LADIES: .....Do you HONESTLY want your husband to be your best friend?

by Bourne 27 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Bourne

  Some women I have known speak of their desire to have the person they marry to also be their best friend.......Other's relate that they already

  have a best friend in the form of a longtime girlfriend, and would rather have their husband be their "husband". So.....which is ladies?

  Do women REALLY want their husbands to be their best friends, talking of their fears, hopes, and desires?.....OR does this have the unfortunate

  effect of taking the "mystery" and "strong, silent type" aspect away..... and eventually, your interest in your husband?

  Please help educate me. I welcome any response...

  Bourne
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  Layla33

  Well when I was married, and even when we dated my ex husband was my best friend, there is no one it would have worked as long as it did or end in such a respectful way. Personally, I feel like that friendship creates the bond that stablizes any marriage, so if not your very best friend, one of your closest with whom you can trust and confide in. Without that kind of connection, I just don't think it can last.
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  momzcrazy

  No, we are friends. I think you must be. But I have my own and he has his.

  momz
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  llbh

  i think the premise of your argument is slightly skewed, men and women often want the same things. to phrase your question to women misses part of the equation.

  I want a lover and a friend, alot of people want this too. So yes she would be usually be my best friend and confidant.

  I want other freinds and do have them to share the parts of my life we do not share .

  Regards

  David
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  cognac

  that would be really awesome to have and I hope to one day... I'd love that, but don't have that right now at least... We have a good relationship, but I think it would be much better if that person was your best friend...
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  Justitia Themis

  The "mystery" of the "strong, silent type?" Yeah, I've met him. He's not really strong at all. That's why he needs a wife to care for his emotional needs. Yet, he is weak and seems unable to give emotionally to her. Silent? Oh, he talks plenty with his mistress. :)

  Are you sure your 37 years old?
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  Bourne

  "Are you sure your 37 years old?"

  I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered..........

  Bourne
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  kitten whiskers

  Yes. He is, and I am so thankful for that! We really enjoy each others company and play like kids! I couldn't imagine not having that close connection. He is my rock.
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  Grammy

  Yes I do,

  I'm blessed in the fact that not only is my husband of 37 years my best friend he is the one person I know beyond a doubt that will always be there for me when the chips are down!

  Don't get me wrong we don't have a perfect relationship (I don't believe anyone does) but I can't imagine my life without him, and I'm told he feels the same way

  I also have a female best friend, I think I'm one lucky old gal.
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  AlyMC

  I've never had a closer friend than my husband. I've never felt safe sharing my deeper thoughts with anyone else. I do like it that way- I can't imagine being as close to a girlfriend.

  That said, I don't think mystery and friendship are mutually exclusive. Sometimes sharing those deeper thoughts and hopes, fears, etc really show how much of your mate you don't know yet. There is so much about me that he doesn't grasp and surely the same goes for him. We've been married for 10 years, and we will are often surprising each other with what is inside, which builds a mystery of its own variety, especially since people evolve and change over the years.

  So in short, I do like having a best friend and I have no need for a strong, silent type. I do like people who think more than they talk I suppose, but that is really unrelated.