I wish I knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother. I know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow WT spectrum. If I do not meet her narrow expectations, I am a failure to her. Sad. Here is a letter she hand wrote me a few days ago. *sigh*
Dear Son,
I've been reflecting on the spiritual inheritance I have recieved from grandma. I appreciate her love and effort to help her 7 children to learn about Jehovah and how to serve him.
So now its your turn, along with Lisa to pass that inheritance on to your girls. I look forward to when we can enjoy our inheritance fully after this old world is gone. See you at the buffet Saturday (she means the A$$embly) Want to take in all that Jehovah has prepared for us.
Love you all very, very, very much- MA
WOW. She has seen me be stressed out somewhat lately (due do knowing TTATT and being "stuck in") and she thinks a letter like that will help. I just feel bad because, in her heart and mind that was encouraging and heartfelt, when all I see is a download of cult guilt and propaganda. She is a model JW. Pioneer, gets up at 5:00 am daily to do her "personal study" eat sleeps and breathes JWbroadcasting etc. She was born in going all the way back to the 50s! I have accepted that I will lose my parents one day, and as a result feel I have grown somewhat distant. Every conversation is laced with dub propaganda, and I prefer not to regularly subject myself to that and its subsequent FOG techniques. This letter upset me at first, but now it just saddens me that this is what my relationship with my parents has become. Most moms love their sons no matter what. Even ax murderers on death row who have lost everyone still can count on their mothers unconditional love. Must be nice.