. Anything that helps I guess is better then nothing. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs, other's turn to religion.

    It's just too bad that he's so determined to strap a bomb on himself become a martry.

    I know kwin, I've always found it strange how they deal with their grief. I've never seen them cry or be upset at funerals, even our grandparents.

    It sounds like he was just has happy to have seen you also.

    I think so too nj - he talked about the bbq I had him and my aunt over for three summers ago and how much he enjoyed it (I had my Martha Stewart apron on for that one! lol).

    That whole blood thing sucks....

    Yes, conac, it does! Another life sacrificed for the WT.

    Even though your uncle did not say he loves you back, I'm sure in his own way he does. Sometimes older men just don't know how to form those words. This brings tears to my eyes.

    I think so too, BFD, and knowing him the way I do, it didn't surprise me that he didn't say it back. Atleast he knows how I felt about him.

    At least he has/had a sense of humor about his condition and whether or not their words of comfort were true, they were comforting for him and the rest of your family, nonetheless. I wish small words like that could comfort you, but just know that I care about you very much and if there is anything I can do, please let me know. I have some vaca coming up and would love to see you again.

    He did have a sense of humour about it, and that sooooo reminded me of my father. When he was talking about it and smiling, I could see my dad in him. He seemed to have accepted things and was at peace with it, and I'm sure that makes things easier for his children and grandkids.

    Thank you all for your support and suggestions on what to do in this situation. It really means alot to me.

    BB

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    You were very brave going there, knowing you would surely face all the things you did. We said the same things to my kids when my grandmother died and when their uncle died, in an effort to help them cope. It always felt strange to say it, what would you do in the Paradise....With my son now I tell him my dad is in heaven, watching him. I don't know whether he is or not, but it feels more natural to say.

    You were a wonderful example of how to be a caring person, JW or not.

    momz

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    (((((((((((Bumble Bee)))))))))) My thoughts are with you.

    Maddie

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit