Are JWs allowed to go to wedding of disfellowshiped child? (page 2)

Gordy

My JW wife would not attend the wedding of our eldest son because he was disassociated and getting married in a church.

Neither would his two JW sisters.

My notes from one of my last C.O. visit meetings with the body of elders (Society's outline) states specifically that if an elder or MS attended a wedding, reception or other social event where a DF'd person was known to be present, it would call their qualifications into question. In other words, "Don't do it! Or else!" A lowly publisher might get a wrist slap, at worst. But if everyone else sees an elder doing something, in the minds of many, that makes it OK. It's interesting to see that as one "advances" in the organization, submission to the BORG becomes a much heavier requirement, since "the GB giveth, and the GB taketh away."

cognac

Isn't it great to no longer be under the Mosiac law???

sass_my_frass

My parents came to my wedding; Mum 'decided' that she would stop having the book study at their house because she 'didn't want to stumble anybody'. I don't know how much pressure she was put under.

freetosee

Thank you all, I now have more info to pass onto a DA person I know who is getting married.
The situation is quite complicated: The bride is DA and her fiance is the son of a df'd "sister". The bridegrooms parents are divorce and remarried. His father (never a JW) is now married to a df'd sister, who in studying again in order become reinstated. I think his father is studying too(?). Also the bride's family is mostly inactive, with some still believing and others not. Her father is an extreme jw former elder, who stepped down due to health reasons.
So as you can see, there will be Quite a few df'd and inactive persons attending the wedding. So there are understandably many concerns about the aftermath of attending this wedding.
Thanks for the updates OTWO and Cog. OP THX for the quote. Just a few years ago my friends father showed her a km and told her, he can have no further association with her, but in the meantime he is not being strict about this. She will be happy to hear that her wedding does not necessarily constitute a df'ing offence as she has been told.
Actually it feels strange to have to write about this, I mean, two people are only getting married and they are made to feel as if they are doing something bad..

OnTheWayOut

This is a huge can of worms for anyone "active" or fading.

The bride is DA. Her family is mixed inactive and active.

The groom's mother and step-mother are DF'ed.
(The step-mother trying to get reintstated and maybe his father is studying. )

While it is a can of worms, anyone who thinks they should not attend, but does,
will not want to rat on others. It would not be a DF offense- use Open Mind's
quote from their elder manual.

Tell anyone to do what their heart tells them is right, but do not tell other JW's
anything about it, because they would be so judgmental. Minimize explaining
your situation to anyone at the wedding, just say "I am Fred, the groom's cousin."
If they ask about status, play dumb or just say, "It's personal."

blondie

Some may go, but should be prepared to lose any "privileges" such as being an elder, ms, or regular pioneer, reading at the meetings, doing sound or assisting the MS. It has happened to some on this DB. If the WTS does not want df'd people in the wedding party, it would not make sense that they would approve of the bride or groom being df'd. It would be best to keep the information quiet.

*** w97 4/15 p. 26 Weddings That Honor Jehovah ***While a disfellowshipped person could be allowed to attend the talk at the Kingdom Hall, TheWatchtower of April 15, 1984, said: "It would be unfitting to have in the wedding party people who are disfellowshipped or whose scandalous life-style grossly conflicts with Bible principles."

lrkr

The last I heard (about 9 months old from a CO visit elders meeting) the R&F get a good "counseling" for doing such a thing. An elder, MS, or pioneer gets their "priviledges" reviewed. (Code for "we remove them")

cognizant dissident

So, by all accounts it is still the same procedure as 10 years ago. Counseling for the R&F not to go but no real sanctions, removal of privilieges for MS and higher. In our family, it was only the men (who weren't MS) that got counseled not to go. No one said anything to the women at all. I guess that is one benefit of being a woman in the borg. Because you have no power or voice, you are really not held as accountable for your actions as the men are. You are assumed to be in submission.

The reproof to the men doesn't last long, anyways. My father was made PO again in one year and a year later my husband and brother in law were both made MS. So, I would say go to the wedding. The hard feelings from not attending will last a life time, but so few young men are reaching out for priveleges in the borg that the elders will forget about in a year anyway, if you do go to the wedding.

Cog

steve2

I would have thought the more important question would be, "Why on earth would a disfellowshipped child want their JW parents at their wedding?" Unless you're into keeping company with sodden wet blankets, surely that magical day should be kept JW-free.

Are JWs allowed to go to wedding of disfellowshiped child?