Any witlesses that try calling on me are wasting their time and gas. They ring the bell, and if I see witlesses, I do not answer. They try the phone, and all they get is my answering machine (no returned call). They try a letter/guilt card, I shred them.
If they do manage to get me, I will simply tell them that any religion or God that prefers to have active pedophiles remain in good standing while all I am allowed to meet is just other men is not worth living for; and if they come up with specious reasons why I should give them another try or claim it isn't that way (when I know blatantly well that it is), all they are doing is committing fraud and will have criminal fraud charges pressed against them if they continue.
If they get in my house, the first thing I do is display as many Christmas decorations as possible (regardless of what time of year it is) and start playing Christmas carols with an apostate Web site displayed on my computer. Then I pull out my Ouija board and Crisis of Conscience and politely ask Satan to afflict them with the just-meet-men affliction that Jehovah mercilessly afflicted me with, and do whatever it takes to sabotage the growth of any and all of their studies. And, if that doesn't work, I don't know what would.
Of course, that doesn't stop them from physically picking me up and dragging me to the boasting sessions and disabling me from doing anything that might undermine their efforts.