IF THERE WAS AN UNSOLVED DEATH IN A KH

by badboy 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • edmond dantes
    edmond dantes

    We now take you over to Foxy News for an update on the breaking news of a bizarre murder we told you about before the break.Hello Melissa outside the Kingdom Hall church ( they don't know any better) of the Jehovah's Witnesses."Melissa what have you got for us?" "Well it appears Brad that the body of a prominent member of the Jws' was found earlier today with a toilet duck and brush rammed firmly down the throat of the deceased male who is said to be a visiting overseer, but the police do not want to elaborate as it is early days in the investigation.I have with me a previous member of the congregation.Could I ask you sir ,what do you know about the events surrounding the death of this person, your name sir ?" "Well my name is Ivor Scaped , I was attending my judiciary meeting and sitting all alone which is not unusual since I started telling everybody that I was a member of the JWD group ,on line , and have now realised I had been lied to all these years of no blood ,toil, tears ,and sweat. I was waiting to be called when all hell broke loose if you will pardon my language.All of a sudden I dashed out to the lobby and saw Bro.Rob Ublind, postate; sorry prostate on the floor.Now here's the thing ,he had two red pricks in the side of his neck."

    To be continued.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    my favorite line was about the inspector having two bodies to exam - the dead body and the body of elders. That's clever writing.

  • badboy
    badboy

    THROW IN A BIT OF DOCTRINE ETC AND YOU MIGHT HAVE A GOOD MIX.

  • JK666
    JK666

    Continuing the Pulp Fiction analogy, the motive was an indecent foot rub.

    JK

  • brinjen
    brinjen

    "I'm sorry Ivor, we're going to have to interrupt you for a moment there. It appears Sargeant Charles Russell has just arrived at the scene." As she hitches up her skirt and makes a bolt for the car that has just arrived. "Sir, what are your comments? Do we know who did this? Sir? Sir?"

    " I have no comments to make, just let us do our investigation." came the gruff reply.

    In all his years in the police force, he never thought he'd be back. His old congregation. Back in the days when he was an elder and an active member. Until the day he googled "Jehovah" on the internet then it all began to unravel. He was late, he'd just spent the last hour arguing with his boss to not assign him to the case. But there was no one else who could do it. He had the inside information, "Jesus", he thought to himself, "I could spend the rest of my life investigating what goes on here and still never get to the bottom." That's why he chose police work, it filled the burning desire to expose the real truth, to speak out for the victims who could not speak for themselves.

    As he stepped inside, the first thing he heard was the sickly music pumping out of the sound system, along with the even worse live singing. He instantly craved a cigarette. But the last thing he wanted to do was step outside with the media circus out there. He shook his head at the irony of the situation, then it dawned on him. A quick glance around confirmed what he'd just realised, there isn't any 'No Smoking' signs.

    As he inhaled the first drag, a contented smile came across his face. Oh how long he'd been waiting to do that, if only he'd thought of it sooner, now that would have been a hell of a good way to exit. His eyes then wondered down the floor, where the victim had been found. Brad, the visiting overseer with a heart of gold, or so that's how those who didn't know him thought. But Charles knew many secrets about Brad that not many others knew, that it was Brad who originally turned him into the local body of elders. He took another drag of his cigarette and thought to himself how glad he was to not be in charge of this investigation. That was the job of Avingyou who was now approaching Russell with a quiet grin on his face.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    "Russell, is it true you used to be one of these nut jobs?" Russell nodded without smiling in return. Avingyou said, "well here's the story. They all know who the dead man is, one of their traveling ministers, evidently. Some kind of supervisor. But that's all they know. No one knows why he was here, or who else might have been here to meet him. No one knows anything negative about the victim. No one knows if he has any enemies or is involved in anything suspicious. There's no sign of a break-in, but the victim doesn't have his own key to the building, according to the priest." Russell interjected, "he's an elder, not a priest."

    "Whatever. So if it's true he didn't have a key, then someone had to let him in. All the ministers here" ("elders," muttered Russell), "well they admit to each having a key, but they all say that they have their keys and haven't loaned them out to anyone."

    "Well they're making themselves look like suspects, then, aren't they?" Russell replied. "Oh no," Avingyou said, "they all claim they were out in 'service' and have an alibi. What the hell is 'service'?"

    Russell didn't really have the energy to explain, so he just said "you know, they go out knocking on doors and preaching."

    "So they'd be with other people all the time and have witnesses to their alibis?" Russell felt as though this was going to be a long, tedious investigation if he had to explain every aspect of the Jehovah's Witnesses religion to his superior. "Not necessarily. The elders get the field service started, assign people to work along a specific street, and then the elders often go off to make return visits and just check back in now and then to see how the service group is doing. To tell you the truth, sometimes an elder will get everyone else started preaching, and then go off by himself to have a donut and coffee before going back to check on the flock."

    "So what you are telling me is that they don't really have alibis after all, unless they stayed with the group? Well, that is going to give us a lot of work, checking those alibis. By the way, even though there is no sign of a break-in, and no sign of any vandalism, these folks claim that it had to be a hate crime, that they are being persecuted by the local churches."

    "Well yeah," admitted Russell, "a persecution complex is a big part of the religion. It's what they feel makes them special. But that just means more work, trying to find out if there is actually any persecution going on, or if it is just a red herring to keep us from looking at them as suspects." "Well, you know we're going to look at them anyway. They can't sidetrack us that easily."

  • badboy
    badboy

    WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE DO A SERIES ON YOUTUBE.

  • edmond dantes
    edmond dantes

    It was now late in the day and three top officials from Brooklyn arrived.Service desk Derrick (I give out the preliminary answers) was the first not to be let in past the cordon; scene of crime don't you know. Followed closely by the Watchtower Farms chief cow hand and milking overseer Willie Warmhands and following close on his heels , one very ,very , very ,very senior Wacktower lawyer who approached the cordon with a confident stride and said to the police lady " excuse me! do you know who I am?" " No sir, never seen you in my life before but I see from your identity card ,attached to your lapel ,of that very impressive suit that you are moddeling ,sorry wearing, that you must be Tony Topnotch from society HQ in Brooklyn" came back the reply."As a matter of fact I am Gordon Greenback, Greenback as in dollars." " Sorry Gordon you can't go through the cordon," said the police lady who was now by this time being reinforced by a male policeman who spoke in a very squeeky loud pitched voice saying to the female police opertative, " these new truncheons are splintering so easily, do you think you could retrieve some the bits of wood from my butt later ,when things quieten down and we are on our own?"

    The police chief Letsbe avingyou came up to the police line and asked what all the noise and fuss was about, and asked why a suited convention delegate with a prominent badge was trying to stick his brief case into the proceedings. I AM NOT HERE ON MY OWN shouted G.G. ,there are three of us , a triad if you like. I thought you lot didn't belive in a trinity ,so what do you want?" GG replied by introducing Service desk Derreck, "You won't get much out of him he's just the front man," said GG. So who is the local yokel then said the chief. To which Willie Warmhands said" Ize here for a learning curve because in the not so distant future ,before arma, arma , arma," he began to stutter,. Out with it man do you mean armageddon interupted Letsby " no before arma going to start milking again at five in the morning."With that shattering piece of new light Willie started to explain that because Brooklyn HQ was moving to the styx up country as it were, he was trying to find out what he had coming to him and he wanted to gain first hand info.

    To be continued.

  • edmond dantes
    edmond dantes

    Hortensia,

    Thank you for the kind comment about the "two bodies; elders and the dead one ." Sometimes when I read my own postings I think I must be losing my marbles.

    Edmond.

  • badboy
    badboy

    WHEN WILL THE NEXT INSTALLMENT BE?

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