I am happy.

Bobbi

For so many years I put hours and hours into field service and the like. I spent hours sitting in
hot stuffy cars catering to the whims of old women and arrogant men. I bit my nails to the quick
and never felt good about myself.

Today my son walked by me and I grabbed him and hugged him. He looked up at me and asked why.
I said, just because I love you and am proud of you. He rolled his eyes and walked away but I
could tell he was smiling.

Today I spent two hours sitting on a hard chair bouncing a three month old baby while his mommy talked
about her troubles with breastfeeding. I also talked to a soon to be new mom about what to expect.

I really felt like I made a difference. My time was not wasted and no one implied I could do more. They
were happy I was there. My nails are long and healthy. I am able to show affection
much more readily to those I love.

This is what happens when you leave the guilt and pain behind and move forward. I still have "issues"
however the good times are so much more frequent and I am able to recognise them now.

Stacey

GoingGoingGone

What a great post!

I think it's so important to recognize the good times in our lives and understand the times we make a difference in others' lives. After a lifetime of always trying to be good enough, sometimes I feel like I have to give myself permission to be happy. It's ok to be proud of what you do to make a difference in someone's life.

Thanks for sharing!

GGG

babygirl75

Good for you Bobbi...

It's amazing how less stressful life is now, uh?

How old is your son? My son is 9 and still loves me to baby him. I'm just counting the days until that changes & I get the eye rolls. How I dread that day!!!

babygirl...

Sad emo

What a lovely post Bobbi

Great to read that you can take so much joy in the 'ordinary things' now. My wish is that many more, both here and still trapped will reach this point one day.

Today my son walked by me and I grabbed him and hugged him. He looked up at me and asked why.
I said, just because I love you and am proud of you. He rolled his eyes and walked away but I
could tell he was smiling.

Now ain't that a typical boy response to a hug?!

DJK

I bit my nails to the quick
and never felt good about myself.

I know exacly how you felt. I bit my nails at every meeting, plucked hair from my head and I had a visible shake in my hands, all of it disappeared two years after I stopped going to the meetings.

Freedom. I now enjoy what I choose to enjoy without anyone or any org telling me what is acceptable or not. Life is so much better when you do it on your own and you get the feeling you've done something good for someone.

cognac

Today my son walked by me and I grabbed him and hugged him. He looked up at me and asked why.
I said, just because I love you and am proud of you. He rolled his eyes and walked away but I
could tell he was smiling.

Awwww, that's so cute!!!